Poetry: Heavy snow presses the green pine, and the green pine is straight and straight. Know that the pine is high and clean, and stay until the snow melts.
The saints walk on the rivers and lakes, need to live a normal life, but also need to work to earn money. In work and life, it is inevitable to encounter various complex interpersonal relationships. If the saint lived in this day and age, how would he deal with complex social interpersonal relationships? Today, I will talk to you about this problem.
We know that saints are enlightened people who do not live in the heart. But before he became enlightened, his mind, like ordinary people, would always dwell involuntarily on various realms. The various interpersonal relationships in society are actually a kind of social realm. People in society, on the surface, are just simple individuals living on the surface of the earth, but in fact, they live in a huge network of social relations. Every individual in a network of relationships is involved and constrained by relationships from all directions. Therefore, as the saying goes, people in the rivers and lakes can't help themselves.
From birth, everyone gradually establishes their own network of interpersonal relationships in society. The first is the relationship between oneself and one's parents. The second is the relationship with brothers and sisters, relatives and friends. The second is the relationship with classmates, teachers, colleagues, and neighbors. The second is the relationship with the girlfriend. The second is the relationship with children and so on.
In all these relationships, family affection, friendship, love, and kindness are involved. For example, working with your own teachers and classmates, you will inevitably be a little unable to let go. After all, they are their own teachers and classmates, and they also have to talk about a little friendship between each other. It's not good to tear your face and fight for a little material gain. For example, getting along with the leaders of the unit, I always feel the need to take care of the face dignity of the leaders and so on. By extension, when getting along with anyone, it is inevitable that you will take care of various relationship problems. If the relationship is not smooth, the next career development will inevitably be hindered.
A saint is an enlightened person. When he encounters various complex social interpersonal relationships, what kind of methods will he use to deal with them?
The saints used three methods to deal with complex social interpersonal relationships, one is indisputable, the second is indifferent, and the third is to go with the flow. At the heart of these three methods is the inability to keep the mind. That is, to keep one's mind from dwelling on the aspect of social relations. Only in this way can we come and go freely and better exert our talents.
The so-called non-contention refers to not arguing with others in any relationship. For example, when looking for a job, do not compete with people for a certain position. If you have some kind of talent, then wait for the price to sell, waiting for others to invite you and hire yourself. Instead of shying, take the initiative to go to the door and ask others to hire themselves. When the saint achieves the indisputable realm, he will not be constrained and influenced by various relationships in his work, so that he can free his hands and feet and give full play to his talents.
The so-called indifference means that in any relationship, the mind does not dwell on anyone, that is, does not put anyone on their own hearts. Do things as they should be, and deal with relationships as they should be, but don't let anyone, thing, or thing enter your heart. Only in this way can we do things without any relationship concerns and better realize our potential.
For example, when you're with your girlfriend, you can eat, rest, do things, go shopping, and so on with her. However, don't take your girlfriend to your heart. In your heart, there is no girlfriend at all. You don't treat her as a hurried passer-by, nor as a pearl in your hand, nor as your only possession. In fact, she is just a stranger in your mind. Always maintain this bland and peaceful mentality in order to get along better with your girlfriend.
When she wants to be loved by you, you will be very kind to her because you cherish this fate. When she loses her temper with you, you will cherish this fate and not worry about her. When she carries you behind your back and other boys, you will not be too angry, but feel that the fate between you is over, and it is time to say goodbye. If you put her in your heart and think about her all day, over time, she will enter your subconscious. Once there is a crisis in your relationship, there will inevitably be all kinds of pain and trouble, and you will have to die and live. And usually there will be quarrels.
For example, when getting along with parents, there should be no parents in your heart. You just treat your parents like strangers. Because your parents raised you from an early age, you will often feel grateful in your heart. Therefore, in daily life, you will naturally care for and love your parents. When they roar at you, you don't get angry and resentful either. Because you are strangers. When you don't work all day and stay at home and eat old age, your parents get angry and angry, and you will stay at home without face. Because you are strangers, why should they feed you for nothing?
Other kinds of relationships can be handled with reference to the above examples. When people are not comfortable with relationships, they are better able to handle those relationships. And once people take these relationships seriously, they will be confused by the authorities and make a mess.
The so-called going with the flow is to face all life situations and all interests, always maintain a bland and indisputable mentality, and never put any relationship in their hearts. Being yourself is yourself, and others are others. Everything is arranged according to the wisdom of one's own heart. It feels like it can go on everywhere. If you can't feel like you can't do it, you can cut off contact. Not affected by any external things. When the relationship comes, I am not excited or nervous, and I do not take it to my heart. The relationship disappeared, and I did not cherish it or cherish it, because I never had any relationship in my heart.
People often have the illusion that if you don't take a relationship to heart, it's not taking it seriously. In fact, this is an instinctive illusion of people. If you don't take the relationship to heart, will the relationship disappear? Of course not. Relationships are relationships and you are you. When you get along with your child, even if you don't have a child in your heart, isn't the child yours? Don't you just leave your children alone? Of course not. If you don't have a relationship in your heart, you won't have a love-hate relationship with it. You will face the relationship with an objective and bland mentality, so that you can better handle the relationship.
In fact, in a person's life, all relationships are secondary auxiliary. Yourself is the main thing. If you're unhappy, then all your relationships will be unhappy. If you're tired of all relationships, then all relationships will leave you. You should neither hate relationships nor be nostalgic. You don't need to care about any relationships at all. You don't even have yourself in your heart. Then your heart will be at peace and your qi will be smooth. You live a transparent and free life.