In fact, in order to escape from the primitive family and make yourself stronger, you usually rely on art and a large number of books to distract yourself. It's just that I'm becoming more and more of a person I hate, trying to get closer to my family, but it's hard to walk in. I don't quite understand why, as long as I resist, my mother will hit me with the most mean, demeaning, shameless language, I can feel that she has to take the lead, and every time I do this, I will immediately appear as their young violent rambling, making me lose sleep for a week. I wanted to live separately from her too much, but I couldn't open my mouth. Waking up too early today, I wanted to find someone to talk to, and last night I had an anxious urge to jump off a building or commit suicide. Also, the door in my house has been slammed by her almost, and every time I get angry, I will slam the door, deliberately making a loud noise, so I am particularly nervous when I hear the loud sound. I wanted to kill her, and I wanted to kill myself. Hope she knows it quickly and herself, I don't want to live with her for a day. It only makes me more miserable...