At the age of 56, Su Min made an important decision: to throw her husband out. And since then to the peak of life, not only to become the hottest self-driving tour blogger in the whole network, received luxury endorsement ads, and even appeared in the "New York Times".
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Live for yourself! Su Min's manifesto was simple and exciting.
Su Min's popularity is because the story of "middle-aged women running away from home" alludes to the call of this era for humanity, that is, to become yourself!
Before the age of 56, Su Min was just an ordinary "daughter, sister and wife". She was born in an ordinary family, has 3 younger brothers, did not go to college, grew up married and had children... It's no different than thousands of ordinary women.
The turning point in her life came at the age of 56. An age in middle age to old age.
That year, the youngest grandson was also in kindergarten. "It's always cold at home." Inspired by a travel blogger, she decided to go out for a walk, "I'm going to be depressed for a long time." ”
"The Awakening of Middle-aged and Elderly Women" and "The New Era Lives From My Model", the story of Su Min's 56-year-old running away from home, which is both warm and inspirational, has been unanimously sought after by the media.
Since then, Su Min has been on fire.
She appeared with the star in luxury advertising films, appeared in the New York Times, and was given labels such as "awakening", "feminism" and "freedom".
But "be yourself" is actually a very puzzling phrase. Because, I am myself, why do I have to "become"?
Some people call Su Min's life before the age of 56 "daughter, mother, wife", after the age of 56, Su Min ran away from home, and finally "became herself".
This statement is ridiculously superficial - before the age of 56, Su Min went to school, got married, had a daughter, worked, and brought grandchildren, and not a day was the life she wanted? Judging from the media reports, although her marriage is not very satisfactory, it is also her own choice after all:
"It is said that the media and Lao Du are close... Su Min is very determined, she just wants to start a new life quickly. ”
Su Min has been choosing her own life: she chose to become a responsible big sister, chose not to go to college, chose all kinds of jobs, chose her own marriage, chose to help her daughter with grandchildren... Later, although she felt that her husband was not so considerate, she still chose not to divorce herself on her own initiative - when was she not herself?
The so-called "becoming yourself" is not necessarily deviant, not necessarily shocking, but - to choose the life you want, to do what you want to do, to open the life story you want, and nothing more.
Su Min, 56, chose to travel alone, and just did one thing she wanted to do.
The word "only" did not mean to look down on Su Min. I know that it is indeed not easy to make this decision.
As a person in society, any choice we make, we must consider a question: what will others think of this? In particular, some people who are close to ourselves, their opinions and opinions, often influence our decisions.
"I didn't plan to get married, but for the sake of my family, I went on a blind date."
"I wanted to study archaeology, but my parents wanted me to be a doctor, and for the sake of my family, I had to go to medical school."
"I wanted to work abroad, but for the sake of my family, I gave up my intention to go abroad."
……
"For the sake of our families" often becomes the best reason for us to give up a relationship, a job, an opportunity. And therefore makes us feel that "we have not become ourselves".
But who will you be now? Is it a shadow of a parent or a family member? Aren't you still yourself?
Although this is not the life you want, in the end it is your own choice! You choose "for the sake of your family", you choose "wronged yourself", you choose a path that seems to avoid contradictions and conflicts, and that's it.
But it's still your own choice, it's still your own life, and you still need to take full responsibility for it – who is still complaining about what you haven't become yourself?
After 17 months of self-driving, Su Min, now 58 years old, is still on the road. She said in a recent interview: "Some processes are bound to be difficult, and if you want to live a life that you want to live, you must muster up the courage to break through some of the things that stand in your way." ”
In a word!
Courage is the most precious thing in life. With courage, you will find that the so-called "things that hinder you" are, in many cases, just the apparitions of your "self-righteousness."
#中年女性, what ##我眼中闪光的她 most desired #
About the Author
Rainbow Psychological Science Popularization: National second-level psychological counselor, member of The Chinese Mental Health Association, director of the Psychological Counseling Office of China Youth and chief psychological counselor. Psychological counseling specializes in areas: personal growth, marriage and family, parent-child education, emotional management. Illuminate life with psychological light, welcome to pay attention to the "Rainbow Psychological Science".