Sayings：
Today I want to share a very interesting survey that we recently did -
What did you learn from a failed marriage?
Readers @Freedom called her marriage a "fast-food marriage."
Knowing each other for more than a year and getting married for more than a year, "just like instant noodles, you don't know what marriage is like, it's gone." ”
I've always felt that we are very short of emotional education and marriage education. It is a pity that we were prematurely pushed into marriage and struggled in it. So there is a group of "early marriage and early departure".
Here are nearly 700 readers trying to figure out what a marriage really is by ending an unhappy marriage.
This is probably the most authentic marriage education lesson. It is necessary to share it with you who are confused about marriage.
01
Marriage does not solve loneliness.
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Being single is really better than sleeping in the same bed. @A free soul
Married at 24 and divorced at 27.
New understanding: A person is lonely, but having love and marriage does not mean that you will not be lonely. @Earth flower
02
Marriage doesn't solve your own problems.
Marriage is not the end of the escape. @ is one by one
In order to avoid college boyfriends who have been in love for many years but abused each other, I flashed marriage with a person who was older than me. I thought that the man could save me, but it turned out that he was just using me, and perhaps, I was also using him.
Through consulting with a psychologist, I found that the independence I flaunted was not really responsible for my own life. @ The warmth of a cold rainy night
People who can't swim will still choke on water when they change a pool. @Zhang Xiang Fart
03
Marriage is to be learned. Not everyone will.
Being able to get married does not mean that you will love; you will love, and you will not necessarily get married. @Little Marly
After the divorce, I learned that marriage is the lowest point with the other party. @Sanyang Kaitai
Get married early, online love began in the third year, after meeting it didn't feel right but didn't know how to resolutely refuse, couldn't stand the urge to attack, didn't know how to get married, thought about who was married, and couldn't leave again.
Then the early and unexpected pregnancy, the birth of the child, and the back has been a look of separation. Eventually divorced.
Mr. Qian Zhongshu has said that marriage does not require great love, but it is best to have a hard long trip before marriage. I agree with this, how can I forget when I enter the game when I am young? @Mirror
04
The love of marriage is very different from the love of love.
Love is a verb and love is action. @xingzhe
Don't rationalize everything in the name of "love." @Everyday nicknames are too obvious so there are no nicknames
05
Marriage is a legal relationship. Understand the Marriage Act.
Think through a lot and gain some legal experience.
New perception: Women don't have men as much as fish don't have bikes, and that's true. @Big Cat
The role of marriage is to clarify the distribution of property, and it is necessary to recognize that this is not harmful to most girls. @Woo hoo
As an early married family who is in the cooling off period of divorce, no one told me when I got married that the essence of marriage is transactional, and that using business thinking to look at and handle marriage relationships may go further. @ dimples
06
Marriage is an emotional relationship. To understand the management.
Even after marriage, both partners should still be responsible for their appearance. @Cat Kitten
No one is set in stone, but if you have changed, please let your partner grow with you and let her/him know about your changes.
Please plan your partner into the future. A man who has been talking for sixteen years, from first love to marriage to divorce. @Mike Little Girl
The most important thing in finding a partner is the other person's ability to solve problems, whether you can never treat each other as a problem, but to face the problem together. @Cat Kitten
Feelings need to be managed, and skills are not shameful. The pure strength of the purpose will make life full of fun. @starforyu
Don't be fooled by the word relying on those two words.
From the low point of human nature, no one fundamentally wants to cooperate with the weak. The sympathy and virginity mixed with temporary cooperation will eventually be consumed day after day. @Cat Xu
Build your temperament and economic situation well.
Allow yourself to marry appropriately later. @Cat Xu
07
Look at marriage rationally.
Preset, allow it to end.
Marriage is not a result, but a beginning. @Hara on the grass
No matter who you end up marrying, you may regret it.
You can believe in love forever, but don't believe that love will last forever. @Salsa
From the ages of 17 to 27, it took 1 second to make the decision to get married and 1 year to make the decision to divorce.
Don't choose to get married because of sunk costs, and don't be reluctant to let go because of sunk costs. @Fritters man
When we feel pain in a relationship, it is time to end the relationship, not end our own life. @Mrs. Mai fishing for the moon
08
"Child" will become a problem to consider,
But it is not an insoluble puzzle.
Your child is important, but first you have to take care of yourself. @
The child has his own life, and it is believed that he has the courage to break the influence of the original family and go to his own life. @ Little be careful
09
There is a series of preparations to be done before marriage -
Know who the TA is? What does TA want?
It is recommended that young girls do not easily marry early, let alone face control. @Wan'er
Emotionally unstable men absolutely cannot want it. Don't give them any chance. @Square C
Thinking through what you teach can't teach people to be human. @Willow Piaopiao
Adults, only choose, not educate. Don't try to change anyone. @Ben
Don't forgive a person's faults over and over again. @Khun
Before marriage, please talk about 2-3 relationships in depth and get to know men.
See clearly that a man pursues your purpose, that is, his own altruistic attributes, and if you find that you and him are not equal in value, and the gap is too large, please leave. @Cabbage Baby Winter
10
Know the family of TA.
Ten months from marriage to divorce.
If this boy listens to you very much, then think deeply: Does he listen to his mother more? @Prince
Look at the emotional relationship patterns of his parents in his native family, because he will soon be his father. @Anonymous
Married at 21 and divorced at 23. Young and early married and quickly sober.
Don't marry a family that provides less emotional value than the family of origin. The other half's parents have more character than the money in their pockets.
Also: don't feel like you can save the other person. @White Ding
The marriage experience shattered my fantasies. I didn't expect that getting married and having children was actually more about living with my mother-in-law. I married my mother-in-law. Then I divorced my mother-in-law. Then I married myself. @Double ponytail little cute
Marriages that rely on parents to help the poor will not work. @Anonymous
11
The highest priority is to know, who are you? What do you want?
Be cautious before marriage.
Don't think you've already sent wedding invitations. @Woohoo
Don't marry someone you don't love in order to complete your task and have a relaxed life after marriage. @JJ
Don't get married without taking measures because you're pregnant. @Vignigo
Marriage vows, if you can't really swear at that moment, don't get married. @Cat Kitten
There is no right or wrong in the marriage relationship, there is no win or loss, as far as the individual is concerned, it is definitely not an exchange of interests, but an exchange of human nature, morality, and trust.
If I have the next relationship, I will never use the comprehensive score to do multiple choice questions, I will only use values, worldview, and emotional views to judge the questions. @Bubu has no stars
12
Be wary of discomfort, but also of false happiness.
Trust your instincts, have bad feelings, and don't ignore it. @
Suppressing emotions doesn't apply to marriage, don't be the empathetic person, be the one who can express anger and disappointment well.
Learn to be an imperfect person, learn to be a real, human being. @Bo Food
Ending the marriage made me think that even marriage has a comfort zone, and happiness will develop inertia.
Even if the love marriage is beautiful, don't forget to connect with the world, otherwise once you lose your marriage, you will feel that your whole world has collapsed. @C2
13
It's not necessarily better after divorce, and it's not necessarily worse.
After the divorce, it is not necessarily better than before, the key is to rely on yourself. @Cabbage Baby Winter
The biggest feeling is the timely stop loss.
After the divorce, instead of being disappointed in love, I felt that I was really good, so I had the courage and energy to regain the qualifications for free love. @Toot Mom
It is not sustainable to expect all of your needs and all the support functions to be taken on by your partner.
After the divorce, I slowly entered a community life with my children, a group of people communicating, playing, taking a baby, and working together.
This experience made me understand the value of species diversity, and it is possible for everyone to live their own authentic lives while collaborating with people.
Now with a boyfriend, I will not be so obsessed with asking him to be the pillar of my emotions, the source of my sense of security, to eliminate my loneliness, to share the consequences of my personal choices, financial support, to cook for me, to divide the baby equally, to listen to my heart, to lead me spiritually... I don't have that big gaps in my life for someone else to fill.
Less entanglement, how to love each other, can expand more possibilities. @Lee is small
I ended my first marriage.
At that time, there was no ceremony, and he went on stage to speak a passage, from Liao Yimei's "Softness".
"It is said that good marriages inspire the good side of human nature, and bad marriages inspire the bad side of human nature.
I hope we are the former, but if it is the latter, it is nothing, who can always be so lucky, do not have to blame each other, do not admit mistakes, calculate what they have paid, and look for a better and more beneficial relationship for the growth of both parties.
Marriage is just one of all human relationships, no better than others, and no worse than others. "@Alcohol Mom
The population sample is so rich, love is still worth looking forward to. @wenz
Written by: Shanshan
Internship: Sauce Rain
Editor-in-Charge: Tintin
Vespers Hours:
We have a lot of decisions to make in our lives.
Do you want to be in love? Do you want to get married?
Do you want to have children? Do you want to end it?
Before making a decision,
I would like to share this sentence from the reader @beep meatballs:
"I can give all my love, but I can't give my life."