Her Power: The Way women in the Red Chamber survive
Yan Hong
Fudan University Press
She knew exactly who she was, where she came from, and where she was going, and she didn't have as many messy emotions. While she coaxed the other party to be happy, she also coaxed herself to be happy, but it was such a person who knew more about gratitude.
Grandma Liu: Only by accepting fate can we resist fate
Text/Yan Hong
Grandma Liu is an outlier in the literary image,
It will take many years to read her.
When I was a teenager,
There is a kind of Daiyu-style contempt for Liu Grandma,
I think this old lady is exhausted in order to fight the autumn wind,
Insulting yourself to please others is almost obscene.
I can't blame my youth for being ignorant.
Our Chinese literary tradition,
I have always been more respectful of those who pay attention to temperament and feelings,
For example, "I still think of Xiang Yu and refuse to cross Jiangdong"
In good sentences such as "Gentlemen do not eat the food that comes from the mouth",
Integrity is taken for granted before survival,
"Starvation is a big thing"
Although it is a requirement for women,
It actually applies to men as well.
Tao Yuanming wrote a poem "Begging":
"Hunger has driven me, and I don't know why.
Walk to Sri, knock on the door and make a clumsy remark..."
Du Fu once for survival and development,
Bow your noble head:
"Toward the door of fuer, twilight chases away the fat horse dust."
Scraps and cold burning, everywhere lurking sorrow. ”
They bowed their heads,
But these verses are full of self-deprecation,
Begging for food is becoming more and more of an undignified thing.
Therefore, Dai Yu saw that Grandma Liu was actually
Will fight the autumn wind this thing to do the cloud and flow as if nothing,
It is impossible not to despise it.
The teenager did not understand Grandma Liu, and understood that he was already a person who had come over.
After experiencing several life storms,
Only to know that Grandma Liu's kind of weightlifting is light
It is a rare natural wisdom of the unity of knowledge and action.
The reason why she has this wisdom,
It is because she has seen through life, and she has seen through impermanence.
Grandma Liu and Jia Fu are related,
It's also a big circle.
The ancestor of her son-in-law Wang Dog'er,
Once worked as a small Beijing official,
I met Sister Feng's grandfather and Lady Wang's father.
Because of his lust for the power of the royal family, he connected with the sect,
He considers himself to be the nephew of the other party.
It is estimated that the "nephews" of the Wang family do not know how many,
The family business was passed down to wang dog's father's generation,
There is also some exchange.
Twenty years ago,
Grandma Liu also took her daughter Liu Shi to visit Lady Wang,
That visit should have been a courtesy visit.
Although Madame Wang said, "There is no time for them",
But at that time, the life of the king's dog's family should still be justified.
In the past twenty years, the wang dog's family business has become increasingly depressed,
First of all, I couldn't stay in the city,
Moved back to his hometown outside the city,
Later, the life in the countryside was also overstretched,
At the end of autumn and the beginning of winter, the winter affairs at home,
For example, storing Chinese cabbage, buying New Year goods, buying firewood, etc.,
Nothing was done.
Wang Dog'er was irritable in his heart, and he was angry with his family,
His wife Liu Shi did not dare to confront,
Mother-in-law Liu Grandma couldn't stand it.
Grandma Liu first said:
"Our village people, that one is not honest,
What a bowl to eat!"
This is a warning to the dog to keep to himself.
Then point out the dog's problems:
"You are all because of when you were young,
Holding the blessings of Lao Tzu Niang, I am used to eating and drinking,
Now when I have money, I don't care about my head,
Without money, I am blindly angry,
What a manly husband!"
This means that the manly husband should accept reality,
Don't make the mistake of carving a boat and asking for a sword,
The water is no longer the water,
You still think the sword is in the old place.
Of course, it doesn't mean that the days are like this from now on.
If you want to change, you should use the resources you already have to act.
Grandma Liu saw a way out:
"Now although we live away from the city, we are finally at the feet of the Son of Heaven."
This Chang'an City is full of money,
It's just a pity that no one will take it.
Jumping at home is useless! ”
This is the wisdom of Grandma Liu, and it is also the wisdom of the old woman.
She takes impermanence as the norm and sees the heavens and the earth
Nature is broader than the king dog who refuses to accept reality.
She could see the opportunity to be placed in rongguo mansion,
So I decided to go to Rong Guo Mansion to fight an autumn wind.
So, how did Grandma Liu fight this autumn wind?
The first time I went to RongGuo Mansion,
Grandma Liu's performance is not too much to be remarkable,
It gives the impression of an old woman who can still talk.
She was able to get twenty-two pieces of silver,
It was all about Madame Wang's nostalgia for the past and Wang Xifeng's mood that day.
The one who really tested Grandma Liu,
It was the second autumn of her second year into the Rongguo Mansion.
This time, Grandma Liu did not come empty-handed,
She brought a bag of dates, melons, and all kinds of wild vegetables.
As soon as she saw Ping'er, she said,
This year, two more stones of grain have been beaten, and melons, fruits and vegetables are also abundant.
This shows that she is not here to ask for money this time.
Instead, come and be thankful, carrying a maintenance relationship.
But there is no intention to plant willows.
Jammu was bored for a long time,
"I'm thinking of an old man talking to an old man.",
He asked Grandma Liu to meet her.
Grandma Liu's first reaction was to refuse,
Worried that I can't get on the big table,
But she quickly found her own position,
Understand the needs of Jia Mu and do what she likes,
Told Jia Mu a lot of rural experiences.
Jia Mu has always been able to entertain herself at home,
I felt fresh and interesting about everything That Grandma Liu said.
Not only does she love to listen, but the boys and ladies also love to listen,
The village stories brought by Grandma Liu were for the people of Jia Fuli
It is almost equivalent to a spiritual "farmhouse".
Grandma Liu has insight into this,
Some of them are made up,
This seventy-five-year-old lady,
A rural talk show was staged at Vinh Quoc House.
Grandma Liu can not only speak, but also act.
At the feast, Jia Mu just said "please",
She stood up and said in a loud voice:
"Old Liu Lao Liu's food is as big as an ox,
Eat an old sow without looking up. ”
He said and puffed up his cheeks.
The crowd was stunned at first, and then the audience burst into laughter,
This grounded country "laughing star",
It brought them unprecedented joy.
But not everyone is grateful for Grandma Liu's performance,
For example, Madame Wang.
Although she had to laugh with Jia Mu at that time,
But the heart is very unpleasant,
After all, Grandma Liu barely counted her mother's relatives.
Later, she specially gave Grandma Liu a hundred taels of silver,
Let her not turn to her relatives and friends in the future.
In the face of Grandma Liu, Lady Wang was obviously not as open-minded as Jia Mu.
Jia Mu is used to self-deprecation, and naturally feels nothing,
Madame Wang has always lived a tense life,
Put face first,
I couldn't see Grandma Liu pretending to be crazy and selling stupidity.
Those who could not see Liu Grandma's appearance were Also Dai Yu and Miao Yu.
The cup used by Grandma Liu, Miao Yu was not allowed to take it into the temple gate,
Dai Yu gave Liu Grandma a nickname, called "Mother Locust",
Describing Liu Grandma's way of eating sea plugs is ugly.
They couldn't understand, exaggerated hunger,
It is a necessity for Grandma Liu's survival.
Grandma Liu is a smart person.
Wang Xifeng and Mandarin Duck told her that the rules of the family,
When you say "the amount of food is as big as an ox" before eating,
Grandma Liu already understood
They were teasing her for everyone's amusement.
It's actually a bit excessive.
But Grandma Liu wanted to open,
"Let's coax the old lady to open her heart, but what's the annoyance",
"But let's make a joke.
I'm going to be upset, so I won't say it."
Grandma Liu thinks openly, people in this life,
Isn't it just laughing at people, and then being laughed at by others,
Why take it that seriously.
This is the basic cultivation of a person who fights autumn wind.
She knows exactly who she is, where she came from, where she's going.
So there's not that much messy emotion.
She coaxed the other person to be happy at the same time,
Carry yourself to be happy,
On the contrary, such people know more about gratitude.
I've always stressed,
I read "Dream of the Red Chamber" and only read the first eighty times,
How the story of the last forty times is told, and not to be said,
The temperament of the people in the book is too poor,
Dai Yu and Bao Yu were all beyond recognition.
I have an article specifically about this, and I will not mention it here,
Only in the first eighty times,
There is no plot of Liu Grandma Zhi'en Tu Bao,
But from Sister Qiao's sentence,
It is not difficult to deduce.
"The matter is lost, and the family is dead."
Occasionally, because of the Liu clan, he happened to meet a benefactor. ”
It couldn't be clearer here.
When the Jia family fell, Wang Xifeng himself was unable to protect,
When Sister Qiao was almost betrayed by her cruel uncle and adulterous brother,
It was Wang Xifeng who had rescued the Liu clan who stepped forward,
Rescue her from the trap of fate.
At this time, those who had laughed at Grandma Liu,
I can't help but be awe-inspired.
Then we can speculate,
For the time I was teased and ridiculed,
Grandma Liu didn't mind,
Even if you rely on a low body to get back a little benefit,
She still only has gratitude to Jia Fu.
Not everyone can do that.
Let's just say that we mentioned Miaoyu earlier,
She eats jia's drink Jia's,
But for the Jia family, it is not very friendly.
Li Yi said that she was most disgusted with Miaoyu as a person;
Dai Yu couldn't taste whether it was snow or rain,
Said by Miao Yu to be a great layman;
Baoyu said that the tea bowl she assigned to herself was a "vulgar vessel",
Miao Yu said,
You may not be able to find such a vulgar instrument in your home.
She always presents a high degree of aggression,
Maybe her aggression is just to be in a situation under the fence,
Just show your nobility.
Is Miaoyu really that noble?
On the tea utensils she gave baochao and daiyu,
Engraved with "Jin Wang Kai Zhen Play"
"Song Yuanfeng five years in April Meishan Su Shi saw in the secret palace" words,
It's confusing.
However, when she first entered the Grand View Garden,
Ben was with the little nuns that jia family bought,
A little drama,
It's just that Lin Zhixiao's family came to report to Madame Wang,
Saying that this Miaoyu claimed that "the Houmen Gongfu will oppress people with nobility, and I will not go again" and refused to enter the palace,
Her rejection was clearly a sensitivity that came from the cold door.
Madame Wang smiled slightly,
Understand Miaoyu's awkwardness, extra preferential treatment,
After giving her a post, Miao Yu changed her mind,
This face is also too good to give.
When Miao Yu poured tea for Jia Mu, he and Yan Yueshi,
Know the taste of Jia Mu very well,
She also has two faces.
Perhaps, those in the same Qin Keqing house
"The yarn that Xi Zihuan has had, the mandarin pillow that the red lady has hugged,
Wu Zetian had placed the treasure mirror, and Zhao Feiyan stood on the golden plate that had danced."
Like an artifact that expresses Qin Keqing's sexiness,
The so-called "Jin Wang Kai Zhen Play"
"Song Yuanfeng 5th year in April Meishan Su Shi appeared in the secret house"
And not really,
It only shows the temperament of the female WenQing Miaoyu.
In the second year of Yuan Feng, Su Shi was convicted of the "Wutai Poetry Case",
He was demoted to deputy envoy of the Huangzhou Regiment
(equivalent to the vice-captain of the modern folk self-defense forces),
YuanFeng has been spending five years, and his savings have been spent almost completely.
With the whole family to cultivate the land,
Who still has the heart to enjoy what teacup.
The author brings this particular point of time out,
The intention is obvious.
Miao Yu is the opposite of Liu Grandma.
She can't make life smooth,
Nor can you smooth yourself out.
Once there is a request for others,
Mr. Heart out of a little depressed,
With your own aggression,
to prove that he did not bow his head.
With all due respect,
This situation is very common among intellectuals.
It is natural for them to be favored,
Zhi En Tu Bao was too low in their view,
Miao Yu is so, Jia Yu Village is like this.
Even worse is the vengeful one,
Obviously they need help themselves,
but secretly regard this help as a kind of humiliation,
Hate your benefactor.
Grandma Liu has a good attitude,
It was because she had fallen from a high place,
After things, suffering,
She looks at the ups and downs of the world with a normal mind,
You will not be hurt by the ridicule and contempt of others.
She can see the essence through the phenomenon,
Seeing the essence of the fact that she was relieved by Jia Fu,
When Sister Qiao fell into distress, she helped,
It's all natural.
She knew that this was just mutual relief from people in impermanent worlds.
Accept destiny,
It does not mean that you will go against the grain and ignore the ridicule,
It doesn't mean that there is no skin and no face.
Grandma Liu has her own way of resisting suffering,
I also know where the so-called face should be.
It doesn't matter if others don't understand, life will always teach them to understand.
The above is selected from "Her Power: The Survival of women in the Red Chamber"
Source: Fudan University Press
Editor: Xu Nuo