Preface
Mencius was born at an inopportune time and was born in the Warring States period. The "benevolent government" he advocated was obviously against the current and difficult to meet the needs of the princes and kings of various countries at that time in the political situation of the law of the jungle and militarism at that time.
None of this, however, could stop Mencius's success. He became a famous ancient sage in China after Confucius. For thousands of years, it has been praised by the people of the country.
No one's success is casual, and neither is Mencius. A large factor in Mencius's success is due to his mother, Meng Mu.
According to the evaluation of the history books, Meng Mu is a model of all mothers. The well-known "Mengmu Three Migrations" and the "Son Does Not Learn, Breaks the Machine" in the "Three Character Classic" are all about Mencius's meticulous education of Him when he was young.
What this article wants to share with you is how Meng Mu solved Mencius's marriage crisis after becoming a family.
One
Original
Mencius, having married, will enter the private room, and his wife will be included, and Mencius will not be pleased, so he will not enter. The woman resigned from her mother and begged to go, saying: "Concubines hear the way of husband and wife, and the private room does not cooperate with each other." Now the concubines are in the room, and the master is displeased when he sees the concubines, and he is a concubine. The righteousness of a woman is not a guest. Please go to your parents. So Meng Mu summoned Mencius and said: "Fu Li, will start, ask who is alive, so pay tribute." He will go to the church, and his voice will be raised, so he will abstain from man. Will enter the house, see will go down, afraid to see people pass by. Imiko does not perceive etiquette, but blames people, not far away! "Mencius thanked him, and left his wife behind." A gentleman is said to be a mother who knows the etiquette, and knows the way of the aunt.
- "The Legend of the Daughters of The Column"
Translations
After Mencius married his wife, once, just entering the inner chamber, his wife was naked in the room. Mencius was not happy, so he left and did not go in. His wife bid farewell to Mencius's mother and asked to leave, saying, "I have heard that the rules between husband and wife can be disobeyed in the cave house. Now I'm lazy in the bedroom, and my husband is furious when he sees me, and he treats me like a guest. The rules of being a woman, there are not living in other people's homes. Please let me go back to my parents' house. Meng Mu then summoned Mencius and said to him: "Etiquette says that when you are going to enter the gate, you must ask who is inside, which is a sign of respect; when you are going to enter the hall, the voice must be loud, which means that you have informed the people; when you are going to enter the house, your eyes must look down, indicating that you are worried about the embarrassing time when you bump into someone." Isn't it too far off [as a saint] to blame others for not following the etiquette now? Mencius then apologized and kept his wife. The gentleman said: "Meng Mu knows etiquette, and she knows the way her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along." ”
Two
According to historical records, because Mencius's wife was relatively strong, Mencius was not very satisfied with her originally. Thus happened a history of marital crisis in the Biography of the Daughters of the Column:
When Mencius entered the inner room, he saw his wife's disheveled appearance due to the hot weather, and felt that her dress was not in accordance with etiquette. So he no longer had sex with his wife.
Later, Mencius's wife went to her mother-in-law, Meng Mu, to evaluate.
As a result, Meng Mu called Mencius to him and criticized him. Mencius lost his father when he was three years old, and Meng's mother cultivated Mencius with hard work and hardship, and it is conceivable that his mother and son have a deep affection. Mencius also paid great respect to his mother.
However, instead of protecting her son, Meng Mu criticized him: before entering the gate, she should first ask who was inside, which was a sign of respect; when entering the hall, she should be louder to inform others; when entering the inner room, her eyes should look up to the ground to prevent bumping into people's embarrassing times. And now, if you don't observe etiquette before you enter the inner chamber, and enter without informing your wife, how can you blame your wife for not observing etiquette first? Isn't this way of doing things too far from the standards of the sages?
After mencius listened, he reflected on his own behavior, and finally apologized to his wife and saved the friendship between them.
Look at the past and think about the present
As a mother, it is not easy to carefully cultivate, care for, and correctly lead the growth of a child when he is young. It is not easy to give the correct guidance at important decision-making points after the child has a family!
In the marriage contradiction of her son, as a widow Meng Mother, she still teaches and criticizes her son's faults without bias, and in the process of marriage management, she must learn to be tolerant, and everything should be introspective first, and should not blame others.
Secondly, as a mother-in-law, Meng Mu did not arbitrarily accuse her daughter-in-law because she loved her son, but instead thought with empathy and stood in the perspective of her daughter-in-law, persuaded her to make peace, and promoted the harmony between Mencius and his wife, perfectly resolving Mencius's marriage crisis. As an old saying goes, "There is an old treasure in a home." ”
Meng Mu grew up with her son and was a good mother. Meng Mu is the backbone of the new family, bringing harmony and hope to the family.
Receiving this woman is the blessing of children and grandchildren, the blessing of the family, and the blessing of the community.
References: Biography of The Daughters of Lie, Liu Xiang
Thank you for your attention, praise, time to read, with you to see the past and the present, share life.