1. After Su Mu saw the fireworks blooming in the sky of Helsinki, he went to the midnight show alone to see a movie, which was an old movie called "One Way Ticket to Mombasa".
She always felt that the hilarity was the loneliness of a group of people, and the loneliness was the carnival of one person.
Meeting the same kind of people in a foreign land, talking about everything, sharing old stories, new anxieties, and secret emotions that do not want to be mentioned to others, feeling that each other is a family and friend in distress, a little glimmer of the evening floating in the quiet night sky, and do not want to one day, because some powerless estrangement and difference become a strange road.
Long Yingtai once wrote: Life is like a road from a wide plain into the forest. On the plains companions can walk in groups, pushing forward and backward happily, and frothing with each other; once into the jungle, the grass and thorns stand in the way, and the situation changes. In fact, the road is getting more and more lonely, you will be bound by family, bound by responsibility, trapped by your own ambitions, suppressed by the complexity and contradictions of life, you go deeper and deeper, and there will be no more sunshine-like partners.
"There will be no more sunshine-like partners", that feeling, is frustrating, because you know that you have made all your efforts to get closer to each other, but the original door has become a wall. Frustrated? Yes, there is. However, it can only be accepted.
We are more and more afraid of being separated from familiar people, and we are more and more closed in our hearts, we no longer sincerely smile at everyone, we see more and more elderly people falling down without help, or enthusiastic to save people but are framed. It is not that we are afraid of giving sincerely and not responding, but that we are afraid of getting disappointed after giving.
2, Su Mu is twenty-five years old, studying in Helsinki, usually always alone, the most favorite thing to do is to read and go to midnight movies on weekends.
Su Mu felt that reading was important, and even a person was not so lonely. A classmate joked: "I have read a lot of books, but then most of them were forgotten by me, is it really meaningful to read?" Su mu replied: "When I was a child, I ate a lot of food, and now I can't remember what I ate, but it is certain that some of them have grown into my bones and flesh." ”
Long-term reading makes Su Mu's personality clean and neat: quiet in public, poking at the point when speaking, clear logic, high concentration when doing things, not loud and noisy, strong learning ability, and faster acceptance of new things.
However, some things are not as simple as Su Mu thinks, from childhood to adulthood, Su Mu is the "other people's children" in the mouth of children, with excellent grades and outstanding looks.
In her freshman year of high school, Su Mu even became the first place in the whole grade, and everyone thought she was on top. She won the grade, but was isolated by everyone, and the loneliness that pierced into the bone marrow far exceeded the joy that the first place brought her.
After a period of time, Su Mu tried to be gregarious, and even deliberately lost points in the exam, not to compete for the first place, she felt that after she tried to fit in, her classmates would definitely accept her again, and everyone would be happy and the world would be the same.
However, after she did so, she was more alienated, and they probably drew a line with her from the first exam.
Since then, Su Mu has been alone and alone, without a single friend around.
3. When studying abroad, Su Mu found his first part-time job. Maybe others think that her part-time job is too monotonous, and she has to pass by a small clothing store every morning on time to help the owner deliver clothes. That is to say, Su Mu plays a role that is slightly more idle than the courier. Things were not difficult, the salary was not high, but Su Mu accepted.
In fact, it is not the job itself that changes Sumu, but the owner of this small clothing store.
It was a seventy-something grandmother.
When she went to get her clothes, she could always see her grandmother wearing reading glasses, drawing some patterns on the drawings, and then turning on a pink sewing machine.
Grandma's outfit was always a flowery skirt and jingling earrings, bright as a newly ripe watermelon. Curly hair is pinned with small hairpins, although personality, but not obtrusive, but shows her unique aesthetic.
Su Mu had never seen such an old man who was passionate about life.
She used the fabric of the old curtains and some of the paints that the art students loved to use, cut and spliced, and completed the lampshade of a table lamp. She gave the lampshade to Su Mu and said, "Little girl, have more smiles on your face, go and meet more friends, have someone to accompany you, you can discover how interesting the world is." ”
"It's so hard to meet new people, they always leave, it's better than being alone." Su Mu said with an apostrophe.
"Is it because you leave that you don't know each other?" Does a flower refuse to bloom if it knows it will wither sooner or later? Silly child, you see how good the sun is outside, don't live up to your good times. The old man patted Su Mu's shoulder.
Sumu thought she wouldn't open her heart again, and as a result, she cried.
She felt lonely for too long.
4. After studying abroad for three years, Su Mu returned to China and she found a job as a human resources teacher. She tried to be friends with the people around her and stopped thinking about getting away halfway through. She has more and more friends, she shares her experiences with them, she treats everyone with her heart, and the unforgettable loneliness of her youth seems to gradually withdraw from her heart.
Standing on the most lively street in the middle of winter, Su Mu holds her boyfriend's hand and waits with a group of friends for the countdown to the New Year's Eve. The fireworks are dazzling, the loneliness is far away, Su Mu's mood is really good, she is willing to go on like this forever, not to be destroyed by anything.
These years of loneliness were bitter, but it also taught her how to deal with loneliness again.
Just like the fabric under the grandmother's sewing machine, the pattern depicted on your stitches can be more flat and colorful after being crushed.
We've all walked the lonely road, and we've all been alienated from others. We sometimes prefer to be enemies of the whole world, and we have all experienced disappointment, but we must not let our selfishness become a scar in the hearts of others that cannot be erased.
None of us are independent individuals, no one can live in a vacuum, and we need to fit into this lovely world.
Thank you to the friends who are with you, and please forget about those deliberate alienations.
You will always meet more people, more sincere hearts.
Don't be afraid, please give yourself a little more time.
Loneliness is never terrible, it teaches you how to walk your own path in the dark, not to be swayed by others, not to be bothered by arguments, and then, waiting for you to discover your own kind.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="54" > this article comes from: "Girl, may you have a life of your own decision"</h1>
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="55" >Author: Yi Xiaowan If there is any infringement, please contact to delete. </h1>
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