Do you remember the promises you made when you loved someone? Years later, do you still maintain that original intention, deeply in love with the person who loves you as much as life and hurts you to the bone?
Everyone has an answer in their heart, but in many marriages, every unclear answer is heavy.
Some people remember the commitment, but they are no longer husband and wife. Some people are still husband and wife, but they have long forgotten the promise of that year.
The changes in life are quietly carried out, and many beautiful loves are buried forever in the dappled time.
A man once told such a sentiment: Until the divorce, I still loved my ex-wife deeply, but I could not accompany her to live this life. Divorce is a sad choice, and I'm ashamed to have a woman who needs me more than my ex-wife...
As he said, people are often changed by life, and so are marriages. Unconsciously, many people have lost their original intentions and fallen in love with another person.
Just like divorce, there are thousands of unclear clues, and a thousand words that cannot be talked about. Time is like a shuttle, the years are silent, love is beautiful, after all, it is only once.
Below, I will tell you about the marriage case of this man, the process of which is worth many men and women pondering. That love still seems to be hidden in the mind, but it has quietly faded the most innocent color...
First, suddenly, I embarked on the road of no return of feelings
The whole text is told in the tone of this man's voice, and I will only sort it out briefly.
Not long after the divorce, I married her (lover). We quietly loved for more than 3 years, and finally got our word right and fulfilled all our promises.
The saddest person that day was my ex-wife, but I couldn't comfort her.
It was a past that made me involuntarily, everything was like a coincidence, I said little by little.
At that time I was married and had children, but I fell in love with her (lover) who was unmarried.
She was 3 years younger than me, gave me the first time, and has treated me like a sweetheart ever since. This love was wrong from the beginning, the fault was that we met and hated each other late, and the fault was that I ignored the cost of cheating on the relationship.
At first, I just cared for her and took care of her, but later, the development of feelings exceeded my imagination. In the midst of confusion, we can't help but take that step.
She often leaned into my arms and said with great anticipation that meeting me was fate, and she was willing to entrust me with lifelong happiness and be with me forever. Even though I tentatively proposed to break up, she still had no remorse, and she loved more and more stubbornly...
This may be the power of love, and it is impossible to say why. I look average, no family wealth, only a little culture, but she is dead set on me.
Perhaps, women have a preference for the "first man" and can't forget it for a lifetime.
People are about feelings, and repaying the peach is the most basic conscience in the world.
Seeing her so genuine to me, I was both touched and saddened. I can't bear to tell her that I am married and have children, and I can't bear to live up to her expectations.
I've made a lot of efforts to make up for my emotional debt. I am willing to give her the breakup fee, as long as I can afford it, I will give as much as I want, and hope that she will find a good man.
But she said, I gave you all my heart, I am already your person, you don't test my sincerity to you, I will not fall in love with another man in this life...
I could only smile awkwardly, and my heart became heavier and heavier. Many times I want to tell her that I am married and have children, and I can't give you a future. Seeing her innocent eyes, I became less and less courageous to speak.
We get deeper and deeper into the vortex of love, so that every time we try to break up later, it is like a test of life and death.
When it comes to love, she is really paranoid and extreme. In order to force me to marry her, she took sleeping pills and almost left me forever.
She held me in the hospital that day and cried, almost fainting. She choked up every word, and I knew you still loved me and would never abandon me...
She was pale, vomiting again and again, and the whole person looked even thinner. I was so heartbroken that I took her in my arms and hated myself for not being able to suffer for her.
What else can I do? I hurt her like this, do you still have to say break up? My only option is to hide from my wife and continue to be nice to her.
Unconsciously, I embarked on the road of no return of feelings...
Second, because of the debt, so more indebted
This love should not have appeared, but it was like a destined fate.
That year, we met when we were learning to drive and were in the same venue. In just one afternoon, we became friends.
She wasn't pretty, but she was understanding. Clear eyes, humble, simple, industrious, smiling charming, a smile, like a spring breeze.
Where are the unsentimental men? I'm no exception, and like women of this temperament type. Since I met her, without my wife's urging, I would take the initiative to practice every Monday, Wednesday or Friday.
Even though I was married and had children at that time, even if my wife was excellent, I still hopelessly liked her. That kind of liking is simple, there is no evil thought, just want to care for her, take care of her, encourage her...
Maybe she felt my kindness to her, maybe she also quietly liked me. Unconsciously, an inexplicable affection developed between us.
As if with tacit understanding, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, we will always meet in unison. No one says "I love you", but each other has tacitly acquiesced to the love relationship in their hearts.
Later, we met to go to the exam together. We passed easily that day, I had a treat to celebrate, and in a state of inextricably, we crossed the friendship.
I didn't expect that I would be the first man in her life, and if I had known, I would never have hurt her.
I didn't expect that from that day on, she would treat me like a sweetheart and often take me to the place where she rented. She once told a girlfriend in front of me that I had finally passed the exam, and I had taken off the list, you see the clothes I bought for him fit well...
Seeing her immersed in love and happy like a child, I hated myself very much for cheating on her. Of course I regret it, but I've had a hard time riding the tiger.
Until we developed into "lovers", I still didn't have the courage to tell her that I was married. She took it for granted that since I took the initiative to pursue her, it was naturally impossible to get married...
This love is really unclear, it should only exist in the script of the scumbag. I am a person who values feelings, why should I encounter such a thing?
The mood is complicated to the extreme, and the heavier the feelings, the more reluctant to hurt her. Whenever she pampered me, my heart would become heavy because of it.
Speaking from the heart, of course, I love her very much, love so much that I am full of debt, and even marriage is full of debt.
Third, inside and outside the marriage, there is a dilemma
The love that men pursue is not complicated, and does not need to be how beautiful a woman is, nor does it need to be how talented a woman is. As long as she is sincere with herself, that is enough.
Because they are too careful with each other, they have a concern that cannot be put down.
If I hadn't gotten married, I would have spent my life with her and guarding her. With a woman who cares so much about me by my side, I have nothing else to ask for in my life.
But at that time, I already had a wife and children, and I didn't know how to end it in the future.
Unless my wife and I divorce...
But the divorce was not the result I wanted, my wife and I had been married for 4 years. Our child is only 2 years old and the relationship between husband and wife has always been very good.
My wife is a hard-working and kind good woman, from falling in love to getting married and having children, in the whole 7 years, my wife has suffered a lot with me and suffered a lot of tiredness.
I have always been very sober and can't do anything about abandoning my wife and children.
Gradually, I feel that love is an inexplicable bitterness, and both sides are difficult choices. No one knows how entangled I am, and no one knows how much I hate myself.
By the time I truly experienced the dilemma, I had embarked on a path I had never taken before. Feeling the stones to cross the river, for a love that should not have appeared, I went farther and farther down this road.
As time passed, my mood became more and more anxious. Worried that she found out that I was married, and even more worried that her wife would know about it.
Suddenly, I had been "in love" with her for 4 months, and she began to have doubts about me.
Of course I understand that one day I will wear a gang and never hide it any longer. When that day comes, no matter who I choose, it will always hurt another woman.
When I was in love for 5 months, I decided to cut through the mess quickly. For the sake of my wife and children, I did not dare to drag it out any longer, and I could only try to find an excuse to break up.
I told her, I'm sorry, my parents let me go on a blind date, and helped me find a good partner in my hometown. I'm going back, let's break up, I'll give you the breakup fee.
She thinks I'm joking, you don't lie, is it interesting to scare me all day, where do you listen to your parents in marriage? You have culture, I have a heart for you, don't you still feel it? Don't test me, I won't break up with you.
I told her that I don't deserve you, you can find a better man...
She actually cried and wanted to go back to my hometown and make it clear to my parents. Seeing her in tears, I couldn't bear to say anything more, and embraced her in my arms again...
If I were a scumbag, I would have broken up with her at that time. I only hate that I am not a scumbag, so I am even more in a dilemma.
Fourth, in the end, it is indebted to a woman
During those days, my mood was repeated, not only touched by her sincerity, but also uneasy about my marriage.
I made a lot of excuses and thought of many reasons, but she never agreed to break up. Perhaps, as everyone says, every woman cares a lot about her first man, as a lifetime.
It was a kind of paranoia inherent in love, and it was the first willing choice. Choosing one person to grow old is a beautiful quality, but I have a lot of heart.
In the 8th month of "falling in love", I finally told the truth.
I apologized to her, sorry, and didn't tell you until now that I was married a long time ago and didn't dare to delay you any longer. I've had a nervous day, afraid you'll be sad...
She said, in fact, I should have guessed this possibility a long time ago, you made me lose face in front of my sisters. But it doesn't matter, you answer me seriously, is this a fate?
I said, yes, if I wasn't married, I'd take care of you for the rest of my life. There must be someone waiting for you who loves you more than I do.
She cried again, but this time she didn't reluctantly, nodded in agreement with the breakup, and turned to leave.
It was over, and I finally breathed a sigh of relief. Looking at her back when she fell away, my heart ached and I was grateful. Thank you for your fulfillment, you will definitely meet better people...
However, her paranoia was beyond my imagination.
A few days later she sent a message: I gave you everything, do you remember what you said? If I can't be with you, there's no point in me living. I wish you a happy marriage and goodbye to my lover...
Of course I was worried, but I didn't dare show concern for her. It's not easy to end, and if it recurs, it will only get harder and harder in the future.
I didn't reply to her, let myself be a scumbag for the time being, and decisively blacked her out.
At noon the next day, the sister who lived with her called me, your girlfriend cried until dawn last night, ate, just woke up in the hospital, there are no relatives around, you hurry up...
I took a short afternoon off and went to the hospital in a panic. She hugged me and cried bitterly, and I knew you still loved me and would never abandon me...
She was already small and thin, and she snuggled in my arms that day, and her body was particularly thin. I watched her vomit again and again, my heart ached for her, and how I wished I could suffer for her.
Her colleagues came, some people scolded me for not taking responsibility, some people said that I was a negative person...
Yes, from the moment the relationship appeared, it seemed to be doomed to an end. Either way, I owe a woman after all.
Fifth, love is a thousand and one bitterness
Even though she knew I had a wife, she still loved without complaint or regret. Even if someone later whispered that she was the "third son", she still stubbornly insisted on that relationship.
Where am I? I really don't know, but I know she can't live without me.
In the next 2 years or so, she and I were separated and quarreled with my wife.
I know that my wife hates me very much, but after a long time, my wife will no longer show her hatred on her face. Even if I begged her for a divorce, she would just leave in silence, lock herself in the house, and cry quietly.
My wife knows that I have someone else in my heart, but she is still reluctant to let go of our marriage.
People will always change, unconsciously, I only owe my wife, no more love. The so-called love has become a myriad of bitterness, and it is no longer clear between the three of us. I have repeatedly advised my wife that you can live better after the divorce, but she can't live without me. My wife always said that for the sake of the children, except for divorce, I promised you everything...
Yes, in this inexplicable relationship, the wife was sad for 2 years.
It wasn't until one day, when she (the lover) asked her wife for a showdown, that she agreed to divorce me. I don't know what they talked about, but I know the marriage is over...
Maybe she told her wife that she was pregnant with the child. Maybe the wife figured it out herself and took the initiative to complete us.
In the face of helpless reality, we became a former couple, and after 2 months of divorce, I remarried and started a family. I know my ex-wife is sad, but I don't dare comfort her.
My ex-wife has always been a woman who is not good at expressing grievances, but that day she sent a circle of friends, her heart is dead, I wish you happiness.
I hope the ex-wife doesn't hate, doesn't cry, and meets a nice guy sooner. She said she knew it, and she had a plan in mind.
But after 2 years of divorce, the ex-wife is still single. She often came to my house on weekends, picked up the children to play out, and sent them back in the afternoon.
Maybe she's waiting for me to change her mind, maybe she's already disappointed in love. We respected each other like friends, and we all remembered love, but we never said anything about it.
I don't want my ex-wife to stay single like this, and have repeatedly hinted to her that you should think about lifelong events and don't put your mind on your children, she always says she knows...
Sixth, sincere love is only once
A few days ago, the ex-wife said that she had found the right person, and she would not be able to see the children often in the future, hoping that we would take good care of the children.
I should have been happy for her, but somehow, suddenly I was in pain. I want to guard her again and compensate her for the rest of my life.
My relationship is full of debt, and both marriages have debts. I once thought that the person who owed the most was the current wife, but now I found out that that person was an ex-wife...
This marriage case ends here, and this is the story of a highly educated man. I will not express my opinion, just truthfully describe some of it. Regarding the "love" between marriage and outside marriage, everyone who comes here has their own opinion.
There is a kind of love that used to make people complacent, and then it made people worry.
There is a person you once loved deeply, and then you don't love. When it is completely lost, it is found that it is still very loving. The so-called love, only bitter memories remain.
Marriage is long, love is unique. In a certain month of a certain year, maybe you will meet another person of the opposite sex who makes you feel excited, and maybe she is better than your wife. But the most sincere love is only once, and the rest is heartache.