1. Today, when it was the turn of the brothers in front of me, the interviewer asked him if he could work the night shift? The brother hesitated and said: "I am afraid of going home at night..." The interviewer: "People are not afraid of female comrades, what are you afraid of as a big man?" "I'm afraid of my daughter-in-law..." said the brother. Then I saw the interviewer take a deep look at the resume of this brother, which impressively wrote the home address: Wangjia Village
2, every insecure woman will ask his husband a question: "I fell into the river at the same time as your mother, who will I save first!" "This kind of problem shows that girls are insecure. Recently, Luo Zhixiang cheated, my daughter-in-law also began to ask me this question, I replied at the time: "I can forgive you when your brother asks such a question, this kind of question, only those stupid women who have no brains may ask such a question, why would a woman like you with a posture and a high IQ ask such a question?" "My wife smiled happily after hearing my answer, and Mei Zizi went to sleep!"
3, my best friend in high school was a local tycoon, the family is rich and generous, he has bad grades, the exams are all brothers to hand over small copies, three years down the good fooled the parents, but the college entrance examination is a mess, the volunteers are all in vain. Ten years later, I went to his house to drink with him, mentioned that he was in tears, he said: I really regret that I did not study well at that time, now my brothers are in Beijing and Shanghai, it is so difficult to meet, London is a broken land, there is not even a person who can drink... After listening, I began to burst into tears...
4, I have a friend whose wife died a long time ago and lives with his son. His son was only ten years old, but he weighed a hundred pounds. Friends told him to lose weight, he also wanted to lose, helpless will is weak, can not be reduced. The friend said bitterly to her son, "Do you know how your mother died??? Son: "I don't know. Friend: "We went to the mountain to pick wild vegetables, your mother was accidentally bitten by a poisonous snake, I want to send her down the mountain to the hospital, but your mother weighed one hundred and sixty pounds, I can't afford to carry it, and I delayed the treatment time." So, you must lose weight!!! ”
5. The spacesuit worn by Armstrong was made by a women's underwear factory. Armstrong was the world's first human to land on the moon, and the spacesuit he was wearing at that time was made by a women's underwear factory, which may not be known to many people, and this manufacturer also became famous because of this perfect production, becoming a well-known large company.
6, since I was a child, I have a problem, I will teleport when I smile, so when I was young, I have already traveled around the world. Later, I discovered the inconvenience of this ability, such as not being able to control the location after I teleported. Just now, when I was taking a bath in the bathhouse, I saw a fat man step on the soap and fall, and I laughed when I didn't hold back. As a result, I will go to your balcony, big brother, please, believe me, I have nothing to do with your daughter-in-law, I am teleported, you don't take a kitchen knife! ”
7, the holiday home was pulled by the mother to go on a blind date, a look, but it was the first love that the mother broke up. Then the mother seemed to see what was going on, and the mother said: After all, you were too young, so I stopped early love, you see I still sent my son to your mouth...
8, remember a few years ago, secretly took dad's mobile phone to open QQ membership, suddenly the phone was taken back by dad. Only to see the message reply to: "You are about to customize QQ members, reply to any content will be customized, do not reply to it is not customized." My dad replied decisively: "Not customized." "I:
9, spent more than 2 million to catch up with the flight attendant girlfriend, actually got along with my best brother. My brother and I had a drink and asked him why he was doing this to me. He told me that feelings were uncontrollable. I would like to ask you now, do you want to inform him about my marriage to his mother?
10, it is said that a buddy girlfriend in our dormitory ran away with Gao Fushuai, looking for a reason to say that he was a boy and a wife. In fact, this buddy is really not a woman, that is, the face looks a bit feminine. He was angry, spent a month to create various encounters, and finally bent the rich and handsome, dumped his ex-girlfriend, and the two handsome men were not ashamed. Sure enough, I can't afford it.
11, took a small project, pulled a cart of bricks, the result is broken when touched. There was an emergency, and a phone call was made to the brick factory. The director of the factory listened to the music and said happily that he could find it, this batch of bricks was customized by the Martial Arts Association, the wrong goods were sent, and there was a claim that several masters and abbots were hospitalized
12, today and play games to meet the girl to eat, she and the photo is really too different. I wanted to leave first and was embarrassed to speak, so the two of them were deadlocked. Finally she broke the embarrassment: "Let's make AA." Me: "How does this work!" I disagree! The girl lowered her head in embarrassment: "Then it depends on you!" I said to the waiter, "She pays for this meal!" ”
13, the old man is an old professor who teaches calculus in the university, recently retired, and is getting fatter and fatter every day. The mother-in-law was afraid that the old man would get fat, so she ordered the old man to tie a belt around his waist to control the waistline. Yesterday, the old man was eating, and the mother-in-law suddenly yelled at me: How do you see how fat you are? I asked you to tie a belt around your waist, and you just wouldn't listen, would you? After the old man listened, he silently opened the flesh on his belly, revealing the belt...
14, it was very dark, the girl was trembling in the corner and was about to cry. The boy grew bold, pretended to be calm, and said, "With me here, what are you afraid of?!" After the girl listened, the tears flowed uncontrollably, and then slowly stood up, wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand, and said to the boy: "If you don't go out of the women's toilet again, I will shout!" ”
15. To deal with the world, we must deal with two basic relationships: one is the relationship with things, and the other is the relationship with people. To deal with the relationship with things well is to be willing to enjoy limited wealth and be good at controlling unlimited greed; to deal with the relationship with people, it is important to do three things: to see people's strengths, help people in difficulty, and remember people's benefits.