Looking at Wu Min's experience in marriage, I know that she is not as simple as "meeting someone who is not ladylike".
She is a rich lady in the eyes of outsiders, a good wife and mother in Lin Qingkun's eyes, but she resolutely chose to divorce and ran in the direction of Sun Lei, and her angry sister angrily rebuked her for "going from one extreme to the other".
In "Perfect Partner", the "division of labor and cooperation" between Wu Min and Lin Qingkun is the consensus reached by the two from the beginning of love. At the beginning, when Wu Min gave up her studies to accompany Lin Qingkun to study abroad, she had already set up the flag of "housewife", and even, under the sharp persuasion of her mother, she still went her own way.
However, her mother's rebuke of being a "parasite" and Lin Qingkun's words "I will not let you regret today's choice" are still in her ears, but she regrets it and is eager to make a division. The end of her marriage is not only Lin Qingkun's fault, these two problems in her body are too fatal.
First, screw
In this relationship, although Wu Min is very wronged, it makes people sympathize, because of her screwing.
At the beginning, she was also immersed in the sweetness of love, even if her husband was not around at the time of childbirth, she could put herself in his shoes to understand his hardships and difficulties, and focus on sharing the joy of new life. But gradually, the loss of gathering less and more, the triviality of housewives, and the wandering of losing herself made her go farther and farther on the road of twisting.
So that later, no matter what Lin Qingkun did, she would be "maliciously interpreted": Lin Qingkun took the initiative to complete all the formalities of the custody class, which in her opinion was a control intention; Lin Qingkun hired a senior nanny, but was found to be "surveillance"; even Lin Qingkun's sincere apology was considered to be "another knife in the wound".
This wave of operations is really too "done". There's nothing wrong with her wanting to be independent, but shouldn't the focus be on running the custody class well, not who will handle the qualifications? She wants to prove her worth, yes, but the focus should not be on something more meaningful, rather than angry nanny "rushing to live", right? It is more true that she wants to respect, but Lin Qingkun's awakening, why should she deny it completely?
Life is as trivial as the four seasons of fireworks, and between husband and wife, what is needed is "to forgive people and forgive people", not to twist and compete. We have long known that there are two sides to everything, such as advantages and disadvantages, gains and losses, but always require the best of both worlds.
Lin Qingkun is undoubtedly a career-oriented man. In his eyes, the family is the harbor, but also the driving force, perhaps, his way of expression and doing things is problematic, but for the family is absolutely not the same, which is why he has been in the business world for many years, but there has never been any messy scandal.
He has always believed: "As long as I try to make money, I can solve everything." As a result, he has been working non-stop in his career, getting the opportunity to realize himself, and creating more superior material conditions for his family, but the result is a busy schedule and a lack of family.
If Wu Min can use her comfortable life to do something she likes, such as fulfilling her wish in a cake shop, such as continuing to learn flower arrangement, such as developing new hobbies, isn't it a very happy day? This kind of carelessness without worries, how many women dream of life, but she lives a lot of resentment.
Second, love brain
At the beginning, she was bent on being Lin Qingkun's full-time wife, that is, the "love brain" was dominant, and later, she felt the warmth of Sun Lei, the "family cooker", and she wanted to divorce without hesitation, and it was also the "love brain" at work.
Marriage is never a fairy tale, it will not be only sweet and happy, there will be no distress or disappointment. Not to mention that Sun Lei still loves Chen Shan, even if Sun Lei is divorced, the two of them may not be able to be together, or even if they are together, under the magnifying glass of marriage, it may not be as she wishes.
Often, people who are "in love with the brain" are too easy to get on the head. For them, marriage is a highly idealized life that shines into reality, and once they find a discrepancy with the imaginary stereotype, they will face the risk of "falling apart".
For Wu Min, marriage should be the fireworks of chai rice oil and salt, the thoughtfulness of booing and asking for warmth, and the romance of being on call, so Lin Qingkun's "straight man" style of nerves has become more and more intolerable "disregard for home". But in fact, love has no amorphous form, and the way of love is naturally very different.
Lin Qingkun was never the only one who questioned her "there is only one standard for your respect", and her sister also told her: "Sun Lei's sense of family responsibility is completely different from Lin Qingkun's." Lin Qingkun will throw you a bag of money and handle these documents, he may be cooking, taking children, and watching the elderly. ”
But the perennial circle around the family has made her world smaller and smaller, and her understanding of love and responsibility has become more and more narrow. Lin Qingkun was tired to the point of "stomach bleeding", and she did not want to worry about her strong support, and when she confessed Sun Lei to her face, Lin Qingkun's sanity of turning away was the love that a very human can do.
However, she did not understand, or rather, did not accept. In the divorce agreement, Lin Qingkunming wanted to leave everything to her and her children, but Wu Min would rather take the child to live in the custody class and "get out of the house". This, in her opinion, is stubborn, but in fact, it is her determination to follow Sun Lei.
It's just that she forgot that once the three-year lease paid by Lin Qingkun expires, Sun Lei is always in the state of "family cook", and those fireworks that once seemed beautiful have become "poor and lowly couples Pepsi Lament", will she miss Lin Qingkun's goodness again?
Write at the end
Once, in order to let Lin Qingkun go home, Wu Min did not hesitate to openly confront the "small sugar pill", just to force her husband to bow his head, but later, Lin Qingkun's sincere apology after waking up was misinterpreted as: "The tears of women in the workplace are indeed worth more than housewives", although this heartfelt sentence is not Lin Qingkun's original intention, but it is also very realistic, and it reminds all women:
First, you must not lose yourself. Wilde said: Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Obviously, the life of a housewife and the marriage concept of "love is greater than heaven" make Wu Min lose herself while losing herself, but also lose the ability to love herself and make herself happy. And a person's happiness, if you can't be self-sufficient, always rely on external forces, and you will only get a steady stream of disappointment.
It is not that you can not be a housewife, but the risk is too high, and people have inertia, if there is no professional pressure, comfortable environment and trivial days, will consume a person's enthusiasm, and this is the most terrible. Many times, career does not only mean salary, but also the freedom not to have to palm up, and the confidence to insist on self.
Second, we must carry it clearly. Perfectly compatible partners rarely exist, and most of our marriages need to be tolerated and constantly run into each other. Wu Min's confusion is vividly evident in the matter of the qualification of the nursery school, in the final analysis, a person who screws up and cannot distinguish between the heavy and the heavy will only suffer losses.
Everyone has longed for their own love fairy tales, but the people on the "love brain" are not only easy to be impulsive, but also difficult to get happiness, and the root cause is that they are not clear. In other words, he is neither self-aware nor too emotional, often moved by trivial behaviors, but always ignoring the good qualities that a partner should have.