I am Xiaoyuan, an emotional creator who loves words and reading, I hope to bring you warmth, and I welcome you to tell me your story!
Readers who missed the previous article can click on the blue title Halfway Couple, what is it like to live a "conjugal life" again? Women tell the big truth, very realistic Continue reading.
Everyone has their own code of conduct, but not everyone can have good social relationships.
As adults, we deal with different people every day, some of us becoming our friends, and some of us are just passers-by in our lives.
Someone said: "People are social species, and sociality can undoubtedly show your high emotional intelligence and good popularity." But if you spend all your time in sociality, this life is doomed to be vulgar. ”
Deeply believed, there are always people in our lives who define their social networking by networking.
I feel that as long as we are gregarious, we have social value.
But this is not the case, because when you don't have the value of being beneficial to others yourself, being gregarious is just wasting your own time.
1, do not treat yourself as an outsider, is a kind of low emotional intelligence
In the real world, the public's cognition is superficial.
Based on real life, many people will feel that a person's emotional intelligence is more important than IQ. Of course, on some occasions, this statement does not make sense.
However, few people understand the level of emotional intelligence.
For a simple example, if someone else helps you, you not only don't thank you, but you also say that friends don't have to worry, which is low emotional intelligence.
However, if someone else helps you, you not only thank you verbally, but also help others in time when they need it, which is high emotional intelligence.
The former is conceit, the latter is the right way to open social.
There is a saying that goes, "The most reasonable way is not to force yourself." ”
Admittedly, presumably everyone will not force themselves, but sometimes, your strength inadvertently forced others.
There is a friend next to me, let's call her Kobayashi for the time being.
Before, I had a good relationship with her, but later, I avoided her. Because, she doesn't think of herself as an outsider.
I invited her to my house, and when I entered my room, I began to fiddle with my belongings, and even caught a piece of ornament that I liked and asked me to give it to her.
Before I could even nod, something was already in her pocket.
It made me feel very uncomfortable.
Sometimes, colleagues bring her breakfast by the way, and others euphemistically say how much breakfast costs, meaning that they want her to pay.
However, I don't know if she didn't understand the meaning of her colleagues, or if she pretended to be confused with understanding, always laughing and saying: "I have received your wishes, next time I will invite you." ”
The other party also felt speechless, and no one brought her breakfast after that.
Xiaolin's behavior, in her opinion, is a good relationship with everyone, not outside. However, in the eyes of others, it is not understanding the sophistication of people and low emotional intelligence.
In this life, don't take yourself too seriously, when others don't look at you well, you are nothing.
Therefore, when interacting with people, we must know how to score inches. In this way, there will be a high-quality social network.
2, the more intimate the relationship, the more you need to keep a distance
As the saying goes, "Keep your distance from others and keep a distance from yourself." ”
This statement makes a lot of sense.
Distance produces beauty, and the closer the relationship, the closer it is, it will also be a kind of harm.
Psychologically, there is a "hedgehog effect".
It is about two hedgehogs who want to hug each other for warmth, but the closer they get, the more the thorns on their bodies will hurt each other.
Wait until you find a suitable distance to ensure the effect of heating without hurting each other.
The same is true of people interacting with each other, when it is time to keep a distance, do not get too close.
In this way, it is the right solution.
Xiao Deng is a programmer of a company, and now he is also the backbone of the company, and all these achievements are inseparable from the guidance of the manager.
Once, the leader reached a project task and handed it over to the manager.
If it is done, a promotion and salary increase is indispensable, so the experience cherishes this opportunity, and after receiving the notice, it begins to prepare.
Later, however, the manager was tired because he had been working on the shaft for too long. This project had to be handed over to Xiao Deng by the leader to do.
The result, naturally, was that the project was completed smoothly.
Afterwards, Xiao Deng wanted to visit the manager, but thinking of the project storm, he still did not go by himself, but entrusted his colleagues to convey his heart together.
After all, the manager attaches great importance to this project, if Xiao Deng does not know how to keep a distance at this time, then it is easy for the manager to think that it is "falling into the well".
To be a person, you always have to learn to adapt to changes.
Especially when you are proud of yourself, don't play your achievements too much in front of others, because this is really cheap.
No one cares how many achievements you have, everyone just pays attention to their current situation.
Others want to see your downfall more than your glory. Human nature is nothing more than that.
3, the best way to socialize, is not to be familiar with it
When we are immersed in the wrong way of socializing, we also consume more of our time.
There is nothing more offensive than the absence of a sense of boundaries.
Maintaining a close relationship with people we have a good relationship with is a way to connect feelings. However, too much familiarity will also bring the relationship closer to the freezing point.
Someone said, "Keep your distance at all times, and occasionally idle people are exempt from entering." ”
It is deeply believed that the interaction between people is only conducive to the establishment of intimate relationships at just the right distance.
In a variety show, Gao Yuanyuan and Nicholas Tse entered a scallion oil cake shop.
Then, the owner gave Xie Tingfeng a piece of scallion oil cake, and Xie Tingfeng was just about to share a cake with Gao Yuanyuan, and Gao Yuanyuan quickly refused, saying: "I don't want to eat with you." ”
Then, the shopkeeper re-handed Gao Yuanyuan a new scallion oil cake.
It can also be seen that Gao Yuanyuan has a good grasp of the sense of proportion between friends.
After all, they are married, even if the other party is their good friend, but also the opposite sex.
Isn't that what it should be like to be human? Only by clearly recognizing our identity can we have the ability to deal with our various relationships.
There are no immutable relationships, only people who don't know how to socialize properly.
Xiaoyuan's message: In real life, we always emphasize the importance of emotional intelligence again and again. However, we often fail to meet the requirements of high emotional intelligence ourselves.
Not treating yourself as an outsider is the most foolish thing to do.
After all, the relationship between people relies on the support of interests, and overestimating their position in the hearts of others will only outweigh the losses.
If you can, I hope you can have a measured relationship and be a person with high emotional intelligence.
Share!
Topic: What do you think is the top emotional intelligence?
Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section below. If you like this article, remember to like and retweet. Pay attention to @ Meet Xiaoyuan, bring you different wonderful content every day!
This article is the author's original and may not be reproduced without authorization. The image comes from the Internet, please contact the lawsuit for deletion for infringement.