Some people say: "Write about individuals one by one, and learn to be a person once in a lifetime." ”
In this life, the first half of the fight is the birth, and the second half is the wisdom of getting along with people.
Many people encounter difficulties, all from the inner desire for self-expression, the more you desire to be noticed, often the easier it is to cause controversy.
A person matures in the performance is: do not dismantle the stage, do not argue, do not show off.
1, do not dismantle the stage, is a kind of cultivation
Wang Tao and Wang Jun are colleagues in a unit, and their hometown is from a village.
Near the end of the year, Wang Jun's department laid off employees, he was laid off, there was no income, in order to avoid his family's worries, he went to deliver takeaways, still on time to send living expenses home.
At the New Year's Eve, the village partners got together to inquire about each other's work, and Wang Jun said an ambiguous word: "It's okay, it's almost the same as before." ”
Originally, this matter had passed, and no one would have gone to investigate deeply, but Wang Tao's mouth was indebted, and he said: "Almost what, riding a bicycle to deliver takeaway can be the same as sitting in the office?" ”
When this sentence was spoken, everyone understood what was going on, and the scene was once embarrassing, and Wang Jun turned away angrily.
Wang Tao thought that everyone would praise him for his strong ability and ability to keep his job, but he did not expect that everyone would look at him sideways, and someone said: "Why are you so capable?" My own little friend's desk is dismantled, but it is too capable. ”
Dismantling the stage looks like it shows your own advantages, but it also makes people see your lack of cultivation.
People with high emotional intelligence know how to maintain the face of their friends and will not do things that harm others and harm themselves.
In contrast, the other pair of brothers did a good job, the brother because of the failure of business, owed 20,000 foreign debts, by the end of the couple quarrel, looking at the creditors who came to the door, the in-laws followed the worries.
The younger brother went home to know the original commission, discussed with his wife, took out his 20,000 savings to his brother, helped his brother to spend the sad, and took the initiative to buy New Year goods, so that his parents could have a comfortable year.
His brother and sister-in-law thanked him very much, but he said: "Your difficulties are also temporary, they will all get better, brothers will help each other, if I encounter difficulties, you will not sit idly by, right?" Besides, when the family works together, outsiders can trust us more. ”
Yes, being a person must have depth, withstand twists and turns, bear responsibility, and treat people with an inclusive heart, not only helping each other, but also accumulating blessings for themselves.
2, do not argue, is a pattern
Psychologist Goleman said: "The degree to which you make others comfortable is the height you can reach." ”
In life, some people like to win or lose when they encounter things, and wherever they go, there are contradictions.
Maybe he had the upper hand for a while, but he let himself get into trouble.
After Xiao Liu returned home, his parents were very busy selling New Year goods, and asked him to help guard the stall.
He thought it was a very simple thing, saying that things have electronic scales, collecting money and scanning codes, and not worrying about finding the wrong money, but when he arrived at the scene, he found that he thought too simple.
The first is to bargain, almost everyone who comes to buy New Year goods want to make it cheaper, at the beginning, Xiao Liu still has the patience to explain, saying that a penny is a penny, cheap things are also available, but expensive things can not be cheap.
Later, he was impatient, and whoever wanted to bargain, he directly intimidated: "No, bargaining does not sell." "Gas goes a lot of old patrons.
The second is greedy, some people calculate the account, but also to grab a handful of bags, although there are not many things, but let Xiao Liu is very disgusted, to noon, he is tired and hungry, the mood is even worse, see an old woman to the bag to grab a dry fungus, he directly took the bag over: "Not for sale, you go." ”
The old woman did not forgive, shouted in a loud voice: "You young man bullying people, see I am an old man, do not talk about credit is not, everyone to judge, I gave all the money, he took the bag back." ”
The onlookers accused Xiao Liu, Xiao Liu wanted to refute it, the father rushed over, he slapped his son, smiled and compensated his mother-in-law: "Old man, my son does not understand things, he just came back from the field and will not do business, let you see the smile, you don't get angry, I will give you two more, you will forgive him." ”
A dispute was resolved, Xiao Liu was not convinced, and wanted to argue, and was criticized by his father: "Doing business is precious to peace, you win eloquence, lose money, which is more important." ”
Not arguing is a pattern, but also a vision.
There is a "false empathy bias" in psychology, which means that we tend to overestimate the consistency with others, but in fact, everyone's position is different, and the way of thinking is different.
Smart people know how to distinguish the main points, small things are not calculated, and big things are not ambiguous.
When you know how to value peace, everything can be expected.
3, do not show off, is a kind of wisdom
A philosopher once said, "The more mature a person is, the less he will have control over the world." ”
The more you want to get more people's attention, the easier it is to get yourself into trouble.
Liu Ping was a department head in a company in the provincial city, and when he returned home, he drove a borrowed car to show off in the village: "My annual salary is more than 100,000, the boss treats me as a brother, and is ready to give me a part of the company's shares. ”
Seeing that Liu Ping was so prominent, the young people in the village followed him, he was also generous, one person sent a pack of cigarettes, and invited everyone to go to dinner, and within a few days, he spent a month's salary and lent out more than 8,000 yuan.
In fact, his salary is not high, married for several years, still renting a house, his wife saves money to buy a house, his lavish attitude, so that his wife is very angry, the holiday is not over, the two will make a divorce.
When people reach middle age, you will find that those who love to show off and boast about how good their lives are often not well mixed, because really powerful people know how to hide their wealth, and even deliberately hide their clumsiness to ensure the health of the family.
Zeng Guofan is very good at hiding clumsiness, he is valued by the state, he has an important mission, and in the eyes of others, he has long been a guangzong yaozu, but he wrote a family letter to his brothers, always reminding them to be humble.
Hiding is a kind of wisdom that is as wise as foolishness.
Ability is not said by oneself, but by others.
Wise people will not show off their wealth and reputation, but they will be low-key, know that the tree is big, and showing off in front of others, not only is there no benefit, but it will bring unnecessary trouble to themselves, and when they encounter jealous people, they may also give you a secret trip.
Write at the back:
A person becomes mature and does not care about the process, but will try to pursue the result.
When encountering contradictions, you will jump out of the matter itself to see the problem, and when you encounter someone arguing, you will also take the initiative to take a step back, and your open-mindedness is to accumulate blessings for yourself.
In the adult world, there is no clear black and white, and mature people will understand harmony and difference, and respect each other.
You respect others and treat yourself the best in your life.
Give yourself a thumbs up! May you and I have a normal heart to treat others and things, and live this life calmly.