Wen | Immortals
An important point in the lives of couples is sex, but how many people are happy in sexless marriages?
So what is sexless marriage? In fact, it refers to the sex life between husband and wife that has not been tacitly agreed for more than a month because of accidents or other things, which is a sexless marriage.
I once read a survey where it is said that one-third of couples on the mainland live in sexless marriages, which means that one in three couples has not had sex for more than a month, so asexual marriages abound around us.
However, sex life is the most wonderful content of marriage, although there may still be love, righteousness, and money between husband and wife, but it is really difficult to continue the marriage in such a golden jade and external failure.
Wang Yan and her husband Wu Mingyu have been married for 12 years now, and both husband and wife are working in a joint venture, so the income is quite high, and they also have a lovely child, and the couple has no conflict of interest outside, which can be said to be the happiest combination. However, Wang Yan has always had an unspeakable secret after the birth of his child 10 years ago, and this is sex life.
"In fact, in addition to sex, the two of us are very harmonious in other aspects, he also listens to my words, but also spoils me, but the sex life is not harmonious, after giving birth to my child, my desire is very large, but he only gave me once every half a month, and then it is once a month or two, and now it seems that it is only once every six months." 」
Wu Mingyu is not very busy at work, but these years still often work overtime in the company, even if there is a car, sometimes a little later is willing to sleep in the unit, for this Wang Yan and Wu Mingyu quarreled many times.
"At first I thought he was someone out there, but after checking his phone many times and even tracking him, I found that there was no flaw, and let me know that his mind was still through a car video."
That time Wu Mingyu went home at more than 10 o'clock at night, did not go upstairs, slept directly in the car, and then played with his mobile phone until 12 o'clock at night, which is the point where I often slept, he went upstairs, and he kept telling me that it was overtime.
At this time, Wang Yan knew that he was not someone outside, but there was no one in his heart, especially her.
"From the time I got married, I knew that his body was a bit weak, if he didn't bring a condom, he was basically a second shot, even if he brought it, he could only last five or six minutes, I have been making soup for him all these years, hoping to make up for his body, but he would rather put the soup out of the smell than drink." 」
Such a life made Wang Yan feel unusually tired, and her husband was like a nihilistic existence to Wang Yan, it seemed to exist, but he could not feel it, ethereal and ethereal around.
Wang Yan also said these things to his girlfriends, and the girlfriends were very surprised that Wu Mingyu was actually a cold personality, and also worried about how Wang Yan had come over the years: "I also asked about the sex life of my girlfriends, she said that there were not many, twice a week, hearing this number made me feel tearful. ”
After the girlfriend gave Wang Yan a trick, angry, lying, flirting in order to stimulate the possessiveness of men, for this reason on Valentine's Day, Wang Yan asked Wu Mingyu to talk more about her in front of his colleagues, and then to learn from her, but in the evening Wu Mingyu said that he did not say, which made Wang Yan very angry: "If you love me, why can't you say it out loud, shout it out loud to be really love!" ”
However, in the face of Wang Yan's roar, Wu Mingyu did not say a word, although he wanted to come to sleep with Wang Yan in his arms when he slept at night, but Wang Yan avoided him, and Wu Mingyu really did not touch her.
"I'm only 35 years old, and I have my own needs, and when I feel like I want to have my husband's love, I don't want to use those props." In fact, Wang Yan's sisters also privately told him to go to the massage hall to relax, and the words inside and outside indicated that the place was not a formal place, which made Wang Yan very resistant.
"Although I have needs, I don't want to love because of sex, and I don't want to betray my husband for it, but my life now really doesn't make me have the confidence to stick with it." 」
I remember that Tang Jiuqing said in "Southern Zen": "So there is nothing wrong with the joy of the bed, starting from the untiing of the wide clothes, every step is the meaning of loving you, and all at once it is heavy, and my wolf prevention is all handed over to you." ”
Therefore, having a relationship is the first right and entertainment given by God to human beings, and couples have obligations and responsibilities for this, not only to meet their own needs, but also to meet the needs of their partners, so that they can become husband and wife.
The meaning of husband and wife living in marriage is actually greater than imagined, and has nothing to do with age, I have heard a 78-year-old uncle's self-report, he said that he and his wife have been married for 60 years, every day to sleep naked, and no less than three times a week of conjugal life, which is also the secret of longevity and health in the words of uncle: "This can not only make each other's skin not hungry, but also prevent male prostate diseases, prevent female breast sagging and other gynecological diseases, and yin and yang are also exercise, When you are older, you can know whether the other party is sick for the first time. ”
It can be found that the benefits of proper sex life outweigh the disadvantages of marriage, so the problems for Wu Mingyu and Wang Yan can start from the following aspects.
The first is communication, to understand the reasons for Wu Mingyu's frigidity, if it is uncomfortable and unhappy, you can gradually improve the process, but if you have physical and psychological diseases, you can also go to treatment, husband and wife are blessed to share, there are difficulties, Wang Yan will inevitably accompany Wu Mingyu, which is also a way to sublimate the marriage.
In fact, it is to arouse the interest of the other party, sometimes Wang Yan can also wear some sexy, cool clothes, after all, a man's interest in addition to the sense of touch can also be through the vision, including smell, hearing, etc., each of which is Wang Yan's means of arousing her husband's interest.
And Wang Yan is very valuable point is that he did not choose to find someone outside because his husband could not satisfy himself, which is also Wang Yan will strangle the hidden dangers that may occur in marriage in the cradle, it is true that both men and women need physical satisfaction, but this is by no means an excuse to hide from their partners to find others, as Nietzsche said: Fighting with the dragon for too long, you have become a dragon, you stare into the abyss for too long, the abyss will return to stare. So don't make yourself a disgusting person.
Marriage is not a small thing, but two people for decades, two children for a lifetime, do not fail each other, because that is also to fail themselves. If you still love each other, then try to maintain the relationship, respect, understand, do everything your partner can do, and still can't meet your own requirements, then divorce decisively.
Life does not have a road that does not work, just to see if you want to go, most of the people who can't walk are individuals who take the road to death, and eventually suffer others, but also trapped themselves, so that the happiness that is within reach also slips away from the hand!