Just after the New Year, except for the sixth, 80-year-old mother had a cerebral infarction and was admitted to the rehabilitation department, in the hospital during this period, the mother's mood is very bad.
A woman who has always been very strong, suddenly needs to be served by others, she is very uncomfortable, plus half of her body will not move, she is very depressed every day, in addition to crying, she rarely eats, as a child is very painful, in addition to comforting her, coaxing her there is really no way.
It has been seven days here, today the doctor said to transfer to the general ward, but the mother's legs and arms still can not move, looking at her uncomfortable I feel bad, but in addition to comforting her, give her an auxiliary massage, I don't know what else to do?
Due to the pressure of the blood clot, her ability to chew at meals also decreased, and from childhood to adulthood, the mother I saw was a very delicate woman.
The sister-in-law said that her mother was a poor person, and to be honest, her life was indeed a very poor life.
When I was a child, due to poverty and lack of food, my grandmother gave her to a local childless family on the way to escape the wilderness, that is, my grandmother brought up me since she was a child. My grandmother took in my mother without children and no daughters, in my impression, my grandmother was a kind rural old man, my childhood with my grandmother was longer than with my grandmother, I heard my grandmother say that my mother was very diligent from childhood, and she was also filial when she grew up.
When I was a child, in my heart, my mother was relatively strange, because at that time I was at my grandmother's house except at my grandmother's house, and when I followed my mother, I was in the fourth grade, my mother was very beautiful, she was always thin, in my eyes she was a rare beauty, and I liked beautiful people who may be related to my mother.
My mother was also a lucky person, my father was an only son, and my grandmother was an extremely soft-hearted person, who was very good to everyone. Grandma is more like a daughter to the mother, the mother is also extremely virtuous, the grandparents are also very filial, for the orphans taken in by the grandmother is also very kind, my little uncle and two aunts are the grandmother's adopted children of the family, the aunt was very young when their parents were gone, that is the uncle is only more than a year old. Grandma and Grandpa took pity on them and took them home.
When the father got married, the two aunts were already married, and although the uncle was very young and followed the grandparents, the title was the same as the sister-in-law's grandfather and grandmother called Bohe Niang.
My impression of the uncle is also very kind, very good to us, but there is not much opinion, everything is my father and mother to decide. That is to say, the rural people say honestly, very good for everyone, is an honest person with wooden ne, does not talk much, is very diligent, and can refer to the kind that can be relied on.
The uncle's work was arranged by his mother, working on a horticultural farm, the school holidays, the uncle would take me and my brother to the farm to play, there are a lot of fruit trees, of course, there are grasses and small bugs, in his spare time the uncle will take us to the river to dig crabs, or catch grasses, crickets. My first favorite cat was brought for me by my uncle at the local farmhouse.
The eldest sister-in-law was like a mother, and the eldest brother was like a father, which was reflected in my family at that time. The uncle married twice in his life, both by his mother and father, because his grandparents were old at that time, and everything in the family was decided by his father and mother.
Uncle's first wife looks very good, I and her do not have much intersection, because within a few days of marriage she returned to her mother's house, can not come back, listen to my mother said, people hate my uncle honest, I think honest people are not good, to everyone is sincere, no flowers and intestines.
His second daughter-in-law was not tall, very capable, a man of all kinds, and, in my father's words, the daughter of a large family. This aunt even gave birth to two sons to the uncle, the uncle's life is also better than a day, in the eyes of everyone, it should be the wife and children hot kangtou, fortunately happy and blessed life.
When the uncle's eldest son was seven years old and the younger son was three years old, the uncle decided to repair the old house that his parents left for him, that is, that year, he was squeezed into a tree by a cart of bricks, when he pulled to the hospital, I was at school, and I went to the hospital with my parents at night, he also laughed and said, there is no big deal, it is a broken rib, the next day I heard my mother say that I could drink half a bowl of porridge, the third day the critical illness was ineffective, and I was sent back to my hometown that night.
Looking at my parents' crying red eyes, my heart was very uncomfortable, and I felt sad for my parents on the one hand, and I felt sad for my uncle's death, and I felt heartache for my aunt and two younger brothers. I don't know what my aunt will do in the future, and there are still so young children, and the family's acres of farm work are dry.
Time slowly diluted the pain, the grandparents' bodies were getting worse every day, the parents took the grandparents from the township to the city, the grandmother ate Chinese medicine for a long time, and the grandfather also went to the snowy night of the next winter, he did not wait for the spring to go to the place called heaven.
We grew up, facing the marriage of our children and the elderly and sick mother-in-law, the mother's life is very hard, the father is a person who does not care about anything but work, and the mother has to serve the family in addition to work, taking care of the grandmother.
Grandma spent the last few years in bed and in a recliner, my main task before work was to take care of grandma, my brother was married shortly after I got married, my sister-in-law was a doctor, my grandmother brought me and my brother and me, in the hospital bed, my sister-in-law and I also took good care of her, she was dying.
My mother did a great job in this regard, she never hated her grandparents, she set an example for us. Although I have a big disagreement with her in many things that happen later, this does not affect my love for her.
After the death of my grandparents, my aunt was even more lonely at home, with two little brothers, still living in the countryside, and many people gave my aunt a kiss, but my aunt did not dare to agree, because my parents did not want my aunt to remarry, and when they discussed at home, I listened very clearly, the main reason why they did not want their aunt to remarry was the uncle's two children, and they wanted to keep the uncle's blood and bones. I can understand them, they are raising two younger brothers and I agree.
But the fact is not allowed, they have to go to work, who to take the children, we were all brought by grandparents when we were young, they are not yet of retirement age, and it is unrealistic to re-boil people and bring two small children, whether from energy or physical strength.
And the aunt is only in her thirties, the child is in need of the mother, let the child and the mother separate, is also unrealistic, I do not agree with their ideas, so when the aunt confided in me, I chose to stand on the side of the aunt, support her remarriage, but also support the child with her.
No matter at any time, mother and child are connected, and there is no substitute for maternal love. This was the first time I was at odds with my parents.
The so-called Hope Son Jackie Chan, Hope Daughter Chengfeng is estimated to be the wish of the vast majority of parents, when the children do not develop in the direction they expected, first dissatisfied, and then disappointed, I may be my mother's most disappointed one, because my two younger brothers do not like to learn, parents have long been accustomed,
My mother thought that I would get ahead, in the end, I did not get into college, my mother thought that I would find a similar object to marry myself no matter how bad I was, and as a result, I had no intention of getting married, and finally I hurriedly found a small worker to marry, and compared with my brother, she was not only disappointed in me but completely gave up.
My mother didn't like my lover, and she didn't like me, along with the children I had, and after all, she didn't like me anymore. In her bones, these people are not a rank with her, I am a self-willed and depraved person, to put it bluntly, I am also lowly in my bones, and in her words, I will call ducks to dress up as geese.
Anyway, she always raised my mother for more than twenty years, although I lived in my grandmother's and grandparents' house until I was ten years old, and the mother-daughter really got along after the fourth grade. Coming down from the countryside to the city.
My mother did not impress me deeply in my childhood, came to the city, she had to take care of me while working, I think she was very hard, came to the city for half a year to know my secrets, knew what I thought was the most collapsed thing in my life, and later life was very plain, flat to the point that I got married and married.
Sometimes I often think that my mother always said that one of my relatives' brother almost gave my parents as a child, at that time my mother always felt that the child was very big or sat in a wooden chair, playing by herself, afraid of not being smart, and then adopted me, it seems that everything is fate, that unintelligent brother is the most accomplished of all the relatives and acquaintances I know, study well, do not have to worry about parents, and become famous early. And I should be different in her mind, but I became the most inconspicuous child left in the crowd.
My lover is a very loyal and honest person, and my parents are people who make a living, so my mother and father always have a sense of glory that is high, and my in-laws laugh in order not to make me difficult choices.
After the brother divorced and remarried, everything was made according to the arrangement of the parents, in the words of the father, the sister-in-law's family is good, and it helps the younger brother. However, my brother's biggest regret in this life is probably divorce!
My mother had a little brother besides me and my eldest brother.
The little brother was raised in the countryside from childhood, and he also returned to the inner city when he was a teenager, did not love to study, and loved to tinker with machinery, such as clocks and watches dismantled and then installed. The radio was unloaded and reassembled, and at the age of fourteen my mother began to look for him in the countryside, because my mother asked me to knit a scarf for my future sister-in-law, and I did not do it, and my mother and brother hated me for a long time. The little brother said: I don't want him to find a daughter-in-law. My God, fourteen years old, who knows whose daughter-in-law the future is!
If this did not happen in their own home, who would have thought that as a party member and a state cadre, it would be very strange and speechless to do things. I think it may be that they are older, feel that the child has no object is not steadfast, not assured, but only fourteen years old child, how to find one.
So every year the mother every time to prepare a heavy courtesy to let the brother go to the girl's house, the Dragon Boat Festival, August 15 and the New Year have to go, after a few years, the two children are older, only to think this is simply a joke, the little brother also has his favorite person, but also tossed for a long time, because the girl is an only child, and finally blew, found my current sister-in-law to marry.
After the younger brother-in-law got married, she was not bad, and she was also very good to her parents, and her father was sick for many years, and her mother took care of her father's two children in addition to taking care of her father.
My mother often said that my little brother's son and she were the most closely related, because she and this grandson were one day birthdays, and her love for her grandson was very deep. This is the one that is the most favored of the five grandchildren. The neighbor said she was eccentric, and I laughed too, and when people are old, she is happy.
I used to say to my child, "Don't worry about grandma, she's old, she's happy." "Children can also understand, after all, not all people and old people are like my mother-in-law, who love grandchildren and nieces as much as they do." People are flawed and two-faced.
We can't change others, only with a calm mind to look at this matter, the mother from childhood forced to let the grandmother send people, this is her lifelong hatred, she can not forgive her mother, but in fact, in that famine era, the big will work, the small can not do without the mother, only the middle of her has become the object of the send.
As a mother, the original intention is to give the child a life, but as a person, she always feels that there is a sister on the top and a brother on the bottom, and the only one is not welcomed. So my grandmother found my mother decades later, and no matter how much my current grandmother tried to persuade her, my mother did not recognize her.
And I am a person who forgives others too easily, there are cruel fathers and mothers in the world, but there are not many, and no one will choose to give away their children until they are forced to do so.
My mother had always held a grudge against me, and she felt that I didn't hate my biological parents, and even though they abandoned me, I still didn't hate them.
I don't want to hate because hate will deprive me of my happiness, make me unhappy, and live in pain, so I choose to forgive.
Even if the mother does not want to see me, I also hope that she can be happy, in this life we are destined to be mother and daughter, is a relative, I only hope to take care of her twilight years, I think it is good to live a plain life, although she does not like, but there is no way, find a plain person, did not find a rich and powerful person to make her face light for a lifetime, there is no way to do things, did not let her live a glorious and rich life is my guilt, but I give only to do my best. Be with her, comfort her, let her eat and dress warmly.
Life in the world, like people drinking water, is bitter or sweet, cold or hot, only they know. Do not seek great wealth and nobility, but only peace and security. [Prayer] [Prayer] [Prayer]
These days in the hospital with her mother, look at her helpless look, from small to large, to see the mother's kindness, but also to see the mother's strength, to see the mother's gentleness, but also to see the mother's ruthlessness, thinking that whether right or wrong is just the love she wants, her love is all she has, when her love is taken away, her hatred and resentment will come. Poor mother, may she recover soon.
Maybe it was my mother's illness that has made me feel very depressed lately. Maybe it was seeing the patient on the other side that made me feel life and death. On the opposite bed was an old grandmother.
Listening to her son say that she was ninety-four years old, unconscious, living by beating the stomach tube, ventilator, oxygen were used, and her son and daughter were gathered around the bed, and from time to time they had to pull hands and look at their faces. But the old man did not respond, and let the children wait, and on the third day of the mother's entry, she went to the general ward.
Then came a grandfather in his nineties, the son and daughter asked him to know them no, he said, I don't know you, has been in good health and suddenly fell ill, as if it was a physical abnormality caused by fever, but refused to treat him by the doctor and nurse, who touched him he began to quarrel and start scolding. The child, while comforting, explained to the doctor that he had been having this symptom for a few days, and at home.
I suddenly had a kind of sadness, people want to do it when they are good, they are sick, but they are at the mercy of others, they are weak, and their lives are fragile to the point where they cannot live or die. Our generation is fine, there are several sisters, and my parents are sick and have someone to accompany.
But in the next generation, many families are one child, and the one who gives birth to two is not at the risk of fine unemployment. Now the pressure of children's work, the pressure of mortgages, do not dare to get married, and do not dare to have children when married.
Some time ago, some people on the Internet said that if you are sick and can't stand on your own, you won't live, I look at the old man on the bed, look at my mother, and think that at that time it was not what you wanted to do, I'm afraid you just want to die, the children will not let you die, remembering the grandmother, can not eat for several months, the children still use the method of stomach tube to maintain the life of the old man. Because my children want their mother, they suddenly want to cry, even if she argues and scolds again, I am willing, because I know. Some mothers have love, and some mothers have a home. Mom went and became rootless duckweed.
The grandfather on the opposite bed was still chattering, but the children were very patient and told him to listen to the doctor, the doctor is a good person, his son said, his father has always been very healthy, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no heart disease, no medicine. Why did you suddenly have a fever like this?
In his nineties, he has always been in good health and is also a person with a long life.
The doctor said that as long as the mother is well treated, she can still recover, and the later exercise is also very important, I think no matter what the future holds, I will accompany her well, take care of her, and hope that she will recover soon.
These days in the hospital, looking at the old man who is still a beautiful person makes me feel sad, the old man I love, and the person who cares about me for most of my life. I always wanted to write about her before, but I didn't know how to write, in high school, the teacher assigned an essay "My Mother", I didn't know how to write it, I wrote my gratitude, but did not dare to write about the entanglement between us, the teacher said, you don't have to feel guilty, because you just need to believe that your mother loves you.
Today I understand that my mother loves me, and the reason why she hates my lover is that she feels that my lover has robbed me, and she hates my child and feels that the child has taken away all my feelings for her, but she does not know that I still love her, as before.
I told her: Don't be afraid, I will accompany her in the future and take care of her with my sister-in-law. Help her recover. I told my lover and father-in-law about my decision and they were very supportive.
May the mother recover soon [prayer] [prayer] [prayer]