This paper won the third prize in the short story category of the third "Volunteer Literature" essay contest jointly organized by the Central Committee of the Communist Youth League and the Chinese Writers Association.
It was the second year of high school, and in the winter, Teacher Tang, who was acting as an English speaker, fell ill and was hospitalized. Halfway through the semester, classes cannot be left behind. The school said to ask us a volunteer teacher from outside, and we looked forward anxiously.
In the morning, it was cold and a thin layer of frost was formed on the ground on the campus on the outskirts of the city. When they heard that the new teacher was coming, everyone was overjoyed. After the first bell rang, we were already sitting neatly in the classroom, or turning our heads and ears, or secretly guessing what the English teacher looked like.
Suddenly, outside the classroom, there was the sound of crutches touching the ground, and then an elderly young man came from far and near outside the door, no! A disabled person, to be precise — is a cripple! Wouldn't you go to the wrong place? He stood quietly in the doorway, thin and pale, with a pair of crutches under his armpits and one leg hunched softly.
sky! Is this the temporary substitute teacher that the school has asked us to have? Come and teach us English? Several students let out a low booing laugh. Seeing our eyes brushing against him, he seemed a little hesitant. With a whisker, he pursed his lips, his head high, his chest straight, and calmly walked up to the podium with a crutch.
“Stand up!” (Stand up) The squad leader shouted.
Supported by his crutches, he tried his best to stand up straight, looked at us and said, "Good morning!" Everyone!” hey! His pronunciation is pretty good.
“Good morning!teacher!” We answered.
“Sit down,please.” When the students sat down, he continued, "Nice to meet you, I'm substituting for teacher Tang, So let's work hard together." (It's a pleasure to meet you, I'll temporarily replace Teacher Tang and let's work together to learn) He spoke at a moderate and fluent, clear and accurate, and the classroom quickly became quiet.
“My name is Shi Mo.” He took the cane in his left hand, picked up the chalk in his right hand, turned around and wrote the word "Shi Mo" on the blackboard, with extremely strong strokes, and then said:
"In this lesson we started studying Footprints, or FOOTPRINT, and now I'm going to read the text. However, he did not read the book, but recited the text fluently. The students listened quietly, and their eyes showed admiration for him.
Unfortunately, my English was so poor at the time that I could hardly understand it except for a few simple sentences. Only a passage from Robinson Crusoe is known. I've read that novel earlier. I was late in learning English, had a poor foundation, and wasn't very interested. Of all the courses, English was the only one that held me back, and I tried to make up for it with the strengths of several other subjects, so I didn't work much on English. At this time, seeing that this new teacher spoke well, and the students listened with great enthusiasm, I could only sigh with joy.
I didn't understand, I was bored sitting, and I didn't want to waste time, so I secretly observed the teacher while reading other books. Although he has a leg disability, he almost stands and speaks, and only occasionally sits down to rest. The bridge of his nose is straight, the eyes under his thick eyebrows are gentle and calm, and there are white and neat teeth in his very angular lips. Hey, just look at the face is really a handsome guy. When it came to the second class, he stopped halfway to ask questions to the students. I was afraid to ask, trying to avoid his eyes, but I touched his sweeping gaze.
"Wang Xiaochuan." He called.
Finished. I said in my heart, close your eyes and stand up slowly. He asked questions in English, but I didn't know what to ask, so I had to say stupidly, "Sorry, sorry, sorry."
The classmates snickered, and I couldn't help but grin and make a strange appearance. Teacher Shi didn't understand what was going on and thought I was deliberately making trouble. I looked at me and my classmates awkwardly and blushed. Then he came to me with a crutch "tuk tuk". He saw that my English books were closed intact, but when he opened them, they looked at other books. He seemed to understand, and stared at me angrily: "The mind is not in the classroom, why don't you go to class?" ”
"Listen—no—understand—" I tilted my head and elongated three words.
The corners of his mouth twitched, he didn't say anything, and then quickly returned to the podium, gasping for breath, and said aloud in English:
“A slow bird should make an early start!（笨鸟先飞）Please follow me.” （请跟我学）
However, I didn't understand what he meant, so I sat down in a cacophony of laughter.
When the class was over, he walked away on crutches, I asked the same table stone teacher the meaning of the English sentence, the same table translated as the teacher said that I am a stupid bird, self-esteem is very strong, I was so angry that I screamed, immediately wanted to catch up with him to theorize, but finally pressed it, and said indignantly: "Hum! Walk and see, you will know me! ”
The next day, it was my day on duty. Next morning reading, the first lesson is English class. When cleaning the classroom, I was a little careless. Looking at the cold weather, remembering the shameful laughter he suffered in the last class, he couldn't lift his spirits at all. Sweeping the floor and wiping the blackboard, I picked up the kettle and sprinkled the rest of the water messenger outside the classroom door. Three or nine days, it is the cold season, and the water will soon congeal into ice. It is not supposed to sprinkle water on the aisles at will, and able-bodied people can walk carefully, but for a person with a leg disability, it undoubtedly increases the difficulty. I wanted to turn around and take the mop to rub the water stains, but I thought that the next English class was not interested, so I dismissed this idea.
Prepare the bell to break through the cold air and start class.
The students sat in the classroom as usual and waited. Soon, a "tuk tuk" sound of crutches touching the ground came from near and far. I pricked up my ears and sat nervously, waiting to see the embarrassment of the English teacher. But somehow, the beating heart was both nervous and afraid. For a moment, I wanted to give up this temporary little premeditation, make up for the negligence of the duty, and take the initiative to go outside the classroom to meet the English teacher. However, when my mind was in a fierce struggle, right in front of the classroom door, he, Teacher Shi, fell. Hear the crisp "Whoops-snap!" When the sound came, my blood seemed to be stagnant. The students stood up and ran out in surprise.
I sneaked half my head out of the window: Ah! Teacher Shi fell really badly, he slipped down, his ass was on the ground, and his crutches fell to the side. He snorted, then gritted his teeth and straightened his upper body, and several classmates with sharp hands and feet picked him up. I didn't dare look at him again and hurried back.
"Hurry back to the classroom!" Students, get ready for class. ”
"Teacher, you must have fallen." The students said in tongues.
"Huh? How can there be ice on the ground? Who spilled the water here? The attentive squad leader suddenly shouted, "How did the day student on duty do it?" ”
My heart was suddenly on my throat.
"It's all right. Don't pursue it. Let's go to class! Classes matter. Teacher Shi said urgently, on crutches, and walked up to the podium under the protection of his classmates. He glanced at the classroom, didn't care about the class leader's questions, and didn't suspect any of the students.
"I accidentally slipped on an ice just now, which delayed everyone's time." He laughed self-deprecatingly, which also attracted everyone's laughter, which alleviated the tense and awkward atmosphere.
Classes have begun. I pretended to be indifferent, but I did not dare to face Teacher Shi standing on the podium. At first glance, he was sure to notice me, probably suspicious of mine. But when I occasionally caught a glimpse of Teacher Shi, he was calm as usual, proceeding step by step, as if nothing had happened, and he was seriously lecturing without emotion. He regarded class time as so precious, so solemn, so sacred. Throw in as much as if you hadn't been disturbed at all.
I suddenly felt great shame, propped up my heavy head, and huddled in my seat like a criminal, although no one noticed my original actions and seized my evidence. If Teacher Shi came down to investigate, I would honestly admit it. My head was jumbled with thoughts, and I was tormented by every minute and second.
Finally heard the bell at the end of class, the students stood up one after another to say goodbye to the teacher, I woke up like a dream, and the English class was finished as usual.
Watching Teacher Shi gradually walk away on crutches, my trembling heart shed tears of remorse, falling into irreproachable self-blame, and my chest seemed to be pressed against a heavy stone.
For several days in a row, the wind and waves were calm. The class teacher did not investigate deeply. But I think the old class looks at me with a strange look. I also heard another class cadre vaguely say that it seemed that Teacher Shi did not agree to pursue the matter of wrestling.
Teacher Shi went to class every day as usual, and my heart became more and more uneasy.
In my mind, I always think of the scene after Teacher Shi fell. Go and admit it, how Teacher Ren Shi punished, even scolding is better than this kind of mental torture.
A few days later, on a cold and quiet snowy night, after repeated hesitations, I finally plucked up enough courage to decide to confess my mistake to Teacher Shi.
The snow drifted silently on the roads, on the trees, on the houses. I greeted the snowflakes and walked slowly toward Teacher Shi's dormitory.
The lights were lit up in his room, and the figure of a book was projected in front of the window. He was preparing for class, and from a distance, I stopped, suddenly did not want to disturb him, how focused he was at work. After a while the familiar shadow got up and paced the room on crutches, reading English in his mouth, and after a while, he sat down at the table, and continued to prepare for the lesson, how cold was it, did he have a stove in his house? It had been a few days since then, and everything was calm, and he didn't pursue the cause of the wrestling, didn't look for anyone, and didn't look for me, which meant that he didn't suspect me at all. Maybe he was all about teaching, and he didn't care about these small things.
Thinking of my Own English, I am very ashamed, there are such a good teacher to teach, tutor, why not study hard, why not work hard to study it? What a coward. Gazing at the soft light of The Stone Teacher's window in the silent cold night, and the butterfly-like snowflakes fluttering in the light, my cheeks were hot and my heart was hot. I said in my heart, Teacher, I confessed to you that I was wrong. Please forgive the narrow ignorance of the students. However, instead of coming to you to confess, it is better to make up your mind to learn English well.
Pondering, I bowed to Teacher Shi's figure, and when I withdrew my gaze and turned to walk, I realized that I had been standing in front of the window for a long time, my legs and feet were a little stiff, and a thick layer of snow had fallen on my hair and clothes.
I began to learn English with my heart, to conquer it like an enemy, and to meet and care for it like a friend. Desperately memorizing words, memorizing texts, squeezing out all the available time, even fragmentary gaps, to learn. My knowledge and use of English have gradually improved, and my homework has been continuously praised by teachers.
Once, in class, Mr. Shi asked a question, and I bravely raised my hand and spoke it fluently. Teacher Shi looked at me with a slight surprise, and his eyes showed a hint of relief. After class, he called me to my dorm room, and I began to feel a little confused, he motioned for me to sit down and said to me gently:
"Xiao Chuan, your progress is very fast."
"It's still far off." I whispered.
"Don't be afraid of gaps, as long as you catch up, there is hope." He took my hand and said. "Don't get discouraged, you have to have faith and perseverance."
I nodded. Feeling teacher Shi's hand holding me so strongly, looking at his disabled left leg and his resolute look, I asked, "Teacher Shi, how did you learn foreign languages?"
"Me?" Teacher Shi smiled and said lightly, "Self-taught." ”
Self-taught?! I repeated in my mind, my eyes falling on the smooth handle of his smooth crutch.
"I had a bad attitude towards you in class that day, and I blamed me for not knowing your previous studies." Teacher Shi was silent for a while, looked at me calmly and said.
"No! It was my fault. I shouldn't..." I stuttered and almost tried to say that cone thing.
"Let what has passed pass by." Teacher Shi smiled relievedly and took out a large English-Chinese dictionary and said. "This is what I used when I was teaching myself. I now have two copies, and this one is for you. ”
"Teacher..."
"Don't just look at the teacher." He looked at me affectionately, "Make me a friend, okay?" ”
"Teacher—I—"
"It's good for you to learn, hold." Teacher Shi handed it to me, and I caught it with both hands. When Teacher Shi sent me out, he said, "If there are any difficulties in studying, even if you come to me, don't worry about it." ”
Holding a heavy trust and encouragement, walking in the cold wind, I actually felt warm.
Time passed quickly, and Teacher Shi had been giving us substitute classes for almost three months.
In addition to classes, English has two morning readings and one evening self-study session per week. Teacher Shi tried to minimize the number of times he walked around the classroom on crutches so as not to distract us. Early reading, Teacher Shi either stood quietly on the side of the classroom to listen to us read, or sampled the recitation in the aisle. In the evening self-study, he sat at the back of the classroom, asking students to ask questions and patiently answering our questions. In fact, he paid attention to every student, and in a short period of time, he actually remembered the names of all the students.
At the end of the tests that day, we went to the playground to relax. However, I accidentally found Teacher Shi standing on the edge of the playground on crutches watching us play football. The ball rolled to his side, and a student shouted, "Kick it!" ”
But how could Teacher Shi kick it? Brain damage! I complained about the classmate in my heart, flew over to pick up the ball, almost to the front, Teacher Shi used crutches to pull the football towards me, I picked up the ball and turned around to see him smile at me, how sorry and sad that smile was! If his legs and feet are healthy, he may be a sports enthusiast, why is he so afraid and helpless.
Mr. Shi has been watching us play football from the sidelines, scoring goals, he also applauded, the expression on his face changed with the rhythm of the game, and sometimes he wanted to leave his crutches and run into the green field to join our team. After the final scene, I did not rush to go, Caught up with Teacher Shi, who was reluctant to leave, and accompanied him silently through the playground, through the teaching building, all the way to his dormitory.
On the way, I tried several times to explain the truth about the day that made him slip and apologize to him. Teacher Ke Shi only talked about learning, asked me about the situation of preparation, class, and homework, and cleverly diverged from that sensitive topic. I think that I am afraid that Teacher Shi already knows the details in his heart, but he does not want me or others to uncover this embarrassing secret scar, which is out of his tolerance and kindness.
Watching him slowly ascend the steps, when I entered the house, my eyes froze, thinking of the scene of him coming in and out of the classroom when he came to give us classes every day, thinking of the steps that hindered him from going up and down... Our classroom foundation is higher, there are three steps from the ground to the corridor, perhaps it is usually careless, how to find that these steps have a great impact on Teacher Shi's entry and exit, so that he is on crutches every time up and down is more difficult.
New Year's Day is approaching, according to the custom, we will hold a farewell party to welcome the new, and we will also invite substitute teachers to participate in the party.
After the English class on the weekend, after the teachers and students exchanged "goodbyes", I caught up with Mr. Shi to ask a reading comprehension question. He explained it to me carefully, and expanded it according to the original text until I fully understood it.
"Thank you teacher, you have delayed your time." I bowed to him.
"You're welcome." He tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Learning a foreign language is expensive in habit and persistence." After taking a few steps, he said to me again: "Work hard and strive to be admitted to the ideal university next year." ”
My heart was warm, and I followed a few steps and said sincerely, "I hope the teacher will attend our party next Monday."
Teacher Shi turned around, put his hands on his crutches, stared at the teaching building and nodded.
Back to the classroom, packed my school bag, and I planned to go home. Pushing the cart out of the school gate, like a caged bird galloping up, the street tree retreated rapidly, surpassing many cyclists. Halfway met a figure driving slightly slower, his left foot stepped on the half-circle pedal, and the dangling right foot stepped on the other side pedal in time, and the two feet were very tacit. In the instant, I caught a glimpse of Teacher Shi's familiar face. He has a leg disability and is riding a bicycle! Ben had already soared out a hundred meters away, and I folded back again, called Teacher Shi, and rode close to him. Teacher Shi's forehead was steaming hot, and he was very happy to see me. He had a duffel bag tied to the back seat, a bag hanging from his handlebars, and two canes tied to the girder under the car seat. Ask him where he's going? Teacher Shi said he was going home. I said teacher, you are really not simple, you can ride a bicycle. He said you can't think of it, I will ride when I go to junior high school. We walked side by side, talking happily, and in a moment we reached the intersection on the edge of the city. I want to go into the city, Teacher Shi said that he was going back to the Jiuye Jiansi family area on the other side of the river.
"See you next Monday!" I waved at Teacher Shi.
"Next week—" Teacher Shi paused, his eyes seemed to flash with crystals and said, "Goodbye!" ”
When he came home on the weekend, why did he still carry a big bag and a small bag? I muttered in my heart, watching Teacher Shi bow his head and bow his back, his shoulders high and low, pedaling a little laboriously, riding along the gentle slope up the Han River Bridge, disappearing into a sunset oblique light, the first light of the snow in the colorful sunset.
On Sunday afternoon, our boarding students returned to school. After playing basketball in the playground for a while, remembering the steps that hindered Mr. Shi's entry and exit, I suddenly had an idea in my heart.
The next night for self-study, I pulled the same table and quietly went to do a "project".
We found a newly started building site in the backyard of the school and explained our intentions to the material manager. The master was very happy to understand, lent a trolley, and helped to load the brick sand. The two of us pushed the cart to the steps outside the classroom door, first measured the size, then laid the tiles layer by layer, built a slope, and then repeatedly stepped on the solid, and tried up and down several times. Then he moved to The front of Teacher Shi's dormitory, and built a ramp as he did. On a cold day, we actually sweated a little because of the force, but we didn't feel tired at all.
After finishing work, sit on the steps and look up at the vast and deep night sky. The countless stars scattered from overhead to the sky are either bright or dark, as if they are magical fruits on the cosmic tree, setting up a beautiful and magnificent background for the sleeping earth creatures. The Qinling Mountains in the distance and the Han River outside the playground, as well as the shadowy trees and houses, are immersed in the gentle night. Looking at the paved ramp, we are happy in our hearts, and it will be much easier for Teacher Shi to enter and exit the classroom in the future.
On Monday, as I sat in the classroom with my classmates, quietly waiting for the characteristic, familiar sound of the cane touching the ground to come from near and far, I didn't wait for Mr. Shi to come in with a smile on his face, and I couldn't see him walking easily through the newly built slope under the steps. We wondered, why didn't Teacher Shi come to class?
That night, the New Year's Day party was held as usual. Many substitute teachers were invited to come, and everyone gathered together to perform a show to celebrate the arrival of the New Year, however, there was still no sign of Teacher Shi. Originally, I prepared a beautiful New Year card and planned to give it to Teacher Shi by hand.
In the middle of the party, borrowing the space of the toilet, I quietly went to Teacher Shi's dormitory, but his room did not see the light, quiet. After the party, I stopped by Teacher Shi's residence with my classmates, and after careful observation, the dormitory was still dark and silent.
Silence all around. Looking up, I suddenly saw a meteor dragging a dazzling flame across the sky dome, rubbing against the nebula that passed by, and disappearing into the boundless distance. The night is deep and the people are scattered. Teacher, where are you?
The next day, I couldn't help but inquire about the Academic Affairs Office. Only then did he know that the contract made between Mr. Shi and the school had expired, that the class he had taught on his behalf had been completed, and that he had actually left with us on the weekend, that is, the day he rode home.
During his senior year internship, Li from his hometown of Chuanxi conducted an educational survey in Aba Tibetan and Qiang Autonomous Prefecture and said that he met a male teacher on crutches who had gone from the interior to support teaching. The situation he described reminded me of a person, so he asked Classmate Li to take a picture and send it to me. Later, he passed over two photos, and I saw: in the background of the rolling snowy mountains, on the simple dirt playground with the national flag, the statue-like teacher Shi Mo stood on crutches, emaciated, his hair was blown messily by the wind, his face was vicissitudes, and his eyes were calm and gentle. Another photo is of him with a dozen students at the school and the only female Qiang teacher in service, dressed plainly and with happy smiles on their blushing faces. Just about to ask, Li continued to add: All he took was a picture on the wall of the school in a remote mountain village, in a recent mudslide, in order to save a tibetan boy who came home from school, Teacher Shi was unfortunately killed...
It was the autumn of that year, and I walked into the ranks of teachers with a variety of employment options.
Image source: Network
Design made @ Pippi
About the Author
Wang Liqun, pen name Wen Ruobai, is a teacher and a member of the Shaanxi Provincial Writers Association, whose novels, essays, and poems have appeared in newspapers, magazines, and online literary platforms. His works have been selected into a variety of texts, including the novel collection "The Great River Rushing", the prose collection "Treasure a Period of Time", and the poetry collection "There is Love With It".
Excerpt from: Literature Shaanxi Army, copyright belongs to the author.