1, in the restaurant, eating, girlfriend: you see... Boyfriend: Eat fast, what to see? Girlfriend: You look at people, eat cake, eat a ring... Boyfriend: Oh, is it? He turned his head and looked over, ah, yeah... Bang, a pat on the table, waiter? Girlfriend: Nima, what are you doing? Such a startle, it scared me... The waiter also came quickly: Sir, what's the matter? The boyfriend pointed to the next table: We ate cake too, why didn't we?
2, in fudan university sophomore year, this day has been a crush on the class flower at home bored to tell me to go to his house to play cards. After going there, I saw that there was another male classmate at her house. I didn't know this classmate, we were fighting the landlord, he suddenly said a word of Hasa, and then we both went to the Internet café. That night she sent a message saying: "When you are bored, you can find a boy to accompany you, don't look for two, otherwise it will be you who will be hurt!!! ”
3. When I worked at Foxconn, I smoked with the workshop supervisor every day, and now the relationship is particularly good. Working at Foxconn, I have a good relationship with the workshop supervisor. Last Sunday, the supervisor brought her son to my house to play. Her son and my son were chatting while eating snacks, and her son: This strawberry flavor is delicious, I will hide a little when I get home, so that my mother will not steal it. My son was surprised: Your mother is still stealing your snacks? Her son asked curiously: "Doesn't your mother steal your snacks?" My precious son said: She never steals food, she eats in front of me...
4, on the bus met a friend, the friend joked: Ma Zong, what about your car? I said: Sent to repair, a beautiful woman next to me leaned a little closer to me, and my friend continued: What's the matter? I went on to make up: I rear-ended with Martha. The friend continued to pretend: Oops, how much does that cost! Or I'll find you a friend. I said: No, a bicycle tire can be worth a few dollars! Then the beautiful woman who was drinking milk sprayed her friend.
5, eat takeaway in the company's pantry, and the girlfriend drops the bowl and goes outside! I was stunned for a moment, and immediately asked him: "Where are you going, I haven't finished eating yet, wait for me." As a result, my girlfriend turned back to the stool and stared at me and said, "There is not enough storage space, you need to delete the residual files, are you going?" "After saying that, I ran away without looking back... I thought for ten seconds before I reacted!
6, in the state-owned enterprises to the leader of the old man has been using the pension to help us pay back the mortgage, to Father's Day, I was thinking about buying a pair of shoes for the old man, his shoes are also somewhat broken. Thinking of surpriseing the father-in-law, he called his mother-in-law and asked: Mom, how big shoes does my father wear? The mother-in-law seemed to guess what I meant, and said: Good boy, he does not lack shoes to wear, you don't want to buy! I was touched, and the mother-in-law said: He is very picky in shoes, he has to wear international brands, but my 44 feet, never pick, you can buy me a few pairs on the line!
7. When I was studying at Hengshui Middle School, I had a crush on Ban Hua for 3 years and never had the courage to confess. After the graduation party dinner, we were all a little drunk, after the meal I went for a walk on the moat with Ben Hua, I looked at her and said: Can I wrap you? She looked at me for half a day without speaking, and after a minute like this, my cow temper came up, didn't pull the bag, turned her head and left! Looking back now, it seems like something was missed...
8, on the train next to a girl, her hair is very fragrant, very long. Just enough to cover her face, she pretended to sleep on my shoulder, but I knew she wasn't asleep. Her right pocket was $5,000 with my body temperature, and she didn't know that my pants pocket also contained the iPhone 12 she had just bought
9, in overtime to help the female manager massage, she immediately became my girlfriend. That time she gave me the keys to the house and I went to her house after work. She had just finished her shower, her hair dripping with water, her pajamas, and a plain face standing in front of me. Then she shyly asked me: If you and your ex-girlfriend were standing here now, who do you think would look better? I thought about it for two seconds, but the female manager immediately slapped me twice. She said angrily: Do you dare to think about it? You even gave me back to think? I'm tired of living!
10, play LOL at home, there is a distant relative to visit my home. She asked me, "Xiao Lu, where do you work?" Without looking up, I said, "I'm doing an ADC." The relative then asked me, "Then what is your monthly salary?" Me: "Not much, at least 100,000 a month." The relative continued: "I have a niece who is similar to you, who is very beautiful, and she keeps saying that she can't find a boyfriend who can play games, and I don't know when someone can calm her down!" After hearing this, I immediately became interested, ran over to my relatives and beat his back: "You introduce your niece to me, right?" ”
11, at home is very boring, I heard that the kindergarten recruited teachers I went, arranged a life teacher's work is also good. A week passed and I also adapted to this life. This morning the director said let me try to go to the construction site, they are not afraid to eat a lot, as long as the work is good! I:?? Principal: You alone can top the amount of food for more than a dozen children, if you ask the parents for the second living expenses, I am afraid that the impact will not be good!
12, eat beef powder downstairs, when I call the boss to pay the bill, I burped. It hurt in my chest, and the pain caused my tears to fall on the spot. Then the boss looked at me with a shocked face, holding up ten dollars while covering my chest and shedding tears, and after a few months, I went to the store again, and I said I wanted beef powder with omelette and tofu. The boss looked at me for a moment and said cautiously, "Recently... The price has risen! ”
13, spend the night at my girlfriend's house, my girlfriend's house is a bedroom, between we are not married, I said to her tonight you sleep on the bed I make a bunk. After listening, my girlfriend held my hand tightly and looked at me affectionately and said, As a man, you are already good if you don't smoke or drink, if you are not, then what is the meaning of your life! "I was petrified...