In the public impression, boys are often considered to be positive and very hopeful to raise an optimistic, strong, and brave child, but many parents have not found the right way in the educational process. I believe that every parent hopes that their children can become talents and have high hopes for their children, but educating children is not as simple as imagined.
Every stage from the moment of birth requires parents to pay great efforts for it, on the one hand, they hope that their children can grow independently, on the other hand, they hope to give their children a full range of care and care, no matter how to choose, they will have some concerns.
Dr. Michael Thompson, a famous psychologist in the United States, has done a series of research on the growth of boys, and published a lot of views, he pointed out in the book "Raising Kane - Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys" that if you want to cultivate sunny boys, it is important for parents to do these 7 points!
First, boys should be allowed to have their own inner world and a comprehensive range of emotions, helping them to deepen and expand their emotional language so that they can better understand themselves and communicate with the outside world.
Parents always hope that boys have a strong heart, it seems that sadness, fear, grievance, worry and other emotions should not appear in them, but in fact, as a parent, to have a correct understanding of the various emotions that appear in children, boys will also be sensitive, but this does not mean weakness. Parents should provide a more inclusive environment for their children, so that they have a space where they can freely express their emotions. In addition, strengthening communication is also beneficial for developing all aspects of boys' emotions and enhancing children's empathy and empathy.
Second, recognize that boys need more physical activity to provide them with a safe space for better expression.
To ask boys about the recent favorite classes at school, most children will opt for physical education classes. Boys like physical education as if it were born. They enjoy physical activity, running, ball games, etc. At this time, what parents need to do is to reduce the intervention in their activities, and under the premise of ensuring safety, they have enough space to make friends and release their nature. After school, children should not only be trapped at home to do homework, they should be encouraged to do outdoor activities, at this time, if there is the participation of parents, and children play games together, it is more conducive to cultivating parent-child relationship.
Third, speak to boys in their language, respecting their pride and masculinity.
Consult with them or treat them as problem solvers and talk to them in a more direct way. Communicating with boys is often difficult, but it is not entirely impossible. If you ask questions in a consultative tone and are not disappointed by their short answers, you will definitely be able to communicate with him. The most important thing is to show respect for the boy's psychological defenses, respect for the way he wants to be strong, and respect for the way he needs to feel stronger than he actually feels.
Fourth, teach boys what true courage is, and that the true strength of life comes from courage and empathy.
Mark Twain once said that courage is the resistance and control of fear, not the absence of fear. Teach children true courage, let them learn to be brave, accept the fear and vulnerability from themselves, and be strong inside. Learn to understand the difference between bravery and recklessness, in order to really look at the difficulties, not to easily retreat, not to blindly venture forward. At the same time, pay attention to cultivating the empathy of boys, learn to see things from the perspective of others, take more care of the feelings of those around them, participate more in activities to serve others, and care more about others.
Fifth, build your child's character through rules and discipline, and be friends rather than enemies.
Punishment certainly has a corrective effect, but not all, in a reasonable time to give the child the correct and scientific guidance, in order to truly play the role of disciplining the child. Give your child reasonable respect, stay calm, and communicate with your child in a peaceful manner. The most important thing when a child makes a mistake is not to criticize, but to let the child correctly understand the relationship between punishment and fault, so that they understand the reason for the punishment, and the punishment is also to be given at the appropriate time period, which needs to take into account the child's acceptance level. Only children who are disciplined in this way can understand the degree of their daily work that they need to grasp, understand the results caused by their actions, and think twice.
Sixth, establish an emotional bond between parents and children.
The father plays an indispensable role in the growth of the child, especially the boy, in adolescence, he will consciously and gradually alienate from the mother, the observation and dependence on the father will gradually increase, he will take the father as an example. Many men are not used to expressing love to their sons, feel that strict father is the role they should do, rarely praise children, or work too busy, feel that providing financial support to the family is the most important, and have no time to be with their children. In fact, the boy is very eager to have a close relationship and emotional bond with his father, and he hopes that he will be like his father, learn to care for the family and take on the responsibility of the family in his father.
Seventh, teach boys that there are all sorts of paths to becoming men in the world.
The criteria for men defined in society or the criteria for success are not single. Men can be strong or sensitive; they can be responsible or loving; they can be sports stars or artists; It can be a conscientious worker in an ordinary post, or a loving father who is meticulous to his family and children. There is not a boy who does not crave the love of his parents and the approval of others. We as parents, as teachers, as neighbors, as relatives, as friends, every day we have this opportunity, when we meet boys, we can say to them: I know you, you are a boy, full of life, full of dreams, full of emotions.
Families with boys, parents hope that their children will become a sunny person in the future, but in the process of children's growth, parents need to be educated and guided in the right way, I hope that the 7 suggestions we share today can be the parents of boys who are nurturing and find the right way to family education.