Doing things, like being a person, requires "caution".
"Tsang Shik Keung's Daily Proverbs"
The full text of the | is 2800 words, and it takes 10 minutes to read in depth, benefiting | for life
The three words "I'm sorry" seem to be the most commonplace in our daily lives, and they are often hung up on our lips.
Fashionable young people, in particular, carry large backpacks on their backs, but swing around arbitrarily.
When I walked over, I touched the head of a certain person and quickly said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Walking back, he hit a certain person's head again, and quickly said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." ”
I would like to ask, if you were a certain A, how would you feel?
People who are too easy to say sorry don't seem to take sorry seriously at all. When he said he was sorry, it was like a little monk chanting the sutra, with no heart.
You ask him, why is this happening? He may answer: Everyone is like this!
Westerners often say "I'm sorry" among themselves, but Chinese originally said it very carefully.
Some foreigners like to complain Chinese dare not admit their mistakes, refuse to say sorry, I am wrong! As a result, Chinese also began to echo: love face, so do not admit mistakes.
Some people say that we find reasons, some people say that we are better decorated, and some people say that we talk about facades and find our own ladders to get off the stage. Are you sure? It doesn't seem like that.
The three words "sorry" in Chinese are of great wisdom, not so easy to say, and even less so simple literally.
1 People who often say sorry are making up for their mistakes by pushing responsibility
A person casually saying sorry is a sign of irresponsibility and pushing responsibility.
Honestly, putting the blame on the other person is Chinese very good at it.
Let's say you're waiting at the airport, 9:30 is the departure time of the plane, and the result is that there is no information until 9:25.
When you walked into the counter and asked when to board the plane, the counter lady said please listen to the radio. As soon as he finished speaking, the radio began to shout: "Passengers who take Dragon Airlines to Kaohsiung, please board the plane from Gate 9 as soon as possible." ”
If you don't move, you have to move as fast as you can, why? The counter lady has a very good reason: because if you don't say as fast as you can, there will be passengers who will swallow slowly, causing everyone to wait for him.
You see, it turned out to be the responsibility of the passenger: "If there were no such passengers, how could we broadcast like this?" ”
The plane moved, as if it were about to take off. The aircraft began to broadcast: "Welcome to Dragon Airlines, due to passenger delays, this flight has been slightly delayed, please forgive me." ”
The delay in the departure of the aircraft is again the responsibility of the passenger to be late!
Chinese no matter how big or small it is, you can push the responsibility to others.
For example, when the husband goes out to go home, he sees his wife standing at the door arguing with passers-by, indiscriminately, immediately joins the "war" line, stands on the side of the wife, and pushes the responsibility to the other party.
The customer sat down at the soy milk shop and shouted, "Come here's a bowl of sweet soy milk, a burnt cake and a fritter." "The waiter should not answer, because there are many guests, if everyone shouts and then responds loudly, it will not be troublesome, do not make a mistake."
But the waiter brought a bowl of salted soy milk. The customer said, "Miss, I want it sweet." The waiter wondered: "Obviously I heard you say that you want to be salty, how did it become sweet again?" ”
The customer replied affirmatively: "You are mistaken!" The waiter was equally determined: "Sir, I am not wrong, you are wrong!" ”
When government officials review the lack, they must also push the responsibility to the people below, saying that the people below are obedient and get by, which leads to such a result.
Why did I never think that I had always been in a high position in the past few years, and I had not just returned from a foreign country, and I was supervising, directing, and grasping the direction every day, but now I had no responsibility at all.
Each of us must understand that responsibility cannot be pushed away, and the more people who want to push it, the more they can't push it.
But, looking at it, if the whole society is like this now, how will we live with ourselves?
With the bad mentality of pushing the responsibility out, even if you say "sorry" more, there is no point.
2 Everything is compensated with "sorry" and is not welcome
Although modern Chinese can also hang "sorry" like Westerners, which seems very polite.
But in Chinese's view, it is: "What is the use of being sorry?" ”
For example, the plane was delayed, Mr. Wang sat on the plane, thinking that the plane had not yet taken off, everyone was busy, it was better to close their eyes and recuperate, and take the opportunity to rest.
Where do you know that the gentleman sitting next to him suddenly stood up and opened the luggage rack above his head, and a bottle of XO hit Mr. Wang's head impartially.
Although Miss Aviation repeated the warning tirelessly on each flight, please be careful to open the luggage rack to avoid the luggage slipping off. But the speaker is earnest, and the listener is often contemptuous.
At this time, Mr. Wang shouted and held his head, and his expression was quite painful. The gentleman next door stood aside and kept saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" ”
An old man next to him pointed out to him: "What is the use of being sorry?" Don't hurry up and help him rub it! ”
The gentleman next to him woke up like a dream, and quickly grabbed Mr. Wang's head with one hand, and kept rubbing the impact with the other hand.
If you are careful not to drop your luggage, you don't have to say sorry.
If you accidentally drop your luggage and hit someone else, you should quickly find a way to make up for it with practical actions, which is much more practical than saying sorry all the time.
Of course, if you accidentally drop a piece of paper and only cause slight uneasiness, you can use "sorry" to solve.
It can be seen that the utility of "sorry" is really very small.
Once it is enlarged, as if anything can be compensated with "sorry", it is a very unwelcome move by the crowd.
And, in general, "sorry" can only be used to express a considerable degree of apology to strangers or people who don't have enough friendship.
When the friendship is enough, you should go further and come up with specific ways to compensate, and the effect is relatively good.
"Sorry" is often used for bottom to top and less commonly for top to bottom.
When an elder says "I'm sorry" to a junior, the junior is quite uncomfortable.
It's not that authority or hierarchy is at work, but Chinese understands best that it is our elders or superiors who say sorry to us, and it is always our reasoning that suffers losses.
When the boss said "I'm sorry" to his subordinates, he couldn't help but feel a little unhappy.
The subordinates also calmly accepted the superior's sorry, which further prompted the superior to grasp the shortcomings of the subordinates, and the result was, of course, the subordinates were not happy.
In any case, such sorry is actually not accepted and welcomed, do not say it on the lips, where is there something in the heart that is not muttered?
3 Do not say "sorry", is the superior
We need to know that sorry has two meanings.
A completely formal one, with the mouth saying sorry and the heart not feeling the slightest sense of sorry.
Some people are so serious that they joke with sorry, they think: Anyway, as long as you just say sorry, there is nothing to do, what else can not be joked?
The other is substantive, and I feel so sad and so sorry that I can't even say sorry.
For example, the sister lost the ball in the living room and accidentally hit the brother.
Parents, should they teach their little sister to say "I'm sorry" to her brother? Or did she run over and rub her brother's sore spots, and then let the ball play with his brother?
If you teach your sister to say sorry to your brother, will you develop the habit of her not being careful? Anyway, smashing people and saying sorry can be, what to worry about?
If you teach her to quickly let the ball to her brother to play, in order to apologize, will it increase her vigilance, it is best not to throw the ball, otherwise it is quite unfavorable to herself?
Chinese parents are not accustomed to teaching their children to pay compensation to others and say sorry, which has less to do with politeness and has little to do with face.
The greatest intention should be to teach children to be careful in everything and not to make mistakes.
We are a nation that "emphasizes reality and not form", and once something goes wrong, we should "make up for it" with practical actions.
Let children develop the habit of saying sorry from an early age, will they relax themselves and often do something that is really sorry for others?
It is impossible for a man not to make mistakes if he is not a sage.
Confucius only taught us to "not to make mistakes", not to make mistakes again and again, and did not ask us to never make mistakes.
However, doing things, like being a person, requires "caution".
At the beginning, it is necessary to consider whether it will cause inconvenience to others and whether it will cause uneasiness to others.
If you can, you must try to avoid, cultivate yourself, manage yourself, always be cautious, be careful in everything, and don't do things that are sorry for yourself or others.
This way you don't have to say sorry, instead of doing it, and then go around saying sorry.
In case of an accident and something that is sorry for others, you must also apologize from the bottom of your heart, and you cannot casually say that you are sorry.
In short, Chinese should not always want to push out the responsibility, but should pay attention to self-discipline and not do things that are sorry for others.
Therefore, it is not necessary to say sorry often, because you have not done anything to be sorry for others.
Doing everything without saying "I'm sorry" is the really superior Chinese.
Contents of this article: A compilation of Professor Zeng's writings
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