A few days ago, Prince Harry of the United Kingdom and his wife Meghan together, in an interview, exploded the privacy of the royal family, so that he mercilessly attacked his family, netizens believe that this is related to the psychological trauma of his childhood.
In addition to the painful loss of his mother at the age of 13, Harry's psychological shadow also includes the media speculation that his biological father is Hewitt, a lover of Diana.
Hewitt was Diana's first publicly confessed lover and the one who hurt her the most.
<h1 class="pgc-h-center-line" >01 Meet Hewitt, who Diana "adores."</h1>
As we all know, Charles married Diana not out of love, but because Diana met the royal criteria for concubines: simple, docile, virgin.
After the birth of prince Harry, Charles admitted to having fulfilled his duties as heir to the royal family and returned to Camilla.
For the British princes of the past, there is a wife in the palace to raise offspring, and it is perfectly normal for a few more mistresses outside the palace to love you and me, and the princesses can also see the reality and swallow their anger.
But Diana is different, she attaches great importance to love, asks for 100% loyalty from her husband, and after her hopes are disappointed, she breaks down, gets angry, and then decides to "take revenge".
You are not merciful, Hugh blames me for being unrighteous. Diana's revenge is to follow Charles's mistake - derailment.
There were many rumors of Diana's lovers, but the first one she recognized was James Hewitt, her equestrian coach.
This Hewitt, born in 1958, was a former Royal Horseman. He has red hair, freckles, and a square face, and is rumored to be Harry's biological father, born in 1982, because of his resemblance to Harry's appearance.
It's impossible, because Diana met Hewitt in 1986, at a party with Diana's maid, who was an equestrian coach with great professionalism and reputation.
Horseback riding was a traditional hobby of the British nobility and a favorite of Prince Charles, but Diana was not good at it, and she once fell off her horse, causing a shadow of fear. Naturally, Hewitt began instructing Diana on horseback to help her regain her confidence.
Diana was suffering from depression and overeating, and she needed a shoulder to lean on; Hewitt was handsome, personable, and thoughtful enough to comfort her, and the two soon met and hated each other.
After a woman encounters emotional betrayal, there are generally two ways to heal: one is to divert attention and invest emotions in other things; the other is to betray herself and return her body in the way of others.
Diana chose the latter, and the two often dated in Hewitt's mother's cabin, where Hewitt cooked and Diana washed the dishes, an affair that lasted five years, from 1986 to 1991.
These five years were a rare happy time for Diana as an adult, and she once confessed to reporters: "Yes, I adore him, I am in love with him, I am very happy." ”
Diana didn't know at the time that the man had betrayed her later, leaving her feelings to experience more pain.
< h1 class="pgc-h-center-line" >02 Betrayed, Hewitt betrays Diana's privacy</h1>
In 1991, as an active British Army major, Hewitt was sent to Iraq during the Gulf War.
Immersed in love, Diana did not want to leave her lover, and she did everything in her power to stop him from going, even threatening to talk to his commander on the phone. However, Hewitt was determined that this was an important opportunity in his career and was reluctant to give it up.
Lovers pay more attention to careers, for other women, perhaps you can understand, we even have a bitter lover for 18 years Wang Baojun, which has been rumored to be a beautiful talk.
But the sensitive and fragile Diana could not, she felt betrayed again, and like her marriage, tears and pleading did not help, Diana calmed down and decided to let go.
The following year, Diana and Charles announced their separation, and she began to legitimately search for a new life, no longer responding to calls from Hewitt, who had returned to England.
Whether revenge or greed, Hewitt sold his story with Diana in 1994, and The Princess in Love, written by Anna Pasternak, became a bestseller as soon as it was published, and Hewitt made £300,000, or about 4.5 million at the exchange rate at the time.
The incident hit Diana hard, and she was forced to admit her relationship with Hewitt in a 1995 BBC television interview and said she was "deeply disappointed" with him.
"Betraying" his lover, Hewitt was chased and blocked by Diana's fans, desperate, he planned to commit suicide, he prepared to travel to France, and then broke off on the way, but his mother noticed it and insisted on accompanying him on the road.
"If she hadn't been with me, I'd be gone, so I really owe her a life." Years later, Hewitt recalled.
Hewitt settled down and lived with his old mother. In 1999, he published another book, Love and War, which described more details of his and Diana's love affair, as well as what Diana revealed to him about her affair with Charles.
Hewitt, who had tasted the sweetness, sorted out 64 love letters written by Diana to him in 2003, intending to sell them to the media for 10 million pounds, which were intercepted by the British royal family and handed over to Diana's mother-in-law for safekeeping.
At this point, Hewitt was completely "infamous", and his life never came out of the trough again.
He has since been arrested for drunkenness and drug possession, went bankrupt in an investment bar, ran out of money, and lived single with his old mother. Recently, it was revealed by the British media that he was working as a gardener, with an annual salary of only 4,000 pounds (36,000 Yuan), struggling in poverty.
Hewitt is old, but the British people will not forgive him, it is he who betrayed Diana's love, exchanged her privacy for money, and said that he is a "scumbag".
<h1 class= "pgc-h-center-line" >03 Give yourself space and fall in love with yourself first</h1>
This year's "Strange Story" program has a debate: is it my problem to be frequently slagged in feelings?
Of course not, because the scumbag is the one who does the bad, so the problem is him; and if the girl can find the law in it and avoid the next injury, the pain of the past is valuable.
Diana meets a scumbag again outside of marriage, and in addition to sympathizing with her misfortune, we can also find some meaningful lessons so that we can inspire future generations.
First of all, let's not look for a new relationship for revenge.
Feelings can not take advantage of the void, the needs of fragile times, you yourself can not figure out whether it is the attraction of love, or the pleasure of revenge.
Psychologists believe that if a person has not yet recovered from the previous relationship, it is essentially a lack of self-confidence, do not believe that they deserve better people, so the new lovers they meet are generally inferior to them, that is, "unequal conditions".
This asymmetry may be hardware or software.
At first, stimulated by freshness and a desire for revenge, the impact of "asymmetry" is small, but over time, the friction will grow larger and larger, until it cannot be bridged, and it feels betrayed again.
In her marriage to Charles, Diana was originally a victim, which made public opinion sympathetic, but she cheated on her because of "revenge" and lost the moral high ground.
It would have been unwise to gain everyone's sympathy and favor, but to give up moral superiority, let yourself slide to the same height as the other party, and let dirty water be poured on yourself in the same way.
Second, we must learn to slow down our love for others and accelerate our love for ourselves.
Some netizens said, "dare to love and dare to hate" is always correct, right? Yes, it's right to love bravely, but it's more important to love yourself bravely.
Slowing down the love of others is not to fear love, nor to meet true love but dare not accept it; but to leave yourself a little time and space to restore your mentality, to regroup, to brew a more worthy love.
Only by adjusting yourself can you become better and stronger, and you can meet the person who is equal to your energy, rather than falling down again in the same pit.
Grandma Hengzi, a 92-year-old working psychologist in Japan, said: In this life, a person is born as a person, and death is also a person's experience, and most of the time is lonely.
Therefore, the best way to resist "loneliness" is "self-love", and self-loving people can attract others to love you firmly and sincerely.
Beautiful love begins with falling in love with oneself, and only loving oneself is eternal.