Are you still a child? Are you still hating the 'your mom thinks you're cold' nagging?
How many people have ever hated it? And how many people are thinking about it right now?
It is said that mother's love is like water, father's love is like a mountain, and gratitude gives us life and raises us to adult parents. For me, that love, as gentle and thick as the sea, is far away in heaven.
01 A phone tremor
I vividly remember that Monday two years ago, a sunny morning. When I first arrived at the office, I received a call from Song, and I was a little surprised in my heart, and this baby rarely took the initiative to contact me. "Old aunt, are you busy?" I consciously walked out of the office, "Okay, is there anything wrong?" ”
The time was blank for a few seconds, "I want to tell you a message, that is..." The child choked up, "The mother brought grandma to the hospital, checked, the result is not good... The doctor said it was advanced lung cancer..."
I didn't hear all the words that followed. In a trance, feel that everything is unreal, unlikely? But there is also a real voice in my heart to tell myself: Mom, I have been coughing for nearly three months, and the last time I came home, I bought the cough medicine she told me to use.
I called my sister, and I was in the car with my mother, and it was obviously inconvenient to talk. I squatted silly in the floor-to-ceiling window on the floor, letting the sun shine all over my body, but it was not warm at all. Anyone passing by casts a strange eye on me, but I don't care.
I want to confirm, but my heart refuses to confirm, the half hour of time solidified in my life is really long! I dialed my sister's phone again, and only said a few words, and my sister couldn't cry. The last line of defense in my heart was gone, and I crouched alone in the window, letting the tears flow... I can't tell what I feel in my heart, like all the internal organs are gushing into the throat.
In the blink of an eye, my mom is nearly 80 years old. From the bottom of my heart, I never really felt that she was old, and really needed to take care of herself, love, accompany her... Because she is so strong, a pair of hands, a pair of thin shoulders, a kind, courageous heart, for us to support a home.
I have always felt that My father has a blood clot and cerebellar atrophy a few days ago, and he needs to take care of it more, and his mother will always be the old child who accompanies us with temperature, wind and fire, and waits for us.
It turns out that the parents are really old... I haven't done anything yet.
02 Tacit silence
The days that follow belong to our common time in this time and space, and the few are so pitiful.
Mom's birthday became the last family reunion. That day, my mother wore a light lotus shirt newly purchased by her sister-in-law, and her face was brilliant, and every photo could see her no teeth, but a warm smile.
In the following days, Mom became more and more emaciated, lying for longer and longer, gradually getting up, needing an extra hand to support, although Mom was not very adaptable. Every time we chatted, we mentioned more and more times when we were children, and mom was radiant, back to our childhood, although it was only a fleeting excitement. Mom took her medication on time every day, and we took turns spending more time with her than before, although she was asleep most of the time.
There is physical pain, the fine beads of sweat in mom's two sideburns are whispering; there is the pain in the heart, the spirit of beating in the clear eyes, it is difficult to hide the helplessness of the heart; there is a lot of reluctance, constantly looking around the eyes, constantly repeating the memories... We silently felt each other and accompanied each other.
Until that cold summer morning, Mom fell asleep quietly and decently... My life has less of this time and space concern, and more of the watchfulness of heaven.
03 In dreams, we are waiting
They all say that the parting is for the next time we see each other. I think my mom and I are the same. A week, a month, maybe Mom is really busy, after all, new time and space, new everything, I am waiting. Finally, goodbye, in a dream. It was not as Ji Xianlin described: I dreamed of my mother at night, and I woke up crying.
Every time my mother walked into my dream, it was so real, she experienced daily life with me, with color, with temperature, and woke up with a strong smell and paste in my heart.
It is said that after people leave, they will turn into stars in the sky, and when I miss it, I will look at the sky, look at the sky, listen to the sound of the wind, and always feel the unchanged love from heaven. Mom waits for love, and I wait for all the memories that belong to us.
You who are in a hurry in life can still hear the nagging of your parents, and listen to and cherish, and you can also see the staggering figure of your parents, and gather and cherish. Parents are here, you can still be a child, life still has a place, parents are not there, you can only be an adult full of armor, life is only the way home.