The picture comes from the network, and the picture and text are irrelevant
The netizen letter said:
My hometown is a county in Sichuan, and my ex-boyfriend's hometown is a county town in Shanxi, and I and my ex-boyfriend's college classmates established a romantic relationship in the second half of my freshman year. After graduating from college, my ex-boyfriend was reluctant to follow me to Chengdu to work and chose to drift north, so our love ended after graduation. The two of us parted peacefully.
The following year, I met my husband on the recommendation of a colleague. Her husband is an indigenous person from Chengdu and is the only one in the family. After more than a year of love, we got married. The year after we got married, our daughter was born. When my husband and I got married, my ex-boyfriend handed me a red envelope of one thousand yuan.
Fast forward to the fact that my husband and I have been married for 4 years, and my ex-boyfriend is still single, probably because I can't afford to buy a house in Beijing.
Some time ago, the unit had an opportunity to go to Beijing for a business trip, so I introduced myself, selfishly wanting to meet my ex-boyfriend, after all, I haven't seen each other for many years.
On the same day, he came to pick me up at the airport, and then we ate together. In the evening, he didn't leave the hotel I had booked in advance, and I didn't pick him up.
After that, we started making frequent contact again.
Just on an emotional level, I still find it more enjoyable to be with my ex-boyfriend. From a realistic point of view, we have no possibility of getting back together, otherwise, we would not have broken up in the first place.
I also know that this is unfair to my husband and daughter, but my boyfriend and I have maintained what we call a "spiritual relationship".
A bit bothered.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
Now, there are a lot of people like you, really "funny", the kind of "funny" who does things but does not do things but is brainy.
Is this really difficult to deal with? Just think differently. If your husband and his ex-girlfriend had a resurgence of an old relationship, and you found out about it, how would you react, at least not by turning a blind eye?
Remember, your current stability in life is not only reflected in the fact that you have a stable job in Chengdu, but also in the fact that your husband has given you a stable home.
So, you need to consider the consequences of greed: once your husband finds out about it, he will inevitably divorce you, and when the time comes, you will be "cool".
I don't think there's any need to talk to me about this kind of thing, but if you have a little brain, you know what to do.
Ask yourself: Live a life with your husband, and then play "Plato" with your ex-boyfriend, do you think it is appropriate, after a long time, you will feel tired.
In fact, you know very well in your heart: you and your ex-boyfriend will never go back to the past, so "Plato" has no meaning.
So, in order not to bother yourself, the most important thing to do is to never contact your ex-boyfriend again.
Perhaps, you will say that at best, you are having a good time after tea, but the point is that your husband does not think so.
I advise you to be a qualified wife and mother, and not to hurt the people in front of you for the sake of feelings that will not have any results.
Muzi Li life insights:
Often hear people complain that it is really difficult to find a satisfactory marriage partner, for this reason, again and again encounters, denials, there are also people who miss after the time, want to eat back grass, or the other party does not give the opportunity, or the other party has another love, and some people even after marriage, still feel that the legal lover is not the best choice, but forced by reality.
Woman, why would you miss a man who truly loves you?
First, infatuation with love that does not belong to you
During the relationship, women are willing to do anything for the man they like, even if they know that the other party is just playing with themselves, they hope that this illusory love can last longer. Women in love are always infatuated with the pain of the slut, and regard the men who like themselves and do not like themselves as a burden, and if the other party hangs in front of her for a long time, she is eager to go forward and strangle the other party. Until one day, when the man you like suddenly disappears in front of his eyes or suddenly announces that he is going to get married, and the bride is not you, the woman begins to cry, begins to struggle, and begins to feel that her world is dark. After a period of self-entanglement, in the face of the cruel reality of breaking up, trying to get yourself out of the unrequited love dilemma quickly, at this moment, especially want to see the man who was begging for his own death, and fight that the other party once loved himself so much, and forcefully wanted the other party to return to you. At this time, he either said sorry to you or didn't bother to respond to you. Women, at this time, realize that what they have done before is just a time to cling to the love that did not belong to them and miss the man who truly loves themselves.
Second, the formed mate selection conditions are trapped
When a woman is burned by an old love, she will choose some extreme ways to vent, and make too many rules and regulations for falling in love again, even if she encounters a man with good conditions, she will first put the other party within the emotional framework she has set for consideration, almost harsh mate selection standards, depriving the other party of the opportunity to approach you. At this time, women do not feel that they are harsh, but think that the other party is too unambitious. It wasn't until he was forced to marry by his parents and his sisters around him were put on wedding dresses that he became anxious. As a result, the hate marriage mentality began to overturn the mate selection standards he had previously formulated, and even humbly warned himself many times in his heart that as long as a man showed love to him, he was willing to put out the fire with moths. And after several blind dates, a man with a similar family background was selected to enter the marriage hall. It is reasonable to say that a married woman should begin to cultivate herself into a virtuous wife and mother, but she is once again burned by the relationship between husband and wife who marry first and then fall in love. Want to divorce, but found that the husband can not pick out the principle of the problem, for this reason, in the marriage to get by, until accidentally gave birth to a child, muddy with the right mentality in the marriage to endure all kinds of dissatisfaction.
Third, think that marriage is predestined
In marriages that are regarded as chicken ribs by women, women usually comfort themselves that marriage may be destiny. It is only accompanied by the quarrel between husband and wife staged because of the trivial matters of life, so that the woman who originally held the mentality of living together did not know which day the emotions broke out, and with the accumulated resentment that had been precipitated for many years, the husband was ridiculed for worthless, and even lived a long-term cold war life with her husband. No matter how the husband apologizes and how he asks for forgiveness, he does not give forgiveness, and always hints to himself, and when the child is older, he will issue divorce instructions to the husband. However, before the children had grown up, before they could issue divorce instructions to their husbands, they found that their husbands had women outside of marriage. Overestimating her own expectations and the primitive instinct to defend the integrity of the family, the woman began a vigorous fight against the little three. In the process of fighting with Xiaosan, women have thought about divorce countless times, but looking at the cute children, the determination to divorce will collapse in an instant. For this reason, with the husband's anger at his betrayal, he constantly blamed his husband, and even when he was angry and corrupt, he looked for the xiao trinity one-on-one theory, and the xiao san knew that he was wrong, and the main room won the final victory.
Fourth, I don't know how marriage should continue
In the post-cheating period, women will not reflect on the coldness and meanness of their marriage in the years before their husbands cheated, but they will be angry about their husbands' cheating behavior, and they are very aggrieved to think that these years of washing and cooking for their husbands, helping children with homework, and suffering all kinds of grievances, in exchange for the husband's betrayal. It's just that after the infidelity period, some women will feel that the family cannot be separated, and the marriage cannot be separated. However, when he thinks of the scene of her husband and Xiao San's intimacy, she will not be angry, and with a full belly of resentment and hatred, she will be even more negative in marriage. The woman is negative at this point or because she doesn't know how the marriage should go ahead. At this moment, the husband with the debt of cheating, with the attachment to the child, and you began to start a new round of death in the marriage. It's just that it's hard for couples to find the happiness they want in marriage anymore. When marriage becomes a state of extinction in name only, the relationship between husband and wife is at best the most familiar stranger under the same roof. Men also seem to gradually realize the sadness of this kind of marriage, and once again lower their posture and soften, but you who have drilled the tip of your husband's cheating horn have not accepted the steps that your husband has given you.
Miss the man who truly loves you
Until one day, the marriage really can't support it, they reached a divorce consensus, and at the moment when they came out of the Civil Affairs Bureau, I believe that there is still a crush between each other, but they are hard not to say, for this reason, one goes to the left, one goes to the right, the husband and wife, and finally only the connection of visiting the children is left. In the dead of night, women begin to reminisce from their first love, and recall the emotional gap after divorcing their husbands. The woman suddenly realized that the man who really loved himself was not the person who had been upside down for him when he was young, nor was he the one who had pursued himself in a dead beggar, nor was he a man who had lost before he was in love when he was in love, and the man who really loved himself turned out to be a husband who had accompanied him for many years. But because he did not know how to cherish, he gave his husband endless torture, in exchange for his husband's betrayal, and continued to torture his husband in the post-cheating period, resulting in the two people ending in divorce. Therefore, the woman asks her husband to reunite, but she does not know that a heartbroken man is already on guard, and does not dare or want to pick up and continue the marriage with you. I think that missing out on the emotional experience of a true love woman is more or less like this.