Sponsored by Huashang Newspaper, Ersanli Information, Publicity Department of Shangluo Municipal Party Committee, Shangluo Municipal Education Bureau, and Shangluo Writers Association, the #Shangluo Essay Contest#, since the opening of the topic, the compositions of primary and secondary school students have been continuously released on the Ersanli information platform every day, and these compositions are brilliant and wonderful, fully demonstrating the children's keen observation and strong writing ability.
In order to encourage the children's enthusiasm for writing and continue to improve their writing ability, Huashang Daily- Ersanli Information invited famous teachers to settle in and comment on excellent compositions.
"I Love My Home"
Shangzhou Qinyun Junior High School Grade 7 Class 3 Liu Wudong
Instructor: Feng Zizi
If there is a country, there is a home, there is no country, the family is the basic unit that makes up the society, the family, the family. F, is fantasistic superb, A is amazing, M is moral, I is interesting interesting, L is, Lovely, full of love, Y is young. This forms a family. Housework Cooking Jack-of-all-trades – Mom Mom has worked too much for our home, and every day she bends over. Sweeping, mopping, and cooking are basically all done by my mother. Look, the white hair on her head and the wrinkles on her forehead are the best evidence, and her mother basically has to manage everything, even the most ordinary getting up: the first soft and soothing sound, the second angry shout, the third deafening sound. This time it really cured my bed, it was really a jack-of-all-trades! Gentle and considerate male lion - Dad Dad is the backbone of our family, during the day he is basically busy with his work, it is difficult to find its figure, and at night is when he rests. You don't see that he is so old, he still has a childlike heart, very gentle and considerate, and he will think from my point of view whenever he does. He will go with me to play and watch TV, but after all, he is a male lion, he also has a strong side, when I make any mistakes, he will criticize me severely, but everything he does is for my good! Lively and cute Sun Wukong - I am the youngest member of our family, but also the source of happiness, my imagination, creativity are very good, and I also have many magic weapons. see! The upcoming "Family Talent Contest" was what I proposed, and all three of us were eager to try it, mom showed him the hard work he had practiced for many years - "cleaning skills" for ten minutes to clean the whole house, Dad showed his ninjutsu that he had worked for many years - "speeding hand" typed more than 100 words a minute, and me? I can only show my imagination, using 500 blocks to build a super castle in less than five minutes, it is really eight immortals crossing the sea, each showing its magic! It is such an ordinary family that has brought me endless happiness and endless happiness, and I love my family!
【Comments】 The language of this article is easy to understand, full of childlike fun, the selection of materials is close to the reality of life, and it is very intimate to read. The structure is compact, the level is clear, the content is real and interesting, and the center is clear and prominent. The use of some exquisite words invisibly adds a lot of interest to the article. Emotions are real and natural, and true feelings are presented with a plain heart. The disadvantage is that the emotion lacks depth, lacks scene description, fails to convey affection with scenery, and generates emotions from events. If it can be described from multiple angles, it can show the character characteristics of the characters and highlight the harmony and warmth of the family. (Comment teacher: Yuan Junfeng, Shangluo Junior High School)
I hope that students can enthusiastically submit papers, participate in the "Shangluo Composition Competition", and show more high-quality works to everyone.
The details of the submission process and activities are as follows:
【Submission Guidelines】
Step 1: Mobile app market search 23 Mile information download and install.
Step 2: Register or register as a user (fill in the invitation code for the first time 23340365)
Step 3: Open Positioning as Shangluo and select the Side button in the lower left corner.
Step 4: In the side options, select the topic #Shangluo Essay Contest#.
Step 5: Choose to participate in the topic discussion.
Step 6: Type directly into the page the content of the essay. Please indicate the entry, title, school, class, and author's name in the title of the manuscript, and publish it in a text version with a screenshot of the article. (Can be written on paper by the student, copied by the parents to two or three miles)
Step 7: After the composition is written, click the Send button directly in the upper right corner. (It takes a few minutes to review to publish successfully)
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Huashang Daily reporter Chen Yonghui Editor Liu Peng