The doctor said that he was only infected with HIV, to be precise, AIDS and HIV infected people are completely different things, not that all HIV infected people can be converted to AIDS, as long as you regularly check, take drugs, control the number of CD4 is not less than 350, after taking drugs for a period of time, regularly test the viral load, you can live like a normal person for so long...
5.
Waiting is the hardest thing in the world, and a pair of bitter lovers seems to have waited as long as two centuries. Two days, 48 hours, 2880 minutes, every minute is the torment of the heart. The results of the re-examination came out quickly, the handsome HIV was still positive, fortunately Xiao Yao was not infected, her blood test was negative, and the doctor said that her immune system was better than the average person.
Even with such mixed results, the two still felt that the arrows were piercing the heart, and a pair of young lovers held their heads and cried.
Xiao Yao was not reconciled, how could his beloved people have such a disaster? She kept asking the doctor: "Doctor, is there any possibility of a mistake in the test?" Is there any? Did you detect an error..."
The doctor solemnly said to her: "I don't want our test to be wrong, but we are the CDC that specializes in hive testing, I am a worker specializing in HIV prevention and treatment, we will be responsible for the test results of every person who is identified as hive- and your lover's blood test is a retest, and the results will certainly be accurate." ”
The doctor turned back to He Yingjun and said, "Young man, we must respect science, and you should not have any worries, as long as you receive regular examinations and take medicine according to the doctor's instructions, you can live like a normal person." ”
Xiao Yao also wanted to ask how to receive treatment next, and Before she could open her mouth, she ran out like crazy.
Xiao Yao had to stop asking to chase after Handsome.
As soon as they ran out of the hospital gate, Xiao Yao threw up wow, and his stomach was as uncomfortable as the sea, and even his intestines felt like they were about to spit out.
Handsome thought that Xiao Yao was scared silly, and rushed forward to hug her lover to comfort her, just about to stretch out his arm, he suddenly shrank back like an electric shock, just now the doctor's words are still in his ears: You should pay attention not to infect your fiancée in the future...
The doctor said so many things, and he remembered only this sentence in his panic. In fact, the doctor said very clearly: you are only infected with HIV virus, to be precise, AIDS and HIV infection are completely different things, not that all HIV infected people can be converted into AIDS, as long as you regularly check, take medicine, control the number of CD4 can not be less than 350, after taking medication for a period of time, regular detection of viral load, can be like a normal person to live for so long. The doctor simply instructed that you must take protective measures when you have sex with your lover in the future, and you can also have children. In general, the transmission rate of your mother-infant blockade treatment without mother-infant blockade is 20%-30%, and if you take mother-infant blocking treatment, the transmission rate of children can be reduced to about 2%. Usually, even a small appendix surgery has a small risk, so you can have a baby. You can increase your chances of pregnancy by not taking measures during the dangerous period of your lover, but you must use a good quality condom for contraception during the safe period. After giving birth to a child, you must insist on using condoms to live a married life...
The doctor said so much bitterly, he only remembered a doctor's advice, be careful not to infect the lover. He hasn't even figured out how AIDS spreads.
He instinctively withdrew his hands that wanted to embrace his lover, and Ren Xiaoyao squatted on the ground alone uncomfortable and sad.
"Let's go back." Xiao Yao stood up strongly alone, looked up and bravely extended an olive branch of tolerance to Handsome.
"No! I don't go back, I can't hurt you, I don't have the face to go back with you to face your parents who look at me like a biological son..." The five-foot boy cried like a child in despair, and he sat on the lawn of the hospital.
The boy, who had never shed tears after understanding things, let the tears flood like a flood that broke the embankment.
The tearful Xiao Yao watched the lovers who had been holding hands and were confused into a mess. After pursuing my dreams for so many years, the promise of holding hands still echoes in my ears, this man must be the person who is destined to appear in my life, not an accidental guest in my fate in this life. We can meet and fall in love at the same school, and that must be a predestined arrangement from Heaven. How can I bear to abandon this rare miracle that life has given me? It is often said that five hundred times of looking back in a previous life can be exchanged for the passing shoulders of lovers in this life. My meeting and falling in love with him in this life is definitely a destiny destined by heaven, the origin of the fate is extinguished, the fate is scattered, everything is providence. He is now like a survivor who fell under a cliff, how much he needs to be comforted and rescued! How could I cruelly drop another stone and make him smash his head and bleed before he died in despair. His misintendent indulgence was only the resentment and revenge caused by the scars his parents had inflicted on his young mind. What's more, he is now fully awakened and is trying to forge ahead, and at this moment, if I don't pull him well, it is tantamount to letting him die alone at the bottom of the cliff alone in despair. When I was a child, my parents taught me many times that tolerating others is a kind of cultivation and virtue, to forgive people's difficulties, to promote people's strengths, to forgive people's faults, and to treat others well is to be kind to yourself.
After a short painful struggle, Xiao Yao bravely extended his warm hands to his lover again: "Who said that AIDS patients can't have love?" With me, you don't have to be afraid of anything, no matter what happens in life, as long as the two of us never give up our efforts, there will be no disaster that can completely crush us! ”
No matter how tenderly Xiao Yao knew the reason, moved with affection, handsome did not want to listen to a word.
"God knows how long I'll live?" All I want now is to hide alone in a corner where no one is, not eating or drinking, and slowly dying. I can't be too selfish and let your happiness gamble with me for an unknown future..." handsomely said.
"What's going to happen tomorrow, who knows?" Do you think you're worthy of my love for you when you leave me? What about your old courage? Where is your courage? I see you can't face your own heart, right? Are you afraid that others will know that you are an AIDS patient and lose your face? You are liberated, what should I do? Xiao Yao knew that the real fear and biggest enemy in her lover's heart now was that she would not be able to accept the fact that she had this disease for a while and a half, and she wanted to stimulate him with the radical method.
Time did not forget to turn because of the noise and pain of their lovers, and night soon came. The hospital no longer had the noise of the day, and gradually became more and more cold. Doctors and nurses have long since returned home from work, and there are no longer doctors and nurses and endless family members to accompany them in and out, except for this pair of poor lovers on the lawn.
Handsome did not want to go home with Xiao Yao, Xiao Yao refused to go home alone, and the two lovers who were deeply in love were deadlocked with each other. He refused to eat, refused to talk to Xiao Yao, and hunched over the grass alone, like a shrimp without breath of life. Her clear and pure eyes, full of bitterness and helplessness, accompanied him to starve, sad and weeping, tired at the handsome heels, like a desperate lamb about to be slaughtered.
The hour hand ticked and quietly moved several times, adding a bit of coolness to the late spring night. Xiao Yao shivered a little, and couldn't help but cough softly, and gradually, the cough became more and more intense. Her nose shrank in the silence of the night, and finally attracted the attention of the handsome. He suddenly woke up, how can I be so selfish? Let the woman who loves me deeply accompany me to grieve and cry, and endure hunger! He struggled to beat his spirit and called softly: "Haruka, you get up, I will send you home." ”
Xiao Yao cried with joy and quickly got up from the grass, and the previous disappointment, grievances, and frustration were all released at the moment when handsome called. She reached out to her lover, "Let's go home!" ”
Handsome hesitated, after all, he did not put his hand over, he stood next to Haruka, pointed to the road with his finger, and said with a bitter smile: "Haruka, let's go over there and take a taxi home!" ”
Xiao Yao's heart seemed to be suddenly stung by a horse bee, and because of this magic disease, they suddenly became so strange and awkward. She understood his concerns, as a college student, Xiao Yao usually watched some TV and movies related to AIDS, and was not stupid enough to think that holding hands between lovers would also be infected with AIDS, and Handsome's current concern was only because the disaster came too suddenly, and he was too nervous and afraid.
6.
It was nearly midnight when the couple returned to the rental house in despair. Handsome withered, decadent to the extreme. As soon as he entered the door, he sat stupidly on the floor, as if sitting on the couch, lying on the bed would also infect the distant distance. After a long day of grief and hunger, Xiao Yao was exhausted to the point of collapse, lying on the bed and coughing weakly.
"You get a cup of boiling water and I drink it, it's so uncomfortable." Xiao Yao didn't know what was going on, and his body was very uncomfortable. Handsome got up and poured water for Haruka, and he wrapped toilet paper tightly around the handle of the teapot and teacup, carefully doing it all.
Distant love and hate, but still taking into account his little bit of pitiful self-esteem, can only be kind and comforting: "Honey, I have long determined that you are a rich gift from God, instead of worrying about the unpredictable future, we should grasp the happiness of the present; even if our future has no wine and food, no champagne and coffee, no flowers and friends, but I will run with you and face AIDS together." You are a college student in the twenty-first century, you can find information in many ways, the general daily life is not infected, the doctor also said, we can get married, we can also have children like normal people, as long as we consult and treat diligently, we can be like a normal couple whitehead to old age. In the days to come, I just need to have your singing voice to accompany me, other women don't have this treatment for me! ”
Xiao Yao's sincere confession from the bottom of his heart still can't redeem handsome as a man's poor self-esteem. In the darkness her tears lapping at her cheeks, how much she wished handsome could hug her and comfort her. However, the handsome man sat there quietly without a sound, as if time and space were still. In fact, handsome did not stop thinking for a moment, he thought a lot these days, he did not want to hug his lover, have love, but love a person will make her happy. If in the future they have children, his children are known to others that his father is an AIDS person, this life will bring endless pain to the children, which is no different from being an illegitimate child, and there is only a feeling of shame when talking about the father.
He could not forgive his mistakes, and after a thousand times of ideological struggle, he secretly resolved in his heart that leaving Xiao Yao would be better than short pain. He doesn't want to gamble on the happiness of his lover's life, loving someone can't make her cry, can't let her lose, this girl has too much affection for herself, he can't be too selfish. Forget it, give it up! Maybe Heaven has long predestined that I can only accompany you for a while, and sooner or later we will be separated. Although those sweet memories are still vividly remembered, his illness can only be faint with Xiao Yao' respective ends, and he must never be in contact with them again. Handsome fights again and again with his heart. He silently packed his clothes, the love this woman had given him was too deep and persistent, and he was now no longer qualified to accept her pure and intense love. He believed that his desperate escape today would be able to exchange for her happy and comfortable life in the future.
Xiao Yao's heart was exhausted, she knew that Handsome did that because she didn't want to bother her, so she had to delay the time and keep him first.
Yaoyuan looked at handsome with a pitiful look of chuchu and begging eyes: "I'm very uncomfortable now, you can't ignore me at this time, can you?" Tomorrow you will take me to the hospital to see a doctor, today a whole day of stomach acid, vomiting, what if I have stomach cancer? Are you going to leave me behind and go away alone? ”
"I'm just going to ignore you, what are you going to do?" I tell you, I used to go out to find a lady when I was in college and was infected with AIDS, can you stand it? I will soon be out of work, I can't even guarantee my own food and clothing, will you go find a lover to support me..." He Yingjun suddenly lost his temper like an out-of-control mental patient.
Xiao Yao knew that he wanted to lie to the scoundrel, to anger her, and to make her completely dead.
"Are you a scoundrel and there is no way out?" Staged such a dog-blood plot, you watched more TV series, right? I don't care what you did before, I just now, you have to accompany me to the doctor, want to run errands, the door is not..." Xiao Yao understood that for a boy with particularly strong self-esteem, he should never talk to him anymore.
Sure enough, He Yingjun was frightened by Xiao Yao and obediently obeyed her orders.
"Well, I'll take you to the doctor tomorrow." Handsome was frightened by Xiao Yao on the surface, in fact, in his heart he thought so, Yao Yao may just have suffered from the wind chill yesterday, no other big trouble, tomorrow I will send Xiao Yao to the hospital after the arrangement, call her mother, ask the aunt to take care of Yao Yao, I will take the opportunity to leave.
In the early morning, looking in the mirror, Xiao Yao found that her tears had wet her sleepless eye circles all night, and her stomach was as uncomfortable as the sea.
The hospital is really one of the most crowded and prosperous places in the world, with a long queue at every window, each person holding a few test sheets, examination forms, and payment slips, and everyone's eyes show anxiety and confusion.
After handsome people hung up the number, he let her sit on a bench in the hospital hall and wait. He took advantage of the gap in the queue to call his aunt, lying that he was going to do some urgent things, and he was sick in the hospital and asked her to take care of it first.
Xiao Yao sat in the gastroenterology waiting room waiting hall, handsome said to her: "Yaoyao, you are waiting here, I went out to the bathroom, bought a bottle of mineral water, and will come back in a moment." ”
Walking out of the hospital gate, handsome stopped a taxi and hurried home. Sitting on the couch and looking around, the house was full of distant air, full of the smell of their love. He took his luggage, stood up, sat down; stood up again, sat down again...
If he marries Haruka and has a child, if he lets others know that he is an AIDS patient in the future, he will definitely bring humiliation, suspicion, pain and sadness to Haruka and his children; he is even more afraid of accidentally infecting them and letting them suffer the pain and suffering of the disease with him... After thinking about it many times, he felt that men would rather die standing in the face of great calamities than live on their knees in the face of life and death. It's better to leave her everything that was once the best than to leave her with a mess. Handsome finally made up his mind, resolutely left the love nest that had once given him warmth, and decided not to leave a single word. He didn't want to leave any thoughts for Xiao Yao, so he walked thoroughly and let Xiao Yao die.
"It turns out that what defeated us was not betrayal, not money, not the disparity in status, but my illness, but from now on we will be separated forever!" "Only because people are sick, they can't gather and disperse by you and me!" The handsome ideological struggle was fierce, and he remembered Jacky Cheung's "Autumn Yi Nong" and changed a word sadly.
The doctor carefully inquired about Haruka's condition, then asked her if she was married, and suggested that she go to the obstetrics and gynecology department. Xiao Yao was a little confused, and the doctor said that you may be pregnant.
Haruka walked out of the examination room in a trance, and the doctor's words were like a time bomb, blowing her overwhelmed. Originally her own menstruation has been a little unschedulable, this time in order to design works so busy, even forgot that "relatives" have not come to see her for a long time, and this child is now how out of date, if you know a few days in advance, she and Handsome don't know how happy, Mom and Dad have long been urging the two of them to hold a wedding. What about suddenly remembering a handsome man in a distant trance? Go to the toilet, buy a bottle of mineral water, and use it for so long?
Xiao Yao was depressed, originally in the hospital and could not find the direction, handsome was not around, there was no opinion, the phone was unplugged countless times and no one answered, the text messages sent were like stones sinking into the sea, and her heart skimmed a trace of ominous omen. She turned left and right, looked east and west for half a day, and finally found the sign of the gynecological clinic and slowly walked in the direction of the gynecological clinic.
Frustrated, she was ready to hang up a gynecological number, when suddenly, the phone rang and she was ecstatic to answer, but it was her mother who called.
"Mom..." Haruka only called her mother together and burst into tears, only to know that she was crying and whimpering and unable to say a word.
"Far away, where are you in the hospital?" Handsome called me to say that there was an urgent matter to go out, and asked me to come and take care of you, I had arrived at the hospital's internal medicine clinic and did not find you. Xiao Yao's mother was frightened, and as soon as the phone was connected, her daughter cried loudly, "Cub, what's wrong with you?" Don't cry first, catching a cold is not a serious illness, first tell your mother where you are. ”
(This is not a story meeting, this is the true story of people living with HIV and AIDS, just these stories are fictionalized.) They also had a wonderful love, but because... Follow the "Walking with Ai" series to tell you more of their love stories that have been turned thousands of times. ）