Love at first sight, goodbye marriage, this is not a joke between adults.
In real life, there is a group that is always surrounded, discussed, and "forced to marry" by anxious family members, enthusiastic masses, and public opinion, and this group is called older unmarried youth.
Some of them are lucky, really "love at first sight" met a lifelong love, of course, some are forced to marry hastily under pressure.
So, what is the outcome of the marriage of the latter "hastily" married? Did the person who chose "Express" end up being happy? Today we will take a peek through a real case.
01, suddenly like a night of love?
Our hero today is named Xiao Ming, 30 years old, and he is in the year of his establishment.
According to common sense, 30-year-old men in the city's marriage system, that is, in a completely "no hurry" age group, "can be up and down", the choice is very large.
But Xiao Ming was born in the countryside, in general, the countryside is generally married early, and when he is not married at this age, he is very "prominent".
In his hometown, 30-year-olds who are not married, both men and women, have long become unmarried "over-aged" youth.
However, in recent years, the imbalance between men and women has been a bit serious, and 30-year-old women are still very popular, so only older young men are left to live a difficult life.
Xiao Ming has not found a suitable partner to marry and has a certain relationship with his family situation. His family is an ordinary peasant family, his parents work in agriculture, and they work casually in their spare time, and the family income is limited.
But now in the countryside to get married, some local women have high requirements for economic conditions, hundreds of thousands of dowries at every turn, and also have houses and cars for transportation, which is unsatisfactory for Xiao Ming's family.
Xiao Ming had also had several girlfriends before, and had kissed each other several times in succession, but when it came to the house, car and huge dowry needed for marriage, they all stopped.
In this regard, Xiao Ming's parents felt both sad and helpless. Xiao Ming always comforted his parents and said, "I am still young, I will marry my daughter-in-law." ”
But the days passed like this, and xiao Ming reached the age of 30 in a flash, he was still a "light mix" (what the hometown people called him), and his parents were always worried that he would become an "old single stick".
Xiao Ming came out to work after graduating from secondary school, and like many young people today, he left his hometown to find a life in the city.
Xiao Ming did not enter the factory, he felt that working in the factory was too unfree, and the workers were like machines. He knew how to drive and loved to drive, so with the help of his family, he bought a car and became a ride-hailing driver.
The life of the online driver, the time is at his disposal, he wants to take orders, as long as he is diligent and fast, he can earn four or five thousand a month casually, which is enough to spend on his own.
And in the process of getting out of the car, he can contact different people every day, including talkative and interesting people; he can also encounter a lot of unexpected things, so every day is full of freshness for Xiao Ming.
At the beginning of 2021, he met a beautiful female teacher, Xiao Ming was picked up near a university, after the car was turned on, Xiao Ming casually asked if the woman was a student of this school, and she said that she was a teacher here.
As soon as he heard that he was a university teacher, Xiao Ming, who felt that he did not read much, ignited a good feeling from his heart, and along the way he constantly found topics and praised the female teacher in a different way, which made the female teacher feel embarrassed.
Half an hour's drive, the two had a good chat, who doesn't like to be praised! During the conversation, Xiao Ming also knew that the female teacher's name was Liu Ting, and she was still single.
The speaker has no intention, the listener intends. Before getting off the bus, Xiao Ming exchanged phone numbers with Liu Ting on the grounds that it was convenient to make a car, and added WeChat.
Liu Ting did not show indifference and rejection because Xiao Ming was a driver, on the contrary, she thought that this driver was quite interesting.
Xiao Ming often greets Liu Ting on WeChat, and when the weather is cold, he will also ask her to add more clothes. Liu Ting will also contact Xiao Ming directly when she needs to use the car.
The two gradually became acquainted.
One day, Liu Ting needed a car again, and she contacted Xiao Ming as usual. As soon as she got on the car, Liu Ting obviously felt that today's Xiao Ming seemed to be different from the past, and she was full of excitement.
"Master Xiao, did you encounter any happy events today?" So happy! Liu Ting asked.
"The land in my hometown is going to be expropriated by the government!" Xiao Ming couldn't help but tell Liu Ting the good news.
After Liu Ting heard this, she quipped to Xiao Ming: "It's really good, then don't you become the second generation of demolition, and don't drive an online car in the future?" ”
Xiao Ming said happily, "I didn't think about it so much, so let's marry a daughter-in-law first." ”
Demolition pictures
"I have heard that some of the second generation in Beijing are especially divorced after marriage, and you can carefully choose a good daughter-in-law." Liu Ting teased Xiao Ming again.
I don't know if it was because the land requisition money was about to arrive, but a thought that I had never thought of appeared in Xiao Ming's mind.
He looked through the frontview mirror at Liu Ting in the back seat and said: "You see we are all so acquainted, or you and I will get married, in case of divorce, you can still share a share, how good do you see." ”
After hearing this, Liu Ting's heart was shocked, but she still replied in a joking tone: "Good." ”
02, a bride fell from heaven
A joke in the car, did not think about it and "shone into reality", Liu Ting really agreed to marry Xiao Ming. For Xiao Ming's family, Liu Ting was simply a bride who fell from the sky.
Why did Liu Ting marry Xiao Ming? This is a question they often ask before and after marriage. This is not surprising.
Although marriage is equal, the difference between the two is obvious: one is a university teacher and senior intellectual from the city; the other is a ride-hailing driver from the countryside who has no higher education.
But for these obvious differences, neither of them seems to have thought much about it before marriage. When he learned that Liu Ting agreed to marry himself, Xiao Ming felt like a dream every day, and he felt that it was his true feelings that touched Liu Ting.
For Liu Ting, she also seemed to be dreaming, but in the dream, she married Xiao Ming "in a vacuum", and soon the two received a marriage license.
Afterwards, according to Liu Ting, at that time, she did not want to be in such a hurry to get a license, because the time between the two was not long, it was 4 months, and the degree of understanding was not deep.
However, the Xiao family persuaded Liu Ting to agree on the grounds that after applying for a marriage certificate, Liu Ting had the status of obtaining land requisition money. This reason seems to be considered completely from Liu Ting's position, and liu Ting has no reason to refuse.
The land acquisition money has not yet arrived, but in order to give Liu Ting a decent wedding, the Xiao family borrowed from the east and west, and a total of 260,000 yuan was used for the wedding of the two people.
Half of it was given to Liu Ting as an expense for her bride price and other weddings.
After all, married to a university teacher, Xiao Ming and his family want to do their best to express their attention and love for Liu Ting, hoping that she and herself can live a good life and grow old.
On May 1, 2021, the Xiao family invited all the relatives, friends and villagers they could invite to the wedding of the two, and the wedding was held in a lively atmosphere, but according to the memories of the villagers who attended the wedding at that time, the bride was very strange on the wedding day.
As a bride, Liu Ting not only did not have the joy of marriage, but her face was full of unhappiness, and when the newlyweds toasted to their relatives and friends, they also seemed reluctant.
According to local wedding customs, after the welcoming motorcade receives the bride, when getting off the bus, the groom will carry the bride home, but Liu Ting got out of the car by herself, she did not let Xiao Ming hug, she was not even willing to let Xiao Ming hold her own hand.
03, the vanished bride
Xiao Ming did not think too much about the abnormal behavior of the bride at the wedding, he thought that Liu Ting was unfamiliar with the environment and could not let go.
During the wedding, he also continued to comfort Liu Ting, saying: "It will be over in a while, many of these guests are not relatives of their own, and it doesn't matter if you don't want to know." ”
Even though Xiao Ming was so considerate and comforting to Liu Ting, something unexpected happened: the next morning Xiao Ming opened his eyes to find that his bride was missing.
Where did Liu Ting go? Xiao Ming called Liu Ting while looking around with his family, everyone was crazy, and they even wanted to call the police the next day.
After a long time, the phone was finally called, but Liu Ting told Xiao Ming in an indifferent tone on the other end of the phone: She has returned to her home.
Dawning was suddenly blindfolded, "What the hell do you mean?" Any bride will go back to her mother's house the day after she gets married! He questioned Liu Ting loudly on the phone.
"I suddenly felt that our marriage was too hasty, you give me some time to think, don't come to me first." Liu Ting hung up the phone.
"What do you say!" Xiao Ming, who was holding the phone, was about to run away, and he immediately drove to Liu Ting's house.
Coming to the door of Liu Ting's house, Xiao Ming suppressed the anger in his heart, knocked on the door, no one opened the door, he knocked the door again, but still no one opened the door.
At this moment, Xiao Ming was completely angry, and he shouted loudly at the door: "Liu Ting, you give me out, who has just repented on the second day of marriage, you can receive more than 100,000 dowries from my family!" ”
Perhaps afraid that the neighbors around them would hear it and hang on to their faces, Liu Ting's parents finally opened the door to let Xiao Ming in.
04. Fraudulent marriage?
At that time, Liu Ting was standing in the living room, and when she saw Xiao Ming, she scolded sharply: "You don't want to make trouble, this is too ugly, we have something to say." ”
Xiao Ming also felt that it was necessary to clarify things first, why Liu Ting suddenly returned home on the second day of marriage, so she calmed her mind.
Then, Liu Ting spoke of her reflections on this "confused marriage" in one day:
Liu Ting said that she was 28 years old, and her parents have been urging marriage in various ways over the years, which makes her very upset.
After meeting Xiao Ming, I began to feel that he was very realistic, very concerned about himself, and felt that it was good to have one more person around him who cared about himself.
As ordinary friends, the two do not have much contact on weekdays, basically chatting on WeChat occasionally, and there is no in-depth understanding. Later, it was that day that Xiao Ming said that the family was going to acquire land and let himself marry him.
After hearing it, his first reaction was to joke, and he said yes. After that, the whole thing began to develop in the direction of formal marriage, and then the two of them received the license, which made them have no way out at all.
Liu Ting believes that the marriage of two people is a "confused marriage", and she has not figured out the meaning of marriage and does not know what kind of partner she wants.
Moreover, Liu Ting felt that Xiao Ming was not self-motivated, and she had encouraged Xiao Ming to continue his studies and take a college diploma many times, but Xiao Ming always refused on the grounds that he had not studied well since he was a child, even if he expressed his willingness to tutor and was not willing to work hard.
But he is a person with a strong sense of enterprise, hoping that he and his partner will get a good life through hard work, xiao Ming does not have this idea, too satisfied with the status quo.
Therefore, Liu Ting feels that the difference between the two people is too big, the life experience, academic experience, etc. are completely different, and it is difficult to communicate mentally, nor can it communicate.
In the end, Liu Ting proposed a divorce to Xiao Ming, and she hoped that Xiao Ming would agree.
04, it turns out that this is not love
After listening to his wife's explanation, Xiao Ming was completely unable to accept it. He was still immersed in the joy of his new marriage yesterday, and today he was stuffed with a basin of cold water, and these explanations where explanations are explanations are unreasonable accusations against himself.
In his opinion, the reasons for divorce that Liu Ting talked about were all excuses. Why do you say that you are not motivated, you have changed jobs, and you are still working part-time as an online booking driver every day after work to make money.
He is not good at reading, but in order to give Liu Ting a good life, he can be said to have done his best, and the money he earned was spent on Liu Ting, and he did not know how many things he bought for her.
Xiao Ming felt that Liu Ting might not have looked at herself from beginning to end.
Thinking about it now, after agreeing to get married, Liu Ting's attitude towards herself began to deteriorate, and she had accused herself many times: "You are really useless." ”
Once, he also recorded it with his mobile phone, and at that time he thought that his wife's tantrum was quite cute, but now when I play it back, it is completely different, and the tone is full of dissatisfaction.
At that time, I was trapped in love, so dull that I didn't feel Liu Ting's "contempt" for herself at all, and Liu Ting always said that she didn't like him to call herself, which seemed too clingy and too out of the ordinary.
Hey, recalling the details of the two people's past together, the more he recalled, the more Xiao Ming felt cold. Could it be that Liu Ting had never loved herself.
Xiao Ming was not reconciled, for this relationship and marriage, he and his whole family had invested too much, and he decided to talk to Liu Ting face to face again.
When we met again, Liu Ting's attitude of divorce was still very resolute, there was no change, and the helpless Xiao Ming directly threw out the question he wanted to ask most in his heart: "Do you love me?" ”
In the face of this problem, Liu Ting's always excited emotions eased, she was silent, thinking, thinking about how.
This is also the question that Liu Ting has asked herself many times: "Do you love Xiao Ming?" ”
The answer given by the heart is: "Don't love." ”
Finally hearing Liu Ting's answer, Xiao Ming also understood: his wife does not love himself, and his so-called love is just "mirror flower and water moon" and wishful thinking.
Xiao Ming couldn't understand Liu Ting's behavior, since he didn't love, then why did he agree to his marriage proposal?
He and his whole family used all the Liu Ting to marry and the marriage that they came to greet, but in the end they exchanged it for "a bamboo basket to hit the water", and he not only lost money, but also suffered deeply emotionally.
Just as the so-called "good things don't go out, bad things spread thousands of miles", this news quickly spread to Xiao Ming's hometown. After the villagers learned the news, they all talked about it, and many people thought that Liu Ting was cheating on marriage.
Xiao Ming was also confused, but he also felt that as a university teacher, Liu Ting seemed to have no reason to cheat money by cheating marriage, and if she wanted to cheat the state of land acquisition funds from him, then it was a little too early for her to regret it.
In the face of his parents who sometimes sighed and sometimes couldn't help but scold, Xiao Ming was very hurt in his heart, he didn't want to divorce, but he didn't know how to solve it.
06, face the reality
No matter how cruel reality is, people always have to accept reality.
After consulting with his parents, Xiao Ming proposed to Liu Ting the condition of divorce: return all the dowry. You can't always have everyone's money empty and fall into debt.
Xiao Ming originally thought: Since you want to divorce so much, this will not always refuse, and most of the money for marriage is borrowed by my parents, and these borrowed money are to be repaid. They are so good to you, how can you get by without refunding your conscience!
But this time, to Xiao Ming's surprise, Liu Ting was only willing to return the 20,000 dowry.
Liu Ting admitted that the Xiao family did give her a lot of bride price, but many of them were used in the decoration of the house and the preparation of the wedding, and she actually got only 20,000, so she could only return so much.
In order to show that she was not cheating on marriage, Liu Ting expressed her willingness to give up the compensation for land requisition given to the Xiao family by the state in the future. At the same time, he said that he has always been grateful for Xiao Ming and his parents' concern and love for themselves.
The second half of the thank you is meaningless to Xiao Ming, who has completely determined that Liu Ting is cheating on marriage. He said that if Liu Ting did not pay back the money, he would go to the court to sue her, go to the school to sue her, so that she would not see anyone.
The dispute between the two men was also on television, and television interviewed and reported on the incident.
Xiao Ming and Liu Ting each elaborated and reflected on the failed marriage from their own perspectives, and both admitted that the marriage was indeed too hasty and had no emotional basis, at least for Liu Ting.
At present, the marital (property) dispute has not yet been settled, and it may be up to the law to give a judgment. But the love or marriage of two people has died in name only, such a short marriage, which is somewhat regrettable.
07, the balance of marriage
The topic of marriage is like "What is man?" Where do people come from? Where are you going? "Like, it is the basic proposition of human beings, and different people have different understandings and cognitions.
In this regard, Mr. Yang Dai has long summed up: marriage is a besieged city, people outside the city want to rush in, and people in the city want to escape.
Whether it is a person who wants to enter the marriage or a person who is already in the marriage, it is always not wrong to be cautious about the marriage itself. Of course, it does not rule out the good story of "love at first sight, goodbye for life".
The success rate of "fast" marriage achievement "happy" marriage is not discussed for the time being, but marriages without emotional foundation and love are always unstable.
Xiao Ming and Liu Ting, two individuals with huge differences in composition, if they lack the support and maintenance of feelings, then their marriage is like a match, a point, a touch will collapse, after all, it will be a tragedy.