Lead:
The 67-year-old mother-in-law cried: To the daughter-in-law like a daughter-in-law, I learned after five years that I was self-made and affectionate. What's going on here? Why? Isn't it a family? Let's take a look at this matter, and hope that this matter can attract the attention of the elderly.
Aunt Zhu, 67:
My son only got married 5 years ago. So I'm very good to my daughter-in-law. Everyone says, as long as you treat your daughter-in-law well. Then he will get along with you too. I just believed this sentence, so I took the initiative to be good to my daughter-in-law. Usually, I try to do anything at home that I try to do myself. I was accidentally sick before. When I needed someone to take care of me, I didn't let my daughter-in-law come back to take care of myself. On the contrary, when he was confinement, I went there to take care of him for half a year. The first child is like this, and the second child is like this. Usually, when my daughter-in-law is at home, I am reluctant to let him work. Even the rice I cooked for him to eat.
Before buying vegetables, I will deliberately tell him, what do you want to eat at noon? Tell me what you want to eat, and wait for me to go out and buy vegetables. My daughter-in-law told me that I want to eat whatever you cook, and I can eat anything. It seems that the two of us get along very well and harmoniously, and everyone else thinks that I will be very happy. I used to think the same way, but it wasn't until later that I realized that my daughter-in-law was an outsider after all. Feed the uncooked. No matter how good you are to him, you are ultimately an extended relationship. Why? Take a look at my case. In the treatment of daughters-in-law, I dare say that I say second, and no one says first. I'm super invincible to my son. He didn't have to do anything.
A few years ago, my daughter-in-law told me that it was too much trouble for my children to stay in the big city when they grew up. I knew when I heard him say this, he wanted his child to come back to school. And then I said to him, do you want your kids to come back to school? If so, let the child come back. I can do it when my kids are studying at home and the tuition is cheap, and I'll help take care of the kids. If that's the case, you can work with peace of mind, and I know you're busy at work and don't have time to take care of your children. Later the child came back to school and I was taking care of it. Both children came back to school, and I took care of them during the time I took care of them, and I didn't ask him for a penny.
All the money was spent on my own, and when I didn't have any money, I would do a little temporary work. Let's put it this way, I brought up both children, and I am closer to me than to my mother. I was with my children from childhood to adulthood. In the words of my daughter-in-law, the children are all generations apart, and the pressure of being young now is too great, you have to work hard, where there is something going on. So the child can only be handed over to the grandparents to bring. Thankfully I have such a good mother-in-law. I was very happy to hear these words, and I thought that my efforts had finally paid off. After all, I am so good to my daughter-in-law, he should be good to me.
Someone else sent me a few ducks. Without even thinking about it, I took two for my daughter-in-law's mother. I had heard my daughter-in-law say that his mother wanted to eat ducks from the countryside. But I didn't raise it at that time. It's because ducks have to be kept in the river or pond. Dry ducks are not delicious. At that time, the fields in the village were running out of water. So there is no nourishment. If you go out to buy it, you can't buy a good one. Now I just happened to meet someone else who gave it to me. Then I gave two to my relatives. Don't talk about ducks, usually there is something delicious, I will give it to them. And if there is anything in the family that needs my help, I will also help.
I do habitual, hard work in the countryside. Before their family built a house. I also went to help, and my family told me that finding my own family to build a house not only saves money, but more importantly, it can save worry. If you let others build a house, the most feared thing is that something will happen, and some people cut corners in order to save work. It would be unsafe to live in a house like that. It's different if you build me a house. We're so good, you certainly won't do anything excessive.
At that time, I was busy in my own family for more than half a year. What hard work, such work, tired work I rush to do. I was in my 50s at the time, and I still tried so hard to be nice to them. In my heart we are a family, and I will do my best to help when there is something that needs help. Later, a friend in the family fell ill. Say what needs to find an old Chinese medicine doctor. I also trusted the relationship to find a good friend of my good friend. When the last penny was confiscated, the man was cured. I feel that we are a family, there is no need to be so clear, I will try to help if I can.
And later, the daughter-in-law accidentally fell while working in Guangzhou. When he was at his worst, I was with him, and I took the car to take care of him all night. I asked others to help take care of the child, originally I wanted to bring the child with me, but I felt that it was very inconvenient to take the child. And I don't know when I'll be back, so let's say, let's leave it at that. After all, children are reading at home, and if you bring your children with you, you may delay your children's reading. Forget it, go on your own, I've been in Guangzhou for more than two months. During the more than two months in Guangzhou, I took care of my daughter-in-law wholeheartedly. I take care of all the food and drink. What's more, it almost exhausted me here. But I have no complaints.
After taking care of my daughter-in-law, I went back to my hometown. After returning to my hometown, my daughter-in-law told me that others said that eating this kind of thing can be better quickly. You have nothing to do at home, if you have time, help me go to the mountains to collect it. Go buy those that are simply not as good as wild. After receiving the order, I often went to the mountains to collect medicine. I don't even know how many falls I fell. I don't know how many times I was scratched. I haven't told my daughter-in-law about anything like that. I don't want to say it, and I don't want them to worry. In the blink of an eye, many years have passed. In these days, I am very good to my daughter-in-law.
But it wasn't until two months ago that I realized that I was too naïve, and that it was all my voluntary efforts. Two months later, I went to the hospital for a check-up. At that time, I always felt dizzy. After going to the hospital for examination, I found that I had a tumor in my brain. The doctor told me that you came early, so if you don't have anything to do the operation, you can be 100% fine. But after a few days of surgery you have to find someone to take care of you, because you can't move around without surgery. The first thing that came to my mind was my daughter-in-law. Many people say why don't you know how to hire a babysitter? Do you think I don't want to hire a babysitter? Don't need money for a babysitter? There is also the fact that you can obviously let your daughter-in-law take care of it. Why hire a babysitter?
When I told my daughter-in-law about this at the beginning, I thought that H House would agree immediately, after all, I was so good to him, and now he should be good to me. But my daughter-in-law told me that she was really sorry. I didn't have time for those days, you can look at it yourself, it's really not okay to find a temporary worker. Later I learned that it wasn't that he didn't have time. It was because he wanted to go back to his mother's house to drink happy wine. It turned out that in those few days, his younger brother and child were full moons. So he chose to go back to his hometown to drink happy wine. My son didn't talk to him about this, and I said I only knew about it by looking at his circle of friends. And I've seen my son like his circle of friends.
At that time, my son was on a business trip. What I didn't expect was that my daughter-in-law wouldn't come back. But my son knew and wouldn't tell me. I was really angry. I was so good to them, but it was this ending, no matter what the reason for this matter, at least give me an explanation. But they did this to me, and the more they thought about it, the more they were upset. I was discharged from the hospital more than a month later, and after I was discharged, I went directly to my son. When I was looking for my son, I happened to run into them talking. I heard my son say, the last time you were asked to go back to take care of my mother, why wouldn't you go back?
My daughter-in-law said, why should I go back, I don't have time and you know I have something to do. If your own mother doesn't go back, what will I do when I go back? Do I know your mother well? My son said, where do I have time, when I was out on business, you don't know. Hearing such conversations from them, I realized that in their minds my position was so low. Thanks to my desperate efforts to be nice to them, I did everything in order to be able to meet their requirements. Not only will it be good for them, but even my relatives will take it very seriously.
But it was such an ending, I thought, I was very serious about the matter of my daughter-in-law. I dare say second, no one dares to say first. But they did that to me. In the past, my son was very filial, and my son would listen to whatever I said. I remember one time I wrestled. My son came back to see me today. At that time, my son was not married, and I told my son that he did not have to come back. But my son rushed back to see me. After marriage, it was different, and after marriage, in my son's mind, I slowly lost my place, and replaced it with a daughter-in-law. Hearing their conversation, I now chose to leave. I was so good to them, but this was the end.
When I got home I didn't care about them anymore. And they think I'll be as good to them as ever. I don't want to care about them anymore, I don't want to do anything they make me do, and now I just want to be nice to myself. But they went to tell others that my mother-in-law didn't know what was wrong, that she had changed, that she had been very good to me before, and now she was unwilling to do anything for me. Then they kept saying bad things about me. It is a matter of affection to do things for a daughter-in-law, and it is a duty not to do things for a daughter-in-law. Isn't that the case? Forget it, I don't want to talk about it anymore, I don't want to deal with him anymore.
Now I finally understand that my daughter-in-law and mother-in-law have not achieved much after all. Because the daughter-in-law is an outsider after all. No matter how good you are to him, you are an outsider after all, and I thought that after you were good to him, you would be able to change the relationship between you. Outsiders who can't change are outsiders after all, just like I did to my daughter-in-law. Well, people think you deserve to be nice to him. Forget it, I won't be so good to him in the future, he loves it, I won't care about him anymore, I put myself in the first place, and being good is the best. 6 Daughters-in-law as their own people is one of the things I have done wrong in my life.
epilogue:
This thing is not good to evaluate. Some people do, but we just have to do what we have to do. The old man should put his position first, not the son and not the daughter-in-law. If you put others first, you will slowly snub yourself, and if others are not good for you, then there will be a big gap in your heart. It wouldn't be nice to do that. To avoid these bad things from happening. The old man must put himself first, only if he is good, he is really good. Other people are not good about you or not, don't think so much, just be good to yourself, as long as you are good, that is really good.