Today, the female colleague wore a very revealing dress, let me give a little evaluation, I looked at it and said: Let me have the urge to commit a crime. She actually said then you act, I don't blame you. Excited, I went up and held her, pulled the gold necklace around her neck and left. I'm so glad that this kind of thing has happened to me.
2. After his grandfather, who was a professor at the University of Chemical Technology, retired, he received a pension of 86,000 yuan per month. He was idle at home and liked to write couplets. That time, when writing the couplet, my sister and I were next to help pull the paper and dry the words. Grandpa suddenly had no words at the end of the writing, so he carefully examined my sister. Grandpa immediately took up a pen and wrote: long hair, long legs, big eyes and small face! Then Grandpa looked at me again and wrote a downlink: short arms, short legs, big washbasins and small eyes!
3. In the morning, the flower shop came and gave the manager a large pot of XIAN human palms. I was curious to ask the manager if it had been sent by his daughter-in-law. He replied with a special hesitation that yes, and explained that they had a big fight, and she probably sent it here to apologize. Then he asked me to read the words on the card to him. It was written in big red letters: Sit on it.
4. It's been many years since I broke up with my first love, and today I met her on the street by chance. She whispered to me, "Have you had a good time all these years?" Is she okay with you? I was also sad and said, "I'm not married yet, I've been waiting for you." Her eyes turned red and she said, "Come to my house at night to find me." "On the night of Tanabata, the moon was like a hook, I held flowers in my hand and came to her house half an hour early. She welcomed me in, beckoned me to sit down, and asked, "Have you heard of Amway?" ”
5. My father-in-law is the chairman of a listed company, and he went to surgery when he heard that ligation could prolong his life. Soon after, he suddenly learned the news of her mother-in-law's pregnancy, and his father-in-law divorced her in a fit of anger. The mother-in-law later remarried to an upstart old man and gave birth to a cute little girl. That day, I went to my mother-in-law's house as a guest and teased my sister-in-law and said, "Did you give birth to your father or your mother?" Sister-in-law: "It must have been born to my mother." Me: "Yo, how do you know?" Sister-in-law: "This is very simple, boys give birth to boys, girls give birth to girls!" ”
6. The little uncle sent two exotic beauties to the chairman, and the next day he was promoted to the regional manager of Ali baba, with a monthly salary of 90,000 yuan. Today's salary was paid, and the little uncle was in a good mood and took me to Quanjude for dinner. The little uncle took the menu and looked at it for a while, and ordered a dish: "Boss, first come a fish-flavored meat shredded!" The hostess came out and said, "Sir, I'm sorry, there are no fish today, I can't do it, let's change it!" ”
7. A foreign trade company of 5,000 people that spent 12 million yuan to open in that year declared bankruptcy today. I said to my wife, "I'm bankrupt, and our Rolls-Royce is going to change bikes." The wife comforted: "It doesn't matter! I continued, "The villa can't live anymore, we can only rent a studio." Wife: "It doesn't matter! When I was touched, my wife said, "Your wife should change one too!" ”
8. Hadron and I show off that my mother bought him a pair of culottes. I was very unconvinced, and when I came home, I rummaged through the boxes and cabinets to find them. Soon after, I finally found a pair of white culottes at the bottom of the box, estimated to be my mother's, with such a big waist that I couldn't wear them at all. When I saw a red belt on the chair, I tied it up and looked in the mirror to see the white culottes with a red belt. After going out to find him to show off, Mei Zizi returned. At this time, Dad stared at my culottes and said in surprise: Girl! Why are you wearing my big pants fork?
#Funny# #搞笑段子 #