Wen | YIBAO
Dong Weihong, a southern girl who is particularly afraid of the cold and afraid of hardship.
Why did she marry Yao Lisong, who was ten years older than herself?
As she herself said to Bingyi: "Widowed, with children, ten years older than me, I can't stand the cold here." I don't know if I'll dump him, I can't take care of so much, I can't think about the future, I really can't stand the cold here now. I'm different from you and Sister Dongmei, I'm from the South, this morning I went to wash my face, my hands didn't dry, I shook the doorknob, and i lost a layer of skin. ”
She married Yao Lisong first to find a patron for herself, and second, she wanted to use Yao Lisong's relationship to transfer back to the city, she really couldn't stand the pain of going to the countryside. There was no way but to commit himself to marryIng Yao Lisong, who was ten years older than himself, had a widowed son. But she was still kind, otherwise she wouldn't have said that to Bingyi: When I return to the city, I won't dump him, I don't know.
Yao Lisong was still quite distressed about her, and when he saw Dong Weihong's injured hand, he immediately felt pity. Yao Lisong married Dong Weihong because she was young and beautiful, and what man would reject a young and beautiful woman? There was no need to refuse, and besides, he also knew why Dong Weihong wanted to marry him.
When Yao Lisong persuaded Zhou Bingyi to give up Hao Dongmei, he said: "Why is this little Dong with me, because she is in love with me, I heard a sentence from people, love is not the destination of the relationship between men and women, the ultimate destination of the relationship between men and women is marriage, love can be desperate, but marriage is not OK." Do you mean to say that I am not worried about her crossing the river to tear down bridges, unloading and killing donkeys, we are now a military marriage, if she wants to divorce, she must go through the consent of the soldiers themselves, which is stipulated in the Marriage Law. ”
So he didn't care if Dong Weihong would count him?
He knew that Dong Weihong's motives for marrying him were not pure, but he also calculated Dong Weihong, anyway, at that time, he needed a young and beautiful wife who could warm up his bed, be diligent and thrifty, and be his good wife and mother. The marriage of the two of them is based on their own needs, and there is no love.
Love is a luxury in the world, not everyone can be like Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei, not to mention that in that era, "each taking what is needed" marriage is very common.
Registered couples
Many years later, Zhou Bingyi Hao Dongmei and his two sons reunited with Yao Lisong and Dong Weihong, and when they were at the airport, Dong Weihong also hugged Zhou Bingyi in front of Hao Dongmei. They went to the countryside together, and Hao Dongmei talked to Dong Weihong about his own words, to the effect that:
"We are now sleeping in separate houses, and the spiritual couple is not accurate, it is a registered couple. When I was in the corps, it was not okay to separate the covers, and now it is not interesting for two people to sleep together. He said I was like a zombie. Yao Lisong had someone outside, and there was more than one. ”
Dong Weihong is very frank, she doesn't care how many people Yao Lisong has outside, anyway, at the beginning of the combination with Yao Lisong, she didn't love so much, she just took what she needed, so Yao Lisong didn't have to be loyal to her. She doesn't care, she's very sober at this point, as long as I still have a good life now, I live my own life, and it has nothing to do with me who you cheat with.
Dong Weihong is not afraid that Yao Lisong will divorce her, after all, Yao Lisong is also a person who pays attention to influence, and he is the chairman of the group of state-owned enterprises, how dare he divorce easily?
Sometimes if there is no love in marriage and you don't love him, then even if he betrays you, he will not hurt you much. Everyone is middle-aged, everyone has matured, and they also know how marriage is going on, how love is going on, and who really cares about love or not.
Dong Weihong also said: "If this child has a chance, he will definitely not be by your side." If this child did not show up, he would be hot enough. It doesn't matter if you have children or not, this day, in the end, you still have to live by two people. "Indeed, if the child is a very successful instrument, naturally there is no way to stay by your side, and in the end you and your wife are still living; if the child is not out, it is annoying enough to be by your side all day long."
There are losses and gains
Dong Weihong sighed and told Hao Dongmei that if there is a loss, there will be a gain.
What are the two full things in life? If you have attained great material superiority, then you must be emotionally deficient. Women, especially women who have entered middle age, do not have too much attachment to love, and do not have any attachment to men, in fact, your most important thing is yourself.
Take care of yourself, have money and a good life, food and clothing, isn't it also very good?
Why is there to be any love? Love is important, but love is by no means supreme, and if a woman looks down on love, she can easily get happiness.
A man like Yao Lisong, he is very much in need of Dong Weihong, a wife who turns a blind eye to his cheating, he has a lot of pressure at work, he can think of whatever he wants outside, Dong Weihong never interferes with him, they are still nominally loving couples, and they can still get by on the face. In middle age, the two people are still taking what they need and maintaining a relationship of mutual interest.
If you love, you will be very hurt; but if you don't love, you won't care about anything.
Dong Weihong's sobriety
"Our family can now have a house, more than 500 square meters, a single-family house, and even the yard is very large."
In fact, Dong Weihong's married life is very good, the only bad thing is that her husband is not loyal, but it doesn't matter, she doesn't love and doesn't care. Anyway, life is inherently a loss and a gain, Dong Weihong's life after marriage is like a "rich flower in the world", do whatever you want, as long as she can maintain the status quo with Yao Lisong.
If she messes with Yao Lisong, she herself is not happy, Yao Lisong is not happy, and neither of them is happy.
Dong Weihong's soberness in "The World of Man": she is blind to her husband's cheating and is not loving.
Since writing my emotional essay, I have been consulted by many readers, some of whom have asked me how to deal with my husband's infidelity and whether I want to divorce.
I usually ask them, what do you really care about?
If you don't care about your husband cheating at all, he can also give you a good life, then it is better to turn a blind eye. If you love him so much that you can't stand it, it's a different story. But whether you choose to continue the marriage or divorce, you have to make money in your hands, otherwise you will take what you want to fight for your own interests.
The key is to see what your own needs are.
To be honest, it's really hard to want a man who has money and ability and is loyal to you, and this kind of man almost doesn't exist. But I'm against women pinning their lives on men, and when your marriage breaks down, you have to be wary of yourself. At any time, don't rely too much on men, resulting in the loss of your ability to make a living.
Dong Weihong is very sober, of course, her values must make many people disagree, everyone has their own ideas, see what your own needs are. And Dong Weihong's indifference to her husband's infidelity, why not poke at a part of the marriage in reality? Some marriages are like Dong Weihong and Yao Lisong, who turn a blind eye to their husband's cheating because they don't love, because they love themselves more, and may need to get a good life from their husbands.
But remember a sentence: rely on others, through others to obtain a good life, in case he falls, not to mention that the man does not love you, how much can you think about it? Man, you still have to plan for yourself, don't rely on others to make a living. Looking forward to the long snack, Mo is in the comfort zone, lazy and accustomed.
- END -
Today's Topic:
Can you understand Dong Weihong's indifference to Yao Lisong's derailment?
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