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I don't know, do you have such a feeling:
The happier the woman lives, the easier she looks.
It seems that they do not need to give anything to have the love of their husbands, the respect of their children, and the blessings of life.
Actually, it really is.
Happy women know how to reduce their burden on themselves, especially taking the initiative to lose three things.
The first: feelings of inferiority
In the recent hit drama "The World of People", Zhou Rong's character is not pleasing, almost from the past to the end, but it cannot be denied how happy she was in the first half of her life.
When I was a teenager, in school, I was the daughter of a teacher, a classmate, and a parent.
When she was young, in order to pursue romantic love, she was far away from her parents, not far away, to the depths of the mountains of Guizhou, with her beloved man, living the life she longed for.
It is true that those years, in terms of life, were difficult, and even often life-threatening.
However, in that era, almost everyone was like this, and it was not zhou Rong who lived easily alone.
As Zhou Rong said, in her days in Guizhou, she was particularly happy and super fulfilled.
After middle age, he was admitted to Peking University and became a university professor.
Even after encountering her husband's middle-aged cheating, Zhou Rong's side also has a strong ability and high emotional intelligence Cai Xiaoguang has always loved her deeply, understands her, respects her, understands her, and is more willing to take care of her daughter with her.
For a woman's life, Zhou Rong's ups and downs in life are caused by the times, but her heart is happy most of the time.
From beginning to end, Zhou Rong lived according to her own wishes.
From childhood to adulthood, she was like a proud peacock, looking up at her life, as long as she identified things, she has always been moving forward.
In Zhou Rong's body, there was not the slightest hint of inferiority, she was a confident woman.
As a TV drama audience, she scolds Zhou Rong, but the confidence she exudes from the inside out is lovely.
The basis of a woman's happiness is to lose her inferiority and pick up self-confidence.
Since ancient times, when women are educated, the elders have taken: from the husband at home, married from the husband as the standard, requiring women to be low-key, to abide by their duties, especially to look up to men and live.
Even in modern society, when a woman gets married, her parents will remind her with good intentions that when she arrives at her in-laws' house, she can no longer be as willful as her family, and she must restrain her temper.
There is nothing wrong with parents being so alert to their children, the problem is that women and men should be like this, not women.
Women's long-term repression, in the cognition of many women, formed a dependency, clinging mentality, will always be unable to help but think that women should rely on men, and do not have confidence "I can".
The cruelty of life lies in this.
Confident women, more understand that life has to rely on themselves, rely on their own source, is to believe that I can, without having to bow my head and be a person.
Conversely, the best outcome for those women who bow their heads and live themselves as ascetics is nothing more than a humble exchange for sympathy.
The second: a sense of giving
I often hear complaints like this:
I gave my youth and time, my body and health for this family, for this man, and in the end, he actually ignored me and hated me for not being feminine.
Behind this sad word, there is actually a direct channel for whether a woman is happy.
Namely: a sense of giving.
What makes a person live depressed and tired is not the hardships of life, but the pinning of all hopes on others, including comments on the self, and the reactions of others.
Women who have a strong sense of giving are like this.
In front of your husband, your efforts are to build a happy, warm and harmonious family with your husband, which is the need of your husband and your hope.
It does not exist, it is for the husband or the children, and this kind of giving is for oneself, not for others.
When you understand this, it will be clearer that everything a person does is his own choice, not imposed on you by others.
Of course, choosing how to live, should also bear the corresponding consequences, there are good and bad, there are joys and sorrows, there has never been one thing, only to gain, not to lose.
In the face of work, your efforts are to make your life better, to be able to lift up more confidently to be a person, without being a "reaching out party", which is the basis for your survival, not for whom, and to work hard.
When you understand this, you can understand that a person who works hard and gets the boss's salary may also make money for the boss, but you harvest a confident life.
It is true that your efforts may not be rewarded accordingly, but this is the truth of life.
What kind of life you want, you have to work hard, and you have to be prepared for failure in advance.
In front of your children, your efforts are for the duties of parents.
Of course, women who know how to give away will not simply regard "paying for their children" as the supreme law of getting along with their children.
Because they have long understood that when dealing with interpersonal relationships, it is to let each other gain a sense of identity, and how to increase the child's sense of belonging and identity is the core between parents and children.
Women who are not kidnapped by the sense of giving, when dealing with various interpersonal relationships, know how to point to the end, in their hearts, have already drawn a realm line for themselves, more than but will not invest.
Women always have to understand that people live for themselves, not for others.
A woman who has a strong sense of giving, lives for others all her life, but makes herself fall into the abyss.
The third thing: emotional
I know an elder sister, who is over forty years old, the eldest daughter is a university in the field, the younger son is studying in local middle school, and the husband is a senior manager of a well-known local company.
Whether financially or spiritually, the eldest sister is regarded as a winner in life.
And it's true.
The household chores of the family, the husband contracted, the income was almost fully handed over, and she came to the administration
The two children know how to plan their future, and they hardly let her worry about learning.
Her secret is good emotions.
In front of her children, she has hardly ever looked hideous; beside her husband, she is also with the same drizzle.
Of course, she also has times of depression and anxiety, but she knows how to solve it, not to be patient.
All their lives, people are paying for their emotions.
Especially women.
In the world of women, most of the time, there are only the trifles and pieces of life, and the real emotional explosion is not an earth-shattering big thing, but a small thing that penetrates into life.
When emotions are defeated by life, they become prisoners of time, and it is difficult to feel the happiness of life.
Women who are easy to be emotional, in fact, are a combination of inferiority and a sense of giving, on the one hand, surrounded by inferiority, the focus of life is pinned on others, on the other hand, with their own continuous efforts, to fill the inner uneasiness.
However, no matter what era, life is your own.
People must know how to live for themselves.
Throw away the inferiority, lose the sense of giving, lose the emotion, look at life rationally, look at time thoroughly, and always be happy.
About the author: Wu Yang. Multi-platform contracted author, female inspirational writer. Appreciate the emotions of the world and interpret the changes in the world.