Little Buddha said
Many people want to have enough energy and efficiency to play every role: productive employees, inspiring bosses and mentors, supportive colleagues, and loyal partners, friends, parents, children. But in the chaotic real world, it is impossible to do everything at the same time, and blindly pursuing all of it will cause emotional burdens. We must focus on long-term gratification, not short-term triumphs, and carefully consider the priorities that should be focused on in the present moment at different stages of life.
Imagine a company that requires two employees to volunteer for a high-profile field project. Who should be let go? Everyone has their own pressures and responsibilities. Young managers are desperate for promotion, but don't want to leave their wives at home alone to take care of their young children, and another son has just been born; rookies are already working long hours of overtime, pursuing an MBA in their spare time, and preparing for their weddings, and have no time to take care of him; executives in the middle of their careers have just joined the board of a nonprofit organization and don't want to miss the first meeting; single employees are willing to accept the task, but then send their fathers to a nursing home Overweight employees with a family history of diabetes know that travel disrupts their new diet and fitness plans.
Clichés about the importance of work-life balance make it difficult to reflect the complex situation of employees. Pursuing a meaningful, multi-layered life requires endless choices that involve short-term strategic questions ("Should I volunteer to participate in this project?"). and long-term strategic questions ("How can we go further in our careers?"). ”）。
Howard Stevenson is an entrepreneur, professor, philanthropist, former chairman of Harvard Business Press, husband and father who has studied and provided guidance and counseling to various organizational leaders for four decades. He likens the problem of work and life to walking on a balance beam and tossing an egg, a crystal ball, a knife, and several other fragile or dangerous goods. As your career and life progress, you'll take on more responsibilities and get more opportunities. So, in order to maintain balance, sometimes you have to throw away something. The key is to consciously decide what to give up and not to inadvertently let go of the most important things.
High achievers have a hard time accepting that they can't have it all. Even recognizing the fact that their time is limited, they want to have enough energy and efficiency to play every role: productive employees, inspiring bosses and mentors, supportive colleagues, community members who are actively involved in the community, and loyal partners, friends, parents, and children. This is the influence of our education since childhood: we know in school that smart and hard-working students get good grades. But in the chaotic real world, it is impossible to do everything at the same time. You can't achieve all your goals at the same time, you can't satisfy all your desires at once. The pursuit of having it all creates an emotional burden. Long-term gratification must be focused on, not short-term triumphs, and the priorities that should be focused on in the present moment should be carefully considered at different stages of life.
The ongoing "You"
We all know that it's hard for companies to make good strategic decisions without a mission in mind. The same is true of people. For example, a puzzle, it will be much easier to put together a reference diagram on the box, but there is no reference diagram in life to tell you what success really looks like. Many people walk on a balance beam to toss a few things and don't think about what aspects of life they value most in general. Such an assessment is not easy, but it is at the heart of a clear goal and the desired outcome. Assessing the focus of your life can help you think carefully about all dimensions of your life. Consider the following seven dimensions:
Family (parents, children, siblings, spouse's parents, etc.)
Society and community (friendship and community engagement)
Spiritual (religious, philosophical, or emotional)
Body (health and well-being)
Substance (material environment and possession)
Hobbies (hobbies and other non-professional activities)
Career (both short-term and long-term)
Consider three questions for each dimension: What kind of person do I want to be in this part of my life? How much do I want to experience in this dimension? I have limited time, energy, and resources, how important is this dimension compared to other dimensions?
There are two things to keep in mind when thinking about the answer:
First, each dimension has unique challenges. It is necessary to separate the various issues as problems that can be dealt with separately, rather than as a whole heavy burden.
Second, your assessment can and will change. It is necessary to formulate your ideal state now and in the future, and use this as a guide to decide how to allocate personal resources. This is especially important when you feel like you're on the verge of losing your balance.
Assess value
Where are your options between "need-want"? "Needed" such as food, shelter and health; "wanted" such as diamond necklaces, globetrotting, and mansions. The intrinsic value of the former is higher than that of the latter. But most things are in between. Therefore, your goal is to clarify the relative position of each option on this axis based on the personal circumstances and ideals of a particular time period. Some "wants" stemming from personal habits and even peer pressure are very strong and difficult to distinguish from "needs".
Here are two examples (in this case, the names of the people are pseudonyms, and the details have been adjusted to protect privacy). The first example is about college classmate Karin. Karin plays the piano every day, and she is very sad if she doesn't have time to play; this hobby is part of her ideal self and has actually become an essential need, so she sacrifices other dimensions of her life and sets aside time to play the piano. The second example is two former colleagues, Ervin and Bill. Both work at the same company and want to buy expensive cars and handmade Swiss watches – an investment that costs a lot of money and affects their pensions. Elvin, 29, wants to show off his peers, and for him these things belong to the "want"; while Bill, 46, has been promoted to a senior position in the company's luxury department, often entertaining wealthy customers, luxury cars and watches closer to "need": he must focus on building his own image to be successful.
What are the input and opportunity costs? Almost all decisions involve two kinds of costs. One is the cost of inputs: time, experience, and other resources to be consumed; the other is the opportunity cost: other opportunities to be missed. The difficulty with input costs is to determine in advance, and to understand whether and in what way these costs can be consumed to bring you closer to your clear desired outcome.
For example, instead of blindly starting a full-fledged job search and looking for new career opportunities, that is, investing a lot of time and effort, spend only five hours a week in two months, focusing on a handful of industries that you think are promising, talking to people who know those industries, and interviewing executives who are in them. You can list ten companies you want to work for and identify three to five target positions. At the same time, assess the opportunity cost: other things you can't do because you spend five hours a week looking for a job. Maybe you can't go to softball after work, or you can't participate in the new crossover activities in the workplace right now.
Are the possible benefits worth the corresponding costs? Expected benefits must be evaluated as carefully as costs, and the value of benefits relative to costs is assessed. Are the possible benefits worth the costs that must be paid? Songwriter Lucy Kaplansky put it succinctly, "How much did you give?" Do you feel sorry at the end of the day? "For example, Willie, who works for a large conglomerate, was told by his boss not long ago that it would be good for him to spend three years on a CPA." There are benefits" are benefits, but what is the specific value? Can I get promoted after getting a CPA? If so, what level would it rise to? Can I be transferred to other departments of the company? If so, which departments can I go to? Willie must find answers to these questions to determine whether the return on this part of the investment is worth it.
Can it be exchanged? Life is full of trade-offs, but sometimes the two things cannot be exchanged. For example, Steve Jobs must have spent a lot of money treating cancer, but money can't buy health, and there is no trade-off. Many of us face a similar nature of the problems we face in our careers and lives, although they are not so serious. We try to exchange what we have for what we want. If the two things can't be exchanged, we get frustrated.
For example, Andrew, a managing director at a reputable financial services firm, has been in the investment banking industry for nearly two decades, but his enthusiasm for his work has been drained by economic instability, demonization of the industry, and increasingly stringent regulations. He has always dreamed of leaving the financial services industry and opening a small restaurant by the sea. So he quit his job at the age of 52. The company offered him a staggering price and asked him to continue his job for five years. Andrew agreed after a few days of consideration, but now that two years had passed, he felt pain and remembered his dream of opening a restaurant. In the end he exchanged his wealth for his freedom, giving up a high amount of money, achieving relatively little freedom through a new venture, and ultimately a bad deal.
Can you pursue the goals you value most in order? Howard likes to quote one of his mother's pieces of advice: "Remember, you can have everything you want, but not all at once." "Consciously staggering multiple goals over time can give you the same level of success on multiple dimensions." Mike Leven, president and chief operating officer of Las Vegas Sands, has said he decided to focus on the work dimension later than his peers because he wanted to get more involved in parenting when his three children were younger. So, at age 45, he reached the career goals of many of his friends at age 40, made his fortune later than others, and got his first major job as president of days inn when his children were a little older. He didn't slacken off in the early days of his career, but allowed himself to pursue his most important personal goals and career goals at different times in his life—being a good dad and being a successful business leader—because he felt he couldn't achieve them at the same time.
In today's complex and restless world, many of us, like the series of examples at the beginning of this article, are struggling to find a way to succeed in their careers and to find satisfaction in all aspects of life. Decision-making is simpler by carefully considering your goals, the dimensions you value most, the "needs" and "wants," the costs, benefits, and relative value involved in each option, and the sequencing order in which each goal is achieved. Don't always think about pursuing work-life balance, and don't tremble on the balance beam to play with the catch, try to use the methods described in this article to deal with your life's work - the overall pursuit of success and satisfaction. In the real world, "having it all" boils down to that, doesn't it?
Keywords: workplace
Eric C. Sinoway | wen
Eric Sinovi is the co-founder and president of Axcess Worldwide, a partnership development company, and the author of Howard's Gift: Uncommon Wisdom to Inspire Your Life's Work (St. Martin Press, 2012).
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