Wen | Shuping
A few days ago, the scientific magazine "Lancet" published an article, on the occasion of International Women's Day in 2022, encouraging everyone to gather together "Lancet Female Power" to share the small stories of female scientific research and clinical workers around them, a photo, a small thing or a few warm words. This is also a revelation for most ordinary women, bravely telling our stories, and drawing more female strength in mutual communication and motivation.
Life is not easy, but you can be cute
Blowing noodles do not chill the willow wind, the spring on the shore of Daming Lake has arrived. The Southern Song Dynasty Chen Yuanliang's "Chronicle of the Ages" once mentioned: On spring days, spring cakes, lettuce, and spring plates are eaten. "Spring water, willows, a plate of spring colors." Roll food a mouthful of spring, very cute.
I remember when I was a child, every spring, after a wet spring rain, my grandmother would fry us a large plate of golden and fragrant spring rolls, and bite down, crisp and crisp, lips and teeth left fragrant. Up to now, my daughter always asks me to tell stories about my childhood, and most of the stories I can remember are related to eating. Probably for children, eating is always the best memory.
Unfortunately, when I came to this place, the craft of frying spring rolls was almost completely lost. But lost the east corner, harvested mulberry elm, I married to the north, slowly learned to make dumplings, when the spring arrived, fresh cabbage down, it is inevitable to happily wrap a delicious cabbage dumplings, so that children can eat satisfactorily. This will probably become a good memory of my children.
But people's pursuits are always different, the first two days is the birthday of our friend Hongli, we three or five friends together to eat Western food, bought her Haagen-Dazs cake, and a large bouquet of flowers. When blowing out the candles, everyone wishes her to become a "rich woman of Fanglin" as soon as possible, and I wonder what is "rich wife of Fanglin"? Oh, and I suddenly realized that this blessing is really up to date.
This is Hongli's 30th birthday, and to be honest, I would like to wish her the ideal other half as soon as possible. Hongli is a college counselor, young and beautiful, gentle and generous personality, I can't imagine, how is her emotional story always twisted and turned? It's like there's a strange circle where the person she likes is married, and she can't look at her, high or low, and she can't meet the right other half for a long time.
Just in the movie theater, the famous screenwriter Yuji Sakamoto's movie "Bouquet of Love", the heartwarming love, as if it turned around, disappeared. Hongli said, "As long as I have money, I buy a house alone, travel alone, and watch movies alone, which is also very good!" It's just that she can't pass her parents' level anyway, and her parents say, "You don't watch the news?" Are you still traveling and going to the movies alone? If you find someone to start a family, we don't have to worry about you all the time..." Who doesn't want to, but there is no suitable ah, Hongli is also distressed."
How to say this "fit", it's a bit like the Elf Ball in Harry Potter, and it's hard to catch up with it without riding a magical broom. In fact it is a psychological expectation of us, and most of the time, "we are struggling with our true inner selves and the personas I should be shaping." There is nothing wrong with being a happy single "rich neighbor", but don't easily give up your attempts at love and marriage.
I like the words of a netizen, "This world is annoying, but you can be cute". This spring, the disputes and noises in the external world are capricious, and some people are prone to frustration, full of anxiety and doubt about love and marriage, but you can be very cute, you can treat the people around you like carefully with spring food, clothes, flowers, treat the people around you, and live every day well, then, we will find that the original is not so bad.
We can still pursue good feelings, we can still eat well, eat three meals for four seasons, bring beautiful moments to ourselves, to our children, to our friends, just like the spring sunshine, every day is new.
Create a wonderful home with your own hands
So, finding the right him and entering the ideal marriage is once and for all? The famous director Zhong Menghong once said: "Life, like making a movie, has to go through a very painful process. Just like when you eat fish, your mouth is full of fish with thorns, the fish is delicious, but the thorns will make you very painful. ”
This metaphor is not so beautiful, but it is impossible to refute. When you are in love, your eyes look at each other, and you may still bubble pink; but entering a marriage, especially a middle-aged marriage, is really like eating a fish with thorns, the taste is there, but the sting is also indispensable.
The next little story was paraphrased by a friend of mine. The hostess Li Shuang and her husband Xu Fu started a business together, doing cultural creation, the scale is not large, but it is also a little famous. After Li Shuang gave birth to a child, she took the child at home. When the child was young, he was fine, eating, drinking and playing to satisfy him, but last year, her son did not even get into high school. Coupled with the decline in Xu Fu's business in the past two years, the order received has a stubble without a stubble, green and yellow, and Xu Fu, who has lost a smiley face when he is outside, returns home, don't say a smiley face, not even a good word.
"Is it my fault?" Li Shuang was extremely aggrieved, was the child's education a matter for her alone? On the other hand, Xu Fu's chagrin in her heart is not less than her, the child's education has not kept up, what to do in the future? Before the change, he would definitely accompany her to find a way, but at the moment, his company is also in danger, how do you let him have the strength to take care of others?
"Then let's change it!" You tutor the kids at home, I go to the company!" Li Shuang said. Xu Fu was also gambling, "Good, change it!" Every day, Li Shuang went to the company early, and Xu Fu cooked at home and tutored his son. Reluctantly insisted on it for a month, Xu Fu couldn't hold on: "Wife, you are not easy..."
Later, of course, we also tried to figure out a way together. The little guy went to re-study and live in school, and Li Shuang returned to the workplace. The company's crisis is still there, but Xu Fu has changed a lot, and together with his employees, roll up his sleeves to move goods and deliver goods, Li Shuang went all out to do creative ideas with designers. Every time my friends saw her, she was full of energy and energy. Li Shuang said: "Those years of idleness at home were like dreams, every day I only knew how to surf the Internet, chase dramas, buy things, and see my husband's face... Now I know that in fact, women are the main backbone of the family, you are strong, you have a smile on your face, and there is laughter at home!"
Li Shuang's story reminds me of a very interesting column made by fashion blogger Li Beka - "The Home of 100 Chinese Girls", not so much that under the lens of Li Beka, every home that is photographed is full of personality and charm, very diverse, diverse, colorful, rather, it is the life story of the hostess behind the lens that deeply attracts us, they include female writers, fashion illustrators, fashion designers, Tsinghua graduate architects, investment bank girls, and ordinary housewives, but without exception, they are all active, Optimistic, brave, tenacious, full of wisdom, with a spring-like smile on his face forever!
Middle-aged women are a very unique group, they have little time to talk about poetry and far away, but this does not mean that they live in the spiritual desert, on the contrary, they are more powerful than any other time, sparkling, not only shining on themselves, but also warming all the people around them.
Days are precious, live every day conscientiously
The third short story is related to an unforgettable old lady in red. It was a weekend, the magnolia flowers on campus were blooming just right, I was playing with my friends with our children, and I saw a bunch of old men and old ladies sitting opposite her. She wears a fashionable white rhinestone-encrusted soft hat and a big red wool coat with a rosy face and a hearty laugh.
Across a path, I still clearly heard her cheerfully say: "You all say that I love to dress up and love to be pretty, how many years can I be beautiful at my age?" For me, life is more expensive than anything else, and every day can't I dress up beautifully and live happily?" Everyone laughed.
She also said: "The young couple is always a companion, the wife is also very expensive, don't be angry with him, don't make him unhappy!" In the spring, when the flowers were blooming, I went out with him for a walk and admired the flowers. A few years ago, my wife and I went to Tibet in March and April, and the peach blossoms in Nyingchi were old and beautiful, and I was sitting under the peach blossom tree, and my wife photographed me like a fairy!" My friend and I were also amused, imagining how festive it was to see an old fairy with white hair.
After a pause, she sighed and said: "After my wife is gone, I can't go out to see the peach blossoms, but as soon as the flowers at the door of the house bloom, I still come to see as usual, magnolias, peach blossoms, cherry blossoms, after a while the roses and peonies are open, lively, but people like it!" Man, if you don't even like to see flowers, what strength do you have to live?"
"Yes, yes," everyone echoed her, somewhat trying to comfort her, but the old lady in red was still smiling and calm, as if it was just someone else's story, and when the story was over, she raised her hand to look at her watch and said: "Flowers have also been seen, and old friends have also talked about the day, and they have been basking in the sun all morning, and they are energetic, it is time to buy some fresh vegetables and make some food!" Saying that, she got up to buy vegetables, and the two old ladies in gray and cotton clothes around her also quickly followed her, and she walked in the middle, tall, and calmly walked past us like a queen.
After a long time, my friend and I came back to God, and we all felt that when we were old and could live such an elegant, beautiful, and open-minded life, I was afraid that we would have to cultivate well. So, let's start at this moment? Put down your mobile phone, go to the vegetable market to buy some fresh vegetables in the spring, cabbage, ear vegetables, lettuce, fresh bamboo shoots, make every meal well, the days are golden, we are also very expensive, to eat well, to be happy to live every day.
The inner world is a bright and splendid person, and the old man is only the shell. The beautiful light of spring gives them a pearl-like beauty that has been tempered by the years with a long-lasting beauty, which is particularly moving. If you record it, each of their stories is probably a thick book, right? Full of healing power...
Spring and Jingming, may every woman shine, live a golden life, live beautifully!