The latest hot search triggered a discussion on the whole network.
Official survey results show a downward trend in young people's willingness to marry.
Moreover, women's willingness to marry is significantly lower than that of men.
Although the variety shows, films and televisions of marriage and love have not decreased.
But in real life, with the sharp increase in the pressure of life and the change of social concepts, many people choose to marry late or not.
And women are the majority.
As soon as the results of the survey came out, more and more people began to reflect on the nature of marriage.
As it happens, HBO recently aired a new drama.
Gather the top team and strip away the truth of marriage——
Married Life
Scenes from a Marriage
The play is a remake of the same name by film maestro Ingmar Bergman.
The original won the 1975 Golden Globe Award for Best Foreign Language Film.
So far, this film has a high score of 9.1 on Douban, which is better than 98% of romance films.
It was directed by Bergman after four failed marriages.
It is not appropriate to say that it is a romance film.
More precisely, it is a realistic masterpiece that reacquaints people with marriage, love, and self.
After it was broadcast on television that year, it raised the divorce rates in Sweden and Denmark.
With Zhu Yu in front, HBO's remake version does not dare to slack off.
Cass is a completely film lineup.
The heroine Jessica Chastain, the representative works "The Hunt for Bin Laden", "Lady Sloane", "Interstellar".
Because of the high production of filming, she is known as "Labor Model Sister".
There are many acting trophies including the Golden Globe queen.
The male protagonist, Oscar Isaac, was nominated for the Golden Globe emperor for "Drunken Folk Song".
The two played lovers in "The Year of the Most Violent" and were both nominated for awards.
The results of this second ride also lived up to expectations.
After five episodes were broadcast, the score rose to 8.7 points instead of dropping.
This drama is still about qian Zhongshu's expression in "Siege of the City"——
"Marriage is a walled city, and people outside the city want to go in, and people in the city want to come out."
At the beginning of the film, the male and female protagonists are interviewed by sociological researchers as a model couple.
It also took us to know the couple from a third perspective.
This is an American middle-class family with a male protagonist and a female protagonist.
The male protagonist, Jonathan (Oscar Isaac), is a university philosophy teacher.
He works flexibly and can work from home.
So he took care of most of the household chores, including with the children.
His wife, Mira (Jessica Chastain), is a vice president at a technology company.
A down-to-earth trapeze artist spends very little time with his family throughout the year.
Successful careers are the breadwinner of the family.
The love between the two sprouted from the university campus.
At that time, as a popular figure, Mira's charm was unstoppable.
It fascinated Jonathan at first sight.
But it wasn't until after graduating from work that the confused Mira was touched by Jonathan's sense of faith and developed a good feeling for him.
They naturally entered into marriage.
Today, she has been married for 10 years and has a lovely daughter of 4 years old.
This is already considered a model couple in the United States, which has an average marriage age of 8.2 years.
Moreover, although they have different divisions of labor, they have never had major differences of opinion.
In the eyes of onlookers, it is a rather happy family of three.
However, in fact, the seemingly happy marriage has long been full of rifts inside.
In the interview, some clues have emerged.
When answering the question "How to define yourself".
Jonathan said "man", "Jewish", "father"... Or even words like "asthma."
And Mira said that she was a "woman" and "mother" company executive" .
Didn't find it?
Both did not mention their identities as husbands and wives at all.
Apparently, they no longer have a sense of belonging to the marriage.
The two people's understanding of marriage is even more different.
In Jonathan's eyes, marriage is only a way, not an end and a destination for individuals.
The parties are still independent individuals, but they work and live better in the safe and stable space provided by the marriage.
And Mira believes that marriage is a delicate balance that both parties need to maintain together.
"At the beginning of a relationship, everything is exciting and novel. It feels like as long as you're together, nothing can hurt you. But slowly, you will feel that, in fact, anything can hurt you."
It can be seen that the man's attitude towards marriage is more personal and positive.
The woman's description of marriage is based on both parties, which is repressive or even powerless.
This is even more evident in their daily lives.
Jonathan sees marriage as a platform for self-improvement, and he tends to focus only on his own feelings, often ignoring his wife's emotional changes.
When his wife is away, he also habitually browses sites.
In order to maintain the sense of balance in marriage, Mira cannot truly express herself and cannot experience the happiness of doing as she pleases.
There is an outward decency and respect between them, barely supporting the empty shell of marriage.
The most typical is the reaction of both sides after Mira accidentally conceived her second child.
When Jonathan learned the news.
First he showed surprise, and then carefully asked Mera about her intentions.
But only a vague answer was received.
He actually wanted to keep this child in his heart.
Since he could not ask his wife what he really thought, he began to forcibly instill his will in her.
For example, if you forget to take the contraceptive pill once, you will win, indicating that Mila herself wants a child in her heart.
That sounds illogical, right?
Smart as Mira, of course, she could see through the man's true thoughts in a second.
She echoed bitterly:
"Yes, I wanted to give birth to a child too."
The daughter must be happy, and the parents must be happy.
However, when they hug each other for the decision to give birth to a child.
Jonathan's asthma was committed.
This exposed the panic in his heart.
Under this unexpected stimulus, The Miraso sex also showdown.
Bluntly speaking, the first childbirth left a great shadow on her.
Work is also deeply affected, and Jonathan can't empathize with it, and he can't help it.
Jonathan hugged Mila and kept comforting her.
The heartache was real, but it didn't shake his mind.
He still used various arguments, explicitly and implicitly, to persuade Mira to give birth to her second child.
He even took it upon himself to plan a living space for the newborn.
Completely unaware of the dim look in his wife's arms.
But in the end, they still didn't leave the child.
Mira underwent abortion accompanied by Jonathan.
It was the last time she had saved herself in a stagnant marriage.
Because she realized that she had long suppressed her true self in order to maintain the balance of marriage.
So this time, she listened to her heart, but also hoped to feel the happiness of marriage again from her husband's respect.
But it still failed.
After abortion surgery, it is accompanied by constant pain, vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness and other symptoms caused by contractions.
What makes It even more difficult for Merah to bear is that she actively abandons the child's mental pain.
In this regard, her husband not only could not give comfort, but also acted more helpless than she was.
Mira was worried about her husband's emotions until she was alone, only to overshadow the sheets and collapse alone.
Mira finally decided to make up her mind and completely escape the siege of marriage.
She cheated.
She showed off with her husband and confessed that her current marriage had left her unable to breathe.
Ignoring her husband's whispered pleas, she almost cruelly refused to leave.
After they separated, Jonathan also had a new girlfriend.
The two get rid of their dull marriage and each is trapped in a fresh, exciting relationship.
But who could have predicted that a year later, they would be inseparable.
Mira revealed her vulnerable side to Jonathan and proposed to compound.
After Jonathan was betrayed, he was afraid of being hurt again.
He also revealed his heart, and he read to Mira a diary that recorded his mental wounds.
That night, they slept in the same bed again.
Finally, even before signing the divorce agreement, I couldn't help but kiss and have sex.
Compared with the original, the novelty of this drama is the gender reversal of the character setting.
Bergman's original work presents the traditional conjugal model.
Economic status, family status, emotional status, are all strong men and weak women.
The husband cheated, and the wife repeatedly retained.
When the husband changed his mind, the wife also threw herself into the arms again.
In order to be close to the current social situation and women's discourse, this drama reverses the power positions of both sides.
But marriage is still the same result.
For the audience, there is one more marriage sample for reference.
There is also more room for reflection on the human level.
From the perspective of sex and love, marriage does seem to be contrary to human nature in many cases.
Mira wants to pursue passionate love, which is a normal, healthy desire.
But marriage is a contract that requires fidelity between partners.
It is all the more necessary for repeated compromises and concessions on both sides in exchange for stability and longevity.
Just like Jonathan, even though he has been betrayed, he still desperately begs the other party to keep the marriage intact.
However, it cannot be ignored that marriage also has a caring side to human nature.
Human nature is lonely and longs to rely on.
Mira has experienced failed feelings and has encountered great setbacks in her work.
After falling in love with Jonathan, she felt that love had healed her life and freed her from loneliness.
Later, although she tasted a moment of freshness and pleasure in her new love affair.
But soon I felt bored, empty, and lonely.
Because what she really misses is the sense of security she got in a lasting marriage.
This is at the level of law and human feelings, a full range of security.
A short and passionate passion and a long-lasting stable marriage are doomed to have both.
Many people blame this contradiction on the problem of monogamy.
But this is not necessarily the case.
A pair of friends of Mira and Jonathan practice open intimacy.
It seems that it can satisfy human desires without the shackles of fidelity.
But the problem is that it is difficult to maintain absolute boundaries, and emotionally it is also impossible to avoid injury.
In fact, the complexity is not marriage, but human nature.
Because of the complexity of people, love and marriage are so contradictory and difficult to understand.
Just like the couple in the play, they love each other because they are lonely.
But for the sake of marriage, they have to endure more loneliness.
In the end, it was they themselves who personally broke the "model" marriage that lasted for ten years.
The propositions explored in this play are the same as those in "Marriage Story".
Infidelity is just the fuse of a marriage breakdown.
The last straw that crushed the camel.
It leads to the struggle between the two parties' self and dignity in intimate relationships.
Marriage Story
In the final analysis, the eternal contradiction between the marriage system and human nature cannot be avoided.
Just like the sentence that yang Mengen, a stand-up comedian, said when he proposed marriage on the show a few days ago:
"In this world, there are no naturally good people, only civilized people who are bound."
Implicitly, he knew that marriage was a shackle that bound human nature.
But he was willing to accept the supervision of the whole society for her, and put on this shackle himself.
Many people, when interpreting this sentence, quoted a book review:
"When a newlywed gets married, he should not hold the Bible in his hand and say that no matter whether he is poor, rich, healthy, sick, or sick, he should put his hand on the Evolutionary Psychology and the Selfish Gene, and swear: I will go against my nature, rebel against my instincts, and love you forever." 」
Coincidentally, this sentence also appeared in the comment section of "Married Life".
The essence of marriage may be "knowing that there are tigers in the mountains, preferring to walk in the tiger mountains."
It is greedy demand, helpless compromise;
Also a strong alliance, a stable rear.
The siege of marriage may not be solved for most people in their lifetime.
But fortunately, we still have the power to start or end a marriage.