Every event has its own inevitable cause and at the same time an inevitable result, and we tend to ignore their intrinsic connection. I believe that everyone can get inspiration from this story and put it into action, and may you all have something to gain.
It's a true story about a bullied child, a troubled mother and a counselor.
Sachiko (housewife, 41 years old) has been very troubled lately. His son, Takeshi, who was in the 5th grade of elementary school, was bullied at school. Saying that he was bullied did not seem to be beaten, that is, his classmates ignored him and blamed him for everything.
When Sachiko pressed him, his son denied it: No one has bullied me.
Looking at her son's loneliness, Sachiko felt a wave of heartache.
My son loves baseball because he has no friends to play with, and when he comes back from school, he can only go to the park alone to practice pitching against the wall.
But two years ago, my son used to play baseball with friends a lot.
One day, Sachiko came back from shopping and was passing by elementary school when she saw her son playing baseball with his friends.
Because of one of his son's mistakes, he lost points and was loudly reprimanded by his friends.
"You guy, how can you be so stupid?" "Blame you, we lost 3 points" "If you lose, it's all your responsibility" Sachiko thought: The son is indeed almost in terms of motor nerves, but the son has his own advantages, he is very kind at heart.
Sachiko was annoyed to see that her son's merits were not recognized by everyone.
Moreover, seeing her teammates talking so harshly to her son, but her son was laughing and apologizing, Sachiko felt sad in her heart.
After that, my son didn't have any friends to play baseball with him. I heard everyone say that he "dragged the whole team's hind legs and didn't take you to play" For my son, no one asked him to play baseball, which was the saddest thing.
Sachiko could feel that her son's tantrums with him had increased significantly recently.
But the son never tells Sachiko about his own sadness and loneliness.
The saddest thing for Sachiko is that her son does not talk to himself and always stubbornly says "I'm fine".
Sachiko once tried to teach her son how to get along with his friends, but every time his son always said, "Don't worry, you don't care about me."
Sachiko also asked her son, "Why don't we transfer schools?" The son was anxious: "If you do this, I will hate you for the rest of your life!!! ”
One day, after returning home from school, my son went to the park to play for a while, and then he came back angrily.
"What's wrong?" Sachiko asked. "Nothing". The son didn't want to say.
A phone call let Sachiko know the truth of the matter.
That night, the wife of the neighbor who wanted to be good called.
"Sachiko, did Takeshi-jun tell you?" "What's the matter?" Nothing."
"Today in the park, I took my family on a swing, saw Wu Zhi practicing pitching against the wall, then came 7 or 8 classmates who seemed to be Wu Zhi, and said to Wu Zhi: Pull over, we want to play the game of smashing and catching balls. Moreover, one of the children also deliberately smashed the ball at Takeshi, and Takeshi went home at that time, and I was stunned there, I didn't do anything for him, and I felt very sorry for Takeshi, so I called you."
Sachiko was stunned, this happened, why didn't Takeshi say anything to me?.
The child's heart is so uncomfortable, but he does not confide in himself for half a sentence, and Sachiko feels nameless sadness.
That night, Sachiko didn't even have the strength to ask her son what had happened.
2
The next day, Sachiko made up her mind to call someone.
He is her husband's senior name is Suzuki.
Sachiko hadn't spoken to Mr. Suzuki before, but a week ago, her husband gave suzuki's business card to himself.
Suzuki was a senior member of her husband's kendo department in high school. The husband also has not been with him for 20 years, and the husband said that he walked on the road one day and met by chance.
Old classmates rarely met, went into the café and chatted for more than 2 hours.
He said Suzuki is a consultant, good at psychology, and often solves problems for businesses and individuals.
That day the husband and Suzuki talked about their son, and Suzuki said he could help.
When my husband returned that day, he said, "You call him directly, I've said hello to him, and gave Sachiko Suzuki's business card."
Sachiko once asked disapprovingly, "Why should I fight?" I don't know him, how to consult, how good is it for you to consult directly."
The husband said, "I'm worried about you, haven't you been bothered about Takeshi's affairs, that's why I consulted with Suzuki." ”
Sachiko: "You mean I have a problem??? Of course I am troubled, I am the mother of the child, you drive the truck outside all day, it is idle, but it is me who educates wuzhi, of course, you do not bother with me. I don't go to suzuki to consult with him, he definitely doesn't know how to educate children."
When Sachiko said this, she threw the business card on the table.
However, after yesterday's events, Sachiko was completely depressed, and like a drowning person, she wanted to grasp all the straws that saved her life: "Save me!!! Whoever it is, it's too painful and too uncomfortable for me to go on like this," she thought, remembering Mr. Suzuki and immediately found the business card.
After her son went to school for an hour, she turned her heart across and dialed Suzuki's phone.
At that time, Sachiko did not even think about what was going to happen that day.
3
The lady at the front desk forwarded the phone to Suzuki. After Sachiko said her name, she felt Suzuki's voice very cheerful, "Should I consult him about this kind of thing?" Sachiko was a little dazed inside.
Suzuki: "You're Oda Jun's wife, right?" Sachiko: "Yes"
Suzuki: "Ah, it's really you, the first time we met, I took care of you."
Sachiko: "That..., my husband told you, right?" ”
Suzuki: "Yeah, he told me something, like you're bothering about your son," didn't you?" ”
Sachiko: "Can I ask you?" ”
Suzuki: "Now I have 1 hour, if you can, you can talk to me on the phone." ”
Sachiko simply recounted her son's bullying, his isolation, and what happened yesterday.
After hearing this, Suzuki said, "It seems that you are really in pain, as a mother, there is nothing more painful than this."
Hearing these words, Sachiko couldn't help but burst into tears.
Suzuki felt Sachiko start crying, and he waited until Sachiko calmed down before he began to say, "Madam, if you really want to solve this problem, it should not be difficult."
"It shouldn't be difficult to ???" Sachiko couldn't believe that.
This is something that has plagued me for several years and cannot be solved.
"If I can solve it, I am willing to do anything, and I will do what I say, but what should I do to solve it?"
Suzuki: "Okay, let's take a look. First of all, it's obvious that you're blaming someone around you."
Sachiko: "Huh? What do you mean? ”
Suzuki: "Maybe what I said spans a lot, so I should explain it theoretically first, but that will take time, and I don't have enough time now, so let's start with the conclusion." Theoretically, I have every reason to say this, and I will introduce you to some books on psychology later, and now I will say the conclusion: your beloved son is reproached by people who are upset because you are not thankful for the people you should be thanking, but have been blaming them for causing."
Sachiko: "What does the fact that children are bullied have anything to do with my personal personal affairs?" How does it sound like religion? ”
Suzuki: "Generally speaking, everyone thinks so. Because what we get in school is all about material science. I'm talking about the laws of psychology that were discovered a long time ago, and you can think of it as well understood as religion says. But I state in advance that I myself have not joined any religion"
Sachiko: "Then tell me something about psychology."
Suzuki: "What happens in reality is a 'result', and there must be a 'result' for it, that is, the reality in your life is a mirror that reflects your soul." For example, if you look in the mirror and notice, "Ah, today's hairstyle is a little messy", or "Oh, my appearance is not good today", without the mirror, you would not notice your own image, right? Therefore, we must treat everything in life as a mirror, with this mirror, we can pay attention to ourselves, we can know how to change ourselves, life is to make our soul continue to grow and elaborate."
Sachiko: "So what does my troubles illuminate me?" ”
Suzuki: "The result of what happened to you is 'your beloved son is being blamed by others, and you feel pain', and the reason that can be considered is that you 'the person you should cherish, you blame him', the person who should be thanked, the person around you, have you been blaming him? For example, your husband, what do you think of your husband? ”
Sachiko: "I'm thanking my husband, he's a truck driver, and because of his labor, we can live as a family." ”
Suzuki: "That couldn't be better, so, do you value your husband?" Do you respect him? ”
Hearing the word "respect," Sachiko chuckled in her heart.
From Sachiko's point of view, the optimistic husband is a person who has no "foresight" and is also a "person without quality".
It is true that Sachiko graduated from college in 4 years, but her husband graduated from high school.
Not only that, but her husband's language is rough and he doesn't like to read, so he reads popular magazines.
For Sachiko, who likes to read, she has always thought in her heart: When her son grows up, he must not be like her husband.
Sachiko told Suzuki the truth about this idea.
Suzuki: "Do you think that the value of life is determined by quality, knowledge, foresight, etc."?" ”
Sachiko: "No, I never thought that way, I think everyone has their own merits." ”
Suzuki: "So why do you think your husband is 'unqualified' and look down on him?" ”
Sachiko: "Well,,This," it seems that I have a conflict in my heart, right?" ”
Suzuki: "How is your relationship with your husband?" ”
Sachiko: "I often get angry with my husband's words and deeds, and sometimes quarrel with him. ”
Suzuki: "Have you talked to your husband about children?" ”
Sachiko: "I often complain about my husband when my children are bullied. It's just that I can't accept my husband's opinion, so I haven't had a good talk with him. Probably in my opinion, the husband is the most difficult type to accept. ”
Suzuki: "Well, it seems that you have a fundamental problem, which must be solved before accepting your husband." ”
Sachiko: "Fundamental question?" ”
Suzuki: "Yes, first of all you have to find the root cause of your inability to accept your husband, please tell me, are you grateful to your father?" ”
Sachiko: "Huh? My father? That, of course... Thanks."
Suzuki: "In a corner of your heart, do you have the idea of "never forgive" for your father?" ”
Sachiko was deeply touched by the phrase "never forgive."
Indeed, he may not have forgiven his father yet.
Although I thought I should thank my father, I couldn't like my father in my heart.
After marriage, although every year on Obon Festival and New Year's Day, I took my family back to my mother's house to visit my parents, but I said a few words of greeting to my father and did not talk much.
If you think about it, since high school, the relationship with my father has been like a strange road.
Sachiko: "I think I didn't forgive my father because I felt that my father was unforgivable!" ”
Suzuki: "Sure enough, well, let's get here today." I apologize if you think I didn't help you, or let's do something about it, shall we? ”
Sachiko: "Does the reason for my troubles really have something to do with my father?" ”
Suzuki: "Well, let's try it and you'll understand." ”
Sachiko: "Well, please tell me what to do." ”
Suzuki: "Well, first of all, please do what I tell you." Please write down your feelings about your father's "never forgive" on a piece of paper. It's okay to vent your anger, like "bastard~ !!! "You bastard~", "I hate you~!!! ", this kind of words can be. If you think of something specific, write it out, such as "How uncomfortable my heart was at that time", and write your regrets, your hatred, and your sad feelings on the paper without reservation until you are relieved. After you're relieved, you call me again and I'll tell you my cell phone number. ”
For Sachiko, does this really work to solve her child's problems? She was somewhat skeptical.
But Sachiko thought, instead of being suspicious and doing nothing, as long as there is a little possibility, I will try. As long as I can solve the immediate troubles, I am willing to do anything.
Although she didn't understand the basis of Suzuki's words, she felt an incredible persuasiveness.
Sachiko hung up the phone, pulled out the scratch paper, and began to write about her feelings, thoughts, and thoughts about her father over the years.
When I was young, I always felt that my father would talk about a little thing and teach non-stop, which was very annoying.
At dinner time, I mostly listened to my father's lessons.
Moreover, as long as the children (Sachiko and younger brother) did not do what their father wanted, they were scolded loudly and angrily by their father. Fathers are such people.
When Sachiko was a child, she often thought, "It seems that my father doesn't care about my feelings."
Sachiko also didn't like her father's drunkenness and always complained about things at work.
In addition, his father, who works as a site supervisor at a construction company, often starts eating without changing his gray clothes, which also makes Sachiko dislike his father.
Sachiko wrote down all these dislikes for her father on paper. Unconsciously, she also wrote down rather radical words such as "beastly" and "you are not qualified to be a father".
Sachiko remembered something.
That was when she was in high school, and one Sunday, Sachiko was dating a boy in the same class, and when she was walking the road together, she was accidentally seen by her father, and then she was severely questioned and reprimanded by her father.
Sachiko lied to her father beforehand and went to play with the female classmates in the class, and it seems that her father could not forgive this lie, and Sachiko's words are still fresh in Sachiko's memory.
"You dare to lie to your parents and do such a nasty thing, and when you grow up, you will definitely be a bad woman."
Sachiko thought about these things and couldn't help but shed tears of grievance. She wrote out these grievances as well.
"Dad, you have such a character, how can I not lie, don't you think the reason is on you, and say what grow up I must be a bad woman, too much, you don't know how much this hurts my heart." 」 You're a bad father! I'll never speak to you again since then, you're doing it yourself! ”
As Sachiko wrote, tears kept flowing.
When I finished writing, I realized that it was already past noon. More than 2 hours have passed since I started writing, and more than a dozen pieces of scratch paper have been written, all of which are hateful language.
Maybe it was a relentless vent, maybe it was her own crying, and Sachiko felt much more relaxed.
4
After 1 p.m., Sachiko dialed Suzuki's phone. Suzuki: "Are you ready to forgive your father?" ”
Sachiko: "To be honest, I'm not ready yet, but whenever possible, I'm ready to do anything so that it can be easier." ”
Suzuki: "Okay, let's try it." The purpose of forgiving your father, if nothing else, is to gain liberation and freedom for yourself.
Now please prepare a pen and paper, please write on the title: "Thank you father for things"
Well, what can you thank your father for? ”
Sachiko: "First of all, it should be, his hard work has raised me, because of his hard work, so that our family can live, I also received a good education." 」 ”
Suzuki: "Write these down on paper, is there anything else?" ”
Sachiko: "Well, when I was in elementary school, my father used to take me to play in a nearby park. ”
Suzuki: "Well, write this down too, is there anything else?" ”
Sachiko: "Maybe that's it."
Suzuki: "Well, now prepare another piece of paper with the title: 'Ask your father for forgiveness.'"
So, is there anything you want to ask your father for forgiveness? ”
Sachiko: "I can't think of anything special, but I must say that I have been working against my father in my heart, but I have no intention of apologizing in my heart." ”
Suzuki: "It doesn't matter if you don't have a real feeling, let's start with the form." Please write down what you just said. ”
Sachiko: "Let's start with the form, what should we do?" ”
Suzuki: "Listen, now is the time to show your courage." Perhaps, this is the moment in your life that requires you to show courage the most, and what I am asking you to do now, perhaps, is the most reluctant thing for you, to do or not to do, to decide for yourself.
Now, call your father and tell him the words of thanks and the words of hope he will forgive.
If you don't have a real feeling, just read what you just wrote. Read to him the two pieces of paper you just wrote, "Thank your father for things" and "Ask your father to forgive me," and hang up the phone immediately after reading them. ”
Sachiko: "... This, I live so big, I really never need such courage. However, as long as it helps to solve my troubles, I feel that it is worth it to show courage. But it's too hard..."
Suzuki: "Do it or not, you decide for yourself, I also think that in your life, this time is worth your courage."
Well, I have other arrangements, I hung up first, if you put it into action, call me and I'll tell you the next step. ”
The only hope that made Sachiko feel was to "start with the form" and "apologize" was not her real idea. The real thought in her mind is "it's the wrong father", let yourself apologize, is there a mistake?.
However, if you read what you have written according to the script, you seem to be able to do it. She thinks it's better to do than not to do.
"Call" Sachiko thought well.
Seeing herself who wanted to call, Sachiko was incredible.
If it hadn't been for this incident, Sachiko might never have called her father for the rest of her life.
Shortly after the marriage, when Sachiko first called her mother's house, her father answered, and Sachiko immediately said, "It's me, ask my mother to listen to the phone." After that, whenever Sachiko said "it's me" whenever she called, she would hear her father shouting to her mother, "Hey, old lady, Sachiko is looking for you", and her father knew that Sachiko would have nothing to do with her when she called. But today on the phone, I had to talk to my father.
"If you hesitate to work, this call will become more and more difficult to make", Sachiko turned her heart sideways and immediately dialed the phone. It was the mother who answered the phone.
Sachiko: "It's me"
Mother: "It's Sachiko, is it all right?" ”
Sachiko: "Well, it's ok. ...... Mom, is my dad here? ”
Mother: "What, your father, is there anything wrong with your father?" ”
Sachiko: "Well, yes, it's a little bit of a thing."
Mother: "Really?" This is really rare, Sachiko, what is the matter with your father? ”
Sachiko: "That... That, a little hard to say, it's a hassle to explain, you still ask my dad to listen to the phone."
Mother: "Okay, got it, wait a minute."
In the seconds before her father came to answer the phone, Sachiko's nervousness reached its peak.
She has always hated her father, and in her heart she refuses to talk to her father, but this time she wants to say thank you and apologize to such a father, if it is normal, it is simply a fantasy.
However, for Sachiko now, her son's affairs have made her more and more troublesome, and now she can only take such actions that are usually unimaginable.
If I can get rid of this kind of trouble, even if it is a straw, I will grasp it, I can do anything, which is the original intention of Sachiko to take action.
Father: "What, what's the matter?" Looking for me for something? ”
Sachiko panicked so much that she didn't know what to say, and her brain was in a mess.
Sachiko: "That, that, that I didn't say, I, I thought I should say it, so I called to ,...... That, Dad, I think your work at the construction site was hard, and Dad worked so hard to raise us. And then there's, that..., when I was a kid, didn't you always take me to the park to play? How to say it..., I have never said a word of thanks like "thank you" or something like that, so... I think... I should... Say it once.
Also, I've been working against you in my heart, and I think... Should also... Apologies.
Sachiko couldn't really say "thank you" or "I'm sorry."
But what should be said, it is also said.
She thought that when she heard her father's answer, she would hang up the phone as soon as possible.
However, the father did not answer.
"You're here to say a word", Sachiko thought, "How can I hang up the phone if you don't answer", at this time, the mother's voice came from the microphone: "Sachiko, you... What did you say to your dad? ”
Sachiko: "Huh? ”
Mother: "Your father is crying so much that he is about to break down, what did you say to him excessively?" ”
Father's whimpering could be faintly heard in the microphone.
Sachiko was stunned.
Sachiko grew up so big that she never saw her father cry.
My father had always been an iron man.
But now, Sachiko heard her old father choking.
He only said a few words of thanks in form, but his father could not cry.
Listening to her father's cries, Sachiko couldn't help but have tears in her eyes.
Dad, I wish you more, more love me...
That way, I'm sure I'll have a lot of words to say to you...
But I have always, kept rejecting your love.
You must be lonely, lonely, right?.
The iron-boned father, who endured strongly at work no matter what happened, has now collapsed.
It turned out that it was such a painful thing to not be able to express his love to his daughter.
Sachiko's tears also turned into choking.
After a while, I heard my mother's voice again.
Mother: "Sachiko, are you all right?" Tell me what's going on? ”
Sachiko: "Mom, would you like to ask your father to listen to the phone again?" ”
Father picked up the phone.
Father: "(Tears) Sachiko, Daddy I'm sorry for you, Daddy... Not a... Good Dad. Let you... Suffered... So much bitterness. Uh huh... Uh huh... Uh huh... (Start whimpering again)"
Sachiko: "Daddy, I'm sorry, I'm not a good daughter, and thank you for your nurturing grace, uh... Uh huh... Uh huh... (Sachiko started whimpering again)"
After a while, I heard my mother's voice again.
Mother: "What the hell is going on?" Sachiko, after you calm down later, tell me, I hung up first. ”
After Sachiko hung up the phone, she was there for a long time.
For more than 20 years, Sachiko hated her father, could not forgive him, and felt that she was the only victim.
I only saw the strong side of my father, and I did not notice the other side of my father's weakness.
Father's love, father's vulnerability, father's clumsiness... I didn't notice this.
How painful it is for the father, it is he who makes the father so painful....
She thought a lot, a lot.
"First of all, start with the form, the mood will follow on its own", Sachiko began to understand the meaning of Suzuki's words.
5
There was still an hour left, and Takeshi should have returned, only to think of it, and the phone rang.
Sachiko picked up the phone, and it was Suzuki who called.
Suzuki: "Hello, I'm Suzuki, now I have 40 to 50 minutes to call you, just because there is a next arrangement, I think the words are not finished on the hang, sorry"
Sachiko: "Actually, I..., just called my father, I think I made the right call, thank you, this is all thanks to Mr. Suzuki's blessing"
Sachiko simply repeated the passage.
Suzuki: "Yes, you took the courage to put it into action, which is great"
Sachiko: "For me, at first I thought that my son's bullying was the biggest problem, but now that I think about it, I haven't forgiven my father for many years, but it is a bigger problem, but I didn't expect to reconcile with my father because of my son's affairs. ”
Suzuki: "It's great that you recognize the trouble with children. In fact, people have a subconscious law, if you understand it, you will understand. The problems that occur in people are all because they can solve them. As long as you actively face it with love, you will understand this truth when you benefit a lot afterwards, and you can say this kind of thing calmly: "It is really good that this kind of problem occurred, fortunately, this file can be ..."
Sachiko: "Yeah. But my son's problem is still not solved, and I feel uneasy when I think about it. ”
Suzuki: "Do you still feel that your son's business has not been solved at all?" In fact, it may have taken a big step towards the solution, the world of the mind is connected, the cause is solved, and the result may have changed. ”
Sachiko: "Can my son's problem really be solved?" ”
Suzuki: "It's up to you." Okay, now let's sort it out. For you, the most painful thing for you is that your son does not want to tell you the truth, you have said: as a mother, there is nothing saddest and painful than parents can not do for their children, you do not want to taste such pain, right? ”
Sachiko: "Yes, he was bullied but didn't want to tell me, I wanted to help him, but he said leave me alone, bumped into me, and I felt that I couldn't do anything." Whenever I feel the loneliness and pain of my child, and the powerlessness of being a mother, there is nothing more torturous than this. ”
Suzuki: "It seems that you are really in pain, but think about it, who experiences this pain the most?" You get the idea, right? ”
Sachiko: "What?" who? Sachiko was silent for a long time.
At this time, Sachiko's mind came to mind, and her father's face appeared.
That's right! For so many years, my father had been tasting this unbearable pain.
The daughter did not speak to him about the pain of her heart.
The pain of being looked down upon by a daughter.
As a father nothing can do for the pain of his daughter.
It's the same pain I'm experiencing.
Sachiko: "I see, I'm savoring the same pain as my father." It was so painful, and now I understood why my father was whimpering. ”
Suzuki: "Problems that occur in life are meant to remind us of many important things. ”
Sachiko: "I know my father's pain again, and thanks to my son not speaking to me, I understand some things." ”
Suzuki: "Your son, your father and you are deeply connected. Your attitude toward your father, manifested in your child's attitude toward you, prompts you to wake up through his words and deeds. ”
Sachiko: "I want to thank my son now, I want to say to him, "You have taught me such an important thing, thank you, son." It turned out that I had been blaming my son in my heart, "Why don't you tell your mother about something?" ”
Suzuki: "Now, you understand your son's mood, right?" ”
Sachiko: "That's the way it is!" When I was young, I also hated my father's nagging, and hated that he was rude to blame for anything. Now that I think about it, it was out of my father's love, I just thought it was annoying, and now that I think about it, my son thinks the same way about me, and my strong and unsatisfactory maternal love is indeed a burden for my son. ”
Suzuki: "When you were young, what did you want your father to look like?" ”
Sachiko: "Trust my father and hope he says to me, 'Sachiko, my father believes you can do it'... (Silence for a moment), I think I didn't trust the child, I always thought that without my help, the child could not solve this problem, so I was always asking him, teaching him that this should be the way it should be like that.... I think I should trust my son more. ”
Suzuki: "You understand your father's pain and your son's pain, now let's look at your husband."
When you called me in the morning, I used to say, 'The reason your beloved son is being blamed may be because you are blaming the people around you,' remember? ”
Sachiko: "Remember, I said that I couldn't respect my husband. ”
Suzuki: "So, can you say one more thing about how you feel about your husband?" ”
Sachiko: "I always feel that he is 'unqualified', 'not far-sighted', and he is the same to his son, I am so worried about my son, but he is groundlessly optimistic." Therefore, I complained to him, but I did not seriously discuss the child with her, and I could not accept him to my husband himself. ”
As Sachiko spoke, she noticed that her attitude toward her husband was similar to her attitude toward her father.
Sachiko: "It seems to be similar to my attitude towards my father."
Suzuki: "Yes, a woman's attitude towards her father is mostly reflected in her attitude towards her husband, but I heard that your husband trusts his children very much."
Sachiko: "Ah~ it seems to be, yes, this may be where I want to learn from my husband." It seems that my son does often speak to his husband, and it may be that my son is trusted by him and speaks from the heart to my husband. It seems that I really did not notice this advantage of my husband at all. ”
Suzuki: "It seems that you have realized, well, let's leave your homework for you, and it is up to you to decide whether to do it or not." This afternoon you wrote "Thank your father" and "Ask your father for forgiveness", and on those pages, please write down all the things that you can thank your father and the things you want to apologize to your father. Write a few pieces of paper, and then prepare another piece of paper after writing. The title reads ,"How should I have treated my father at that time?". It's not about regretting how you treated your father in the past, it allows you to find tips on how you treated your husband. Another thing, at night, after the child is asleep, you go to his bedside and say "thank you, child" to your son 100 times in your heart. ”
Sachiko: "Well, I'll do it."
6
Shortly after hanging up the phone, my son returned. The son threw his bag into the hallway and, as usual, went to the park with gloves and balls.
"I was chased away by my classmates yesterday, this child, why did you go to the park today?" Sachiko was worried.
Sachiko began to do her homework to dispel her worries.
There are many things that can be thanked to my father:
· The construction site supervisor has been doing such a hard job for decades and feeding our family.
· When I was young, I had a high fever in the middle of the night several times, and each time my father drove me to the emergency hospital (my father, who did manual labor, must have had a hard time getting up in the middle of the night).
· When I was a child, my father often took me to the beach, in the river, and taught me to swim.
· When I was a child, I liked to eat melons, and every time on my birthday, my father would buy melons and come back.
· When I was a child, I was once bullied by the children of a nearby family, and my father personally went to that house to protest.
· After I was admitted to a private university, my father silently paid me all the tuition fees (at that time, it was a big burden for our family).
· After my job was settled, my father specially ordered sushi takeaway from outside (it was very high-end and expensive, but at that time I deliberately said "I hate sushi" and did not eat it, and my father was suddenly frustrated. ）
· When I was getting married and preparing for the dowry, my father bought me a high-end paulownia wardrobe.
At the same time as "thanking my father for things", "things that ask my father to forgive" also emerged.
As Sachiko wrote "Thank you for my father's affair" and "Ask my father for forgiveness," the tears did not feel like flowing.
"I actually got so much love from my father, even if I was working against my father in everything, he still cared for me all the time, and I was controlled by the idea of 'never forgiving' him, and I didn't notice this love at all." 」 My father loved me like this, but I didn't do anything for my father, and I hardly did any filial piety. ”
Sachiko found herself supervising her father's construction site with no respect at all.
Think that kind of work is "tasteless" and "has no knowledge.".
It was because of my father's hard work that I was able to complete 4 years of college. Sachiko noticed this for the first time. I did not respect or thank my father for his work.
Moreover, I now feel that I have "no knowledge" about my husband's work.
I have a "tasteless" dislike for my husband, just like my feelings for my father. It seems that I should have a lot to thank my husband.
As she thought about these things, she took out her paper and prepared to write, "How should I treat my father?"
In this regard, she immediately had a lot of thoughts in her mind: I should notice that the father's love behind her father's words and deeds is like not a perfect person, and her father is not a perfect person, and I should understand that my father is not a good person. One should be grateful for all that one has done for one's father, and one should not only accept love, but also give love to make one happy father. On this basis, you should say things you don't like directly and establish a relationship where you can speak freely with each other.
She thought that she should also treat her husband in the future.
The husband who works hard for the family is the partner of his own life, and he has forgotten to thank his husband.
To her husband, maybe this is the first time she has such a sincere idea, maybe this is related to the fact that she can sincerely thank her father just now, Sachiko thought, today I want to say thank you to her husband.
7
Thinking about these things, Sachiko realized that it was already dark outside.
When I think about it, I did almost nothing today. Calling Suzuki from 9 a.m., he has been facing his inner world all day.
"What about dinner preparations?" Just thinking about it, my son returned.
Son: "Mom, Mom, I'll tell you something!" ”
Sachiko: "What's wrong, did you run into something good?" ”
Son: "You know Takuya, right?" In fact, he hit me with a ball in the park yesterday. ”
Sachiko: "Ah, huh? Is it? Is it the old bully you that Takuya? ”
Son: "Just now when I wanted to go home from the park, Takuya came and said to me, 'I'm sorry, I always bullied you in the past.'"
Sachiko: "Really?" Sachiko herself said this, and she really felt that this was a miracle, and then the gratitude in her heart came out.
Sachiko thought that instead of preparing to cook, she would talk to her son more, so she ordered takeout.
Before the takeaway came, Sachiko expressed her thoughts to her son.
"In the past, I blamed too much about your own affairs, sorry Wu zhi." In the future, I will take care not to reproach you as much as possible. When you need your mother's help, can you always discuss anything with your mother? Mom believes you can do it yourself."
The son had a sincere smile on his face: "I know, thank you", the son still seems to want his mother to believe in himself.
"Today is really strange, good things continue to happen," the son said incredulously.
Sachiko's heart is also full of happiness.
It wasn't long before the takeaway came.
Sachiko: "Mom waits for Dad to come back and eat together, you eat first."
Son: "Huh? What's wrong? Didn't we always eat first in the past? ”
Sachiko: "Today my mother especially wants to eat with my father, my father works so hard, and when he comes back from a tired day, he can only eat cold food by himself, how lonely."
Son: "That~, I also wait for my father to come back and eat together, how lively it is for 3 people to eat."
Sachiko: "You are such a good boy with a kind heart, just like your father." ”
Son: "Strange today, it turns out that you always say that dad is a 'rough man'"
Sachiko: "Yeah, it's your mother who is wrong, your father is both kind and manly,... It's a man of men. ”
Son: "Didn't you say that if you don't study well, you can only do the same work as your father in the future?" ”
Sachiko: "I'm sorry, but it's also Mom's fault." Your dad's job is a very remarkable job, he's contributing to society. And, thanks to your dad's hard work, we can live, and we should thank your dad for his labor together."
Son: "Mom, do you really think so?" ”
Sachiko: "Well, I think so. ”
When Sachiko said this, the smile on her son's face was the brightest smile of the day.
The growth of children is originally based on the example of their parents and respect their parents. Sachiko's words meant giving his son permission: "You can respect your father in the future", and the son's heart is not to mention how happy he is.
Soon, the husband returned, and the three of them ate a cold meal together.
Seeing that the mother and son actually waited for them to come back to eat together, the husband couldn't help but be overjoyed.
While eating the cold parent-child rice bowl, he said, "Well, delicious, really delicious."
When the husband took a bath, the son was already asleep.
Sachiko looked at her son's sleeping face and began to say to her son, "Thank you, son."
Perhaps influenced by these words, Sachiko felt gratitude welling up from the bottom of her heart.
"I began to think that my troubles were all because of you, but now that I know, thanks to you, I understand the most important thing, and you may have come to give me some guidance." 」
Thinking about it, Sachiko felt her son's face look like an angel.
Unconsciously, tears flowed down again. She thought: I really didn't cry less today.
8
After a while, the phone rang, and Sachiko came over to see that it was a fax from her mother.
The mother's self on the fax reads:
Sachiko:
Your dad told me today. Your dad was talking and shedding tears. Mom cried with joy as she listened. Your dad said, "I've lived for 70 years, and today is my happiest day" At dinner today, your dad, who couldn't drink less, didn't even drink wine today, and he said that when he was drunk, he couldn't feel this happy mood, so it was a pity.
When will you come back next time?
I hope you'll be back soon."
- Mom
Sachiko thought, "My father, who has a drink every night, didn't drink alcohol today, and if he says it, he can really fill his father's heart with happiness," Sachiko's eyes were full of tears.
"What's wrong? Crying? The husband came out of the bathroom and asked.
Sachiko told her husband from beginning to end about what had happened that day.
In the morning, call Suzuki about it.
In the morning, I wrote about my resentment toward my father on paper.
In the afternoon, the matter of reconciliation after calling my father.
"Is it true that Dad is crying too?" The husband listened and listened, and tears appeared in his eyes.
Also, the child who bullied his son apologized to his son.
"Oh, there are incredible things in the world, I don't know much about Suzuki's approach, but you seem to be much better, great."
Next, Sachiko cried and apologized to her husband, who also shed tears.
9
The next day, Sachiko reported to Suzuki and expressed her gratitude from the bottom of her heart.
Suzuki seemed to have received a call from her husband early in the morning.
Suzuki: "I got a call from your husband too." It's great that I was able to help. I am in awe of your courage and actions. Well, what you're going to do is very important: You repeat "Thank You" to your husband and son 100 times a day, in your own heart, and then I have some recommended books.
In the future, I will choose a few copies and fax the title to you, please be sure to buy them and read them
At ten o'clock in the evening of the same day, my son returned.
"I'm coming," my son shouted excitedly.
"Mom, I tell you, today, my friends asked me to play baseball together again, I will go now", my son flew out.
Sachiko's eyes were filled with tears of happiness.
Her voice choked, and the words "go back quickly" finally did not come out.