Previously, the homepage Jun once issued an article about how the whole school was Chinese, so that everyone completely complained about the Chinese density in the school. However, what would it be like if you were the only one Chinese in the whole school, or even just one Asian? Will it be bullied or unable to fit in with a white classmate? Or be asked countless questions about dog meat, cat meat and snake meat? Today, we will take a look at the experience of these study abroad parties.
From Know
<h2>Like to look in the mirror, Beijing girls, the United States undergraduate study</h2>
When I was 16 years old, I went to the United States as an exchange student in a small town in Ohio. I'm the only one in town who speaks Mandarin, and there's only one Chinese family outside of me, but they only speak Cantonese, moved to the United States from Shenzhen, and claim to be Hong Kongers, so I won't spray that.
Naturally, there were no other Chinese in the school, not even a few Asians. My first reception family managed me very strictly, when I first arrived, I didn't speak English well, I couldn't understand anything, I couldn't say anything, and I was disliked by the host family.
In order to make me learn English faster, they "confiscated" my mobile phone, bought a local burner phone, that is, the kind that can only text and call, of course, can only send English, can not call international calls; told me to change the computer, put the original computer Chinese operating system aside, bought a computer with only English operating system.
I can contact my parents once a week, I am not allowed to go to the Chinese website, at that time there was no WeChat, so I usually want to go to Renren network to sneak a look.
It was really really painful at the beginning, I wanted to talk about Chinese every day, and even the first reaction when I heard some English words was to feel as if the word Chinese a word.
But two weeks later, really two weeks later, because no one told me about Chinese, and I didn't have any chance to talk about Chinese, in two weeks I could understand the daily conversation, although it was still stumbling in expression, but at least I could understand it.
I was the only Asian who participated in the school's marching band, and everyone was curious about me, and when I was training, I would ask me all kinds of questions during the football game, such as "Does China have a refrigerator", "I like to eat sushi, do you eat sushi every day for breakfast", or even "Does China have a mobile phone" and other very wordless questions.
Because they have not been exposed to Chinese, they are ignorant, and because of ignorance, they are curious. The advantage is probably that without much effort, many people will come to you and talk to you, of course, I didn't understand it at first, but there are so many people who practice oral listening with me, and slowly and quickly I can answer their questions.
One of the experiences
There is no opportunity to speak Chinese, no opportunity to listen to Chinese, no opportunity to see Chinese, and being forced to live in the English-speaking world 24 hours a day, resulting in a rapid increase in listening and speaking.
If there is Chinese, I should definitely play with them, after all, the things I love to eat are similar, I grew up watching gourd babies, the black cat sheriff grew up, there are many things to talk about, even if they are all English communication, I still prefer to play with Chinese. But at a school where there were almost no Asians, I could only make friends with Americans, push myself out of the comfort zone, and listen silently even if I had nothing to talk to them, trying to find a common language. Is the process painful? suffering.
Because after all, although people are interested in Chinese culture, not all the topics with you have to be related to China, they will talk about bands, talk about what happened at school, complain about teachers, parents, coaches, boyfriends, and so on.
At the beginning, it was difficult to make friends because of the lack of common topics, and then it was slowly discovered that it was actually the same as in China, except that the language was changed to English, and everyone's topic was nothing more than class, boys, gossip, clothes and so on. When I encounter slang and expressions that I don't understand, I ask them directly, and they are very patient to explain to me, and they also want me to teach them Chinese, although it is difficult to learn, but they are still quite interested.
If someone has a birthday, I write Happy Birthday again in Chinese on my card. In the second semester, after the language problem was solved, I wanted to make more friends, so I went to apply for the softball team. I couldn't play at all before, but the girls on the team were very nice, and the coach was very patient to teach me how to play, let me train with them, and go to the game together (I could only watch during the game). At the end of the school year, I made a lot of friends because I forced myself to join various clubs.
Experience two
There is no opportunity to be friends with Chinese, can only be forced to understand the life of Americans, find their life is also quite interesting, at the beginning will experience a lot of culture shock, but slowly adapted, get used to, in a school without Chinese, is a very effective way to understand American culture. (It's not that there's Chinese, it's just that if there's a Chinese, I would never be so pushing myself to socialize with Americans, to learn about topics they're interested in, to learn about sports they're interested in, to go shopping with them, and so on.) ）
Finally, let's talk about hosting families.
I later switched to a second host family and they were very nice to me and I learned a lot from them. If the positive effects of not having Chinese in school are the above two, living in an American home has really affected me too much.
First of all, language. My American mother, sister, brother would correct my pronunciation, teach me how to use prepositions, and so on. For example, the word video, I never knew that the v tone needed to bite the lip with the upper teeth to make it right, until one day my brother heard me say this word and suddenly began to laugh, very seriously apologized to me, and then corrected me. There are many words like this, such as the difference between year and ear, and they will really go out of their way to teach me over and over again until I learn. So at the end of the school year, my American sister said to me one day, you know, your dreams are in English.
The second is culture. Living in an ordinary American home, of course, the most understood is their culture, I will not say that this is the culture of the United States, after all, it is only a family, can not represent all kinds of Americans, so the most understood is the culture of this ordinary American family. Mom will go to church every week, sisters and brothers and father are reluctant to go, so I will accompany my mother every week, go more often, and understand the so-called Christian culture, the people in the church are particularly friendly, my mother will teach at sunday school every month, I also go with her, prepare food with her, and see her story of teaching children the Bible.
Every New Year's Festival, my mother would make a templesgiving/chrismas dinner herself, and I would bake pumpkin pie with them, learn to make various festive snacks, decorate the house, go to the trick or treat with my sister, and so on. I am particularly grateful that they really treated me like their own child, my grandfather and grandmother were very good to me, and my sisters and brothers' cousins were also very good at playing with me. The saddest part of the year was the death of my grandfather, the church people took good care of my mother's family, and my grandfather's funeral was completed with the assistance of pastor, and I really felt sad at the time, like losing my own relatives. At the end of the last school year, when I left this family, I was really reluctant to leave, the five of us cried at the airport, these 10 months had very difficult times, we also had conflicts, but in the end, because I felt that I was a member of the family, I had a sister, a brother and a pair of American parents, when I left home, it was as sad as leaving my own family.
Said a lot, useful no have been written up, in general, this year's experience is really good, although there have been a lot of setbacks, a lot of unpleasant, I also had a whole night because I miss home, want to say Chinese but can not say crying, but the impact on my entire life is positive. In addition to improving my English, learning a lot about American culture, and talking about an American boyfriend by the way, the most important thing is that these experiences really taught me how to take root and survive in a completely unfamiliar environment, from not having a friend to having many friends, from speaking English badly to being mistaken for an ABC. If you're also struggling with a school that doesn't have Chinese, I'd say that this experience is a rare asset in life, and it may be painful at the moment, but trying to embrace these challenges now, and looking back later, it will be a really good memory.
<h2>Xuan Yuxuan, French/Financial Engineering/Board Game</h2>
Due to the school's low profile in China, few exchange programs, and not particularly good for students already in France, last year we had only one Chinese student per year for three years. Then this year, last year's third-year graduation, last year's second-year exchange went to the United Kingdom, and the first-year exchange did not bring new people, so I was honorably the only Chinese among more than 700 people in the whole school for three years. The feeling is that because of this identity, everyone knows me... Will be called le chinois... Then because the name is not easy to pronounce, everyone will try to pronounce my name correctly, which is actually a bit troublesome... Since many people in the school take the Chinese of the second or third foreign language, people often ask me how to enter Chinese characters, and then try to talk to me with the Chinese dialogue I just learned... It's also a bit troubling... As soon as the teacher mentioned China in class, he would come to me to confirm whether what he said was right, and then many teachers thought that Chinese students were more diligent, so no one would answer the question in class. It's extremely troubling... Someone would pull me to play Dota and then I wouldn't play them and they were surprised to say that Chinese Dota is awesome, and everyone will play! How could you not! There are several French classmates who are also chasing One Piece, but because the domestic Sinicization group is extremely powerful, it can be translated a few days earlier than the French and English versions, so it is often very pleasant to give you spoilers. The teacher of the online class is very fan of China, and when talking about the development of large enterprises in the world information age, he put out such a picture: And then I silently took a picture... Classmates have been coaxing when they see me taking pictures... Regarding Chinese food, when doing group work, I will occasionally bring the same group of classmates to the house to cook and eat together and work together, and then now do group work and everyone is scrambling to join me... Another may be a personal reason, think they have a party are drinking, dancing and chatting is boring. So basically never participates in Soirée. So this point may still be very different from other people. In fact, in general, it is not much different from everyone, and the difference in individuals is greater than the difference in nationality. Maybe it's because I've been in France for a long time.
<h2>Marine Lin, studying in the United States</h2>
Now the university is in Los Angeles, which is full of Chinese people (homepage fungus: and I think of a certain school with bad intentions) and I really miss the small town of New Mexico in the past... I am the only one Chinese in the whole school, and there are only 20 Seniors in the whole grade... Elementary school is very loving, such as self-study students going outside on the grass to talk and play...
That period of time is probably the most complete day of my outlook on life! Most of the schools are white, and you know that in the small places of New Mexico, everyone is very nice... But it is precisely because the place is too small, so everyone has been playing together since they were young without wearing pants, and it is naturally very difficult to break into the interior... Thankfully, I lived with a girl because of her proximity to home, so she often gave me rides and became good friends because of it... Then she was very familiar with the people in the school... So she invited her to various house parties... You get the idea... Like what...... Easter hangover party...
Play well, you can also play a game to bully the teacher or something...
In the evening, with the fire clouds every time, the jazz music of the 70s, driving to a movie, couldn't be better...
Snowy April, eating home-made pancake, looking out the window at the snowflakes of branches...
Think about it now that you have to wipe sunscreen every day and go out again, look at the Chinese Los Angeles, and can't help but want to go back to the snowy and quiet town...
<h2>Ariel Tan, 12 to the United States, now 21. Just graduated, stayed in school to work</h2>
I came to the United States at the age of 12 and am now 21. Living in white neighborhoods, junior high schools and high schools are thriving Chinese. The difference I experienced when I came to the United States was enormous. When I was in elementary school in China, everything was smooth sailing, captain, top student, drama star, dance team and so on I have brought labels. And in terms of popularity is also good, the class of friends to go to the outside class. But not after coming to the United States.
The public schools in California are sliced, that is, where your family lives, the school is nearby. (Of course, if you have special requirements to go to other schools within the classification, or other schools within the classification, you can also apply.) When I went to junior high school, the students had already been in the 6th grade, not to mention, many of them were also friends who had gone to elementary school together and grew up together. The kind of friendship that grows up together is enviable, but it can also easily create a sense of distance.
When I first started coming to the U.S., I also experienced a period of low tide, and the gap was very, very large. One of the biggest bragging points I played was extroversion, but when I first came to the U.S., I really couldn't get extroverted, and I couldn't be more confident. Every time I deal with someone, I always worry about whether I said the wrong thing or whether the accent is OK.
Confused is a must, thinking that I gave up such good resources and prospects at home, came to the United States just to enjoy loneliness? And junior high school must have a lot of little boys and girls who weren't very mature -- and would say something that would make you embarrassed, and I remember very clearly that once someone said donut to me, I said I hadn't eaten. The little boy looked at me with a look of discovery ET, and then said hey dude to the people next to him, Ariel never had a donut before can you believe that? And then everybody was around me, not laughing, but I wasn't feeling well.
On the course, in addition to science, others, especially English, all kinds of things make me anxious. I didn't understand the lessons, and I didn't even know what the homework was. I have also had the experience of not being able to read the teacher's ligatures. Obedient to listen and not understand to miss oolong has ever been. How do you always feel a little wronged in life?
Then I was alone and wondered what to do? Because I have been suppressing my language for a long time, I am also uncomfortable! I slowly figured it out, and the reason why I felt that the language barrier was not embarrassed to say it was to take the face problem too seriously. Because I care about face, I am afraid of losing face, I am afraid of making mistakes, I am afraid of rejection, so I am only non-committal, I am trembling at everything, but I have created a feeling that I can't let go, I am silent, I am bored, and even I am very strange. Actually, if you put yourself down, you won't care so much. The United States turned out to be an immigrant country, so the accent, the different customs, people are not surprised. We tend to take ourselves too seriously, and people don't really think anything of it. As for the things I don't understand, there's nothing to be bored about, I don't know, I'm not used to it, and this is also a feature of mine.
After thinking this through, a lot of things are natural. When I talk to my classmates, I want to say, sometimes the words don't meet the meaning, and I am corrected at the end of saying yeah that's what i mean, my bad. I won't ask for something, and I'll look for someone where I don't understand. Over time, you'll find one or two friends in each class who are particularly fond of helping you, leave a phone call or something after class (I was a time when myspace and txting were hotter than fb and twitter), eat between classes and talk about other things other than learning, and over time, they'll introduce you to their friends, invite you to some of their activities, and the relationship will be fine. My spoken language and knowledge of American culture have also slowly improved in various what's ____ and classmates correcting pronunciation.
After mastering the language, my self-confidence slowly returned. If you have self-confidence, you will be more proactive in communicating with each other. A lot of things are going down
Don't take yourself too seriously, respect yourself, but don't feel like people will laugh at you, look down on you, or whatever. Don't reach out to everyone with a "Americans are just fake enthusiasm, just talking" attitude, because this attitude will reveal your usual treatment of people, and it is easy to make yourself think more. I used to take myself a little too seriously, and I wouldn't be embarrassed when I relaxed.
And the language must be practiced, not only for your social learning, but also for your future work! I understand that many international student circles now make it difficult for people to have the opportunity to practice languages, but I think that there are many very good Chinese students, which does not prevent you from having the courage to communicate with other students around you. In school, it's a very good opportunity to find a topic to talk about, so you should take advantage of it, if there is no communication in school, how can you communicate privately outside of class? Later, after going to high school, the storm was a while, and there was no need to say that after the language was mentioned, it was not necessary to say. I only met more Chinese compatriots in college, but what is more interesting is because of the relationship between my social circle, work circle and academic circle, I made very few Chinese friends in college, and a few times I said that Chinese and also shocked others and said that I look at you and them (Americans) so good that I thought you were ABC...
Silently attached some previously written about their own experiences of making friends, look forward to reference.
I am a very fateful and sincere person. Many things, there is fate to achieve, love is so, friendship is the same. And sincerity is more important, because only sincerity can be exchanged for sincerity. Mean girls have seen it, right? I always think that the friendship relationship that comes with pandering is not as good as the friendship relationship that really gets along. I really, really don't recommend that a person change their nature for the sake of making friends, such as hobbies, such as personality. Of course, you can try something new in order to expand your common language, to develop your various "potentials", but not to like to adapt is not to dislike not to adapt, do not need to force yourself to do what you don't like for a group of people. Some people don't like to be ostentatious, so you can restrain yourself a little bit, but if you change your unique sense of humor for this person, you can't do it. And making friends I don't feel like you should look at race and beliefs, but look at character. But when it comes to character, we can't be too arbitrary, aaaaaah, don't move and sentence people to death for one thing. Individuality, that is, personality, is an important part of Western culture and I never thought there was a particular way of socializing, only some cultural differences to be aware of. I feel it's important to preserve your own personality, so this post isn't about giving you some guidelines to make you popular or keep you around, I'm just giving you some encouragement by sharing my own social experiences.
Language is a question I talked about again in the post where I said leadership experience, what is important is not important.
Language is usually a necessity to communicate, and when you and a person are struggling with even ordinary communication, even if you have the patience to share a little bit of happiness and share the pain. When I got along with foreigners, it was also the story after the language got better and better.
What should some students do if they complain that the language is not good? Practice! There is really no other good way to speak this thing, that is, to practice, without practice can not improve. Just like why a person is well-spoken, innate conditions are part of it, but acquired training is also very important. This is even more true in foreign languages.
Okay now let's talk about the circle
When I was in junior high school, I had a few good friends, but my circle was not very wide, I participated in volleyball teams, I won awards in design and learning, but I was fluent in spoken language, and to be honest, it didn't bring me too much communication development. On the contrary, I have a lot of eyes in front of the teachers, probably because I have left the impression of being smart and studious. The students asked me more questions, but usually go to the mall to turn over and over is so few people, and did not say that there is a special expansion.
In high school, I participated in several regular groups: marching band/color guard, JROTC, Olympic Science Team and NHS. In these fixed groups, I developed several different circles of friends, and the people in the circle are better, because they have won awards and so on, so there are more people who know me. The circle I'm referring to is that I have a lot of conversations with these people because of a certain common language, and the relationship has developed particularly well. For example, in the Olympic Science Team, and in various AP courses, I met a lot of top students in the same class of our school, because I usually do project, ap grind, go to a café or whose studio group, you will get better and better with these people, and the topics of discussion have changed from topics to family to fun YT videos to gossip... That is to say, you are very quiet, and you will hear a lot of things, which can be used as a conversation content in the future, and talk to others.
In the marching band, we meet every three to five minutes, because our orchestra is good, so the training is also intense. You imagine, in a group of more than 150 people, 16-20 hours of training per week, and then not a tournament tour, so much time for communication, you will definitely become particularly acquainted with one person, or even a lot of people. Moreover, your growth and experience together are irreplaceable by others, and they are also the big events that make your friendship particularly meaningful
Moreover, after you know a person, that person will more or less mention you to others, and then brush it like this, and your interpersonal face will be broadened. In two days, someone will talk to you, ask you something, take you to play and so on.
Also, these groups, big and small, will give you the opportunity to be a leader, so that you have more opportunities to come to the stage and others will know you. Let's say I'm the captain of color guard, so I'm bound to deal with the leadership of any other dance team, cheerleading team, or even choir team. After the photos are published in the newspaper and on the school website, it is bound to be that someone will know themselves, and then the strangeness will be much less, and the feeling of seeing each other and hating the night will be quite a lot. Cough (there is a good feeling of self-aggrandizement), after going to college, it is a new beginning. The classroom changes in the lobby class much more than the size of the high school, and when I first come to the new environment, I will also have a sense of farewell to the past, a sense of loss to reshuffle the cards, and there is also a gap. After all, I had a very moist life in high school, and when I came to a place where I was nothing, I would naturally flash a little. But there is excitement too!
Why are there so many clubs in universities? It is for the exchange of freshmen! I worked at reslife in our school for a year, saw and participated in various social activities designed by our team for new students, so I don't call on everyone here, there is nothing wrong with actively participating in the activities, and don't feel that no one is going to accompany or feel bored, no one is going to go with you, then go by yourself, it is easier to make new friends; It's not interesting to hear other people say, so how do you know without trying?
Now I basically have four circles, PSI Chi, Psychology Honors, School Lol Guild, and I work in the Restlife Office. On the way, I worked in different places, took classes in different classrooms, and met a lot of people, but because of these big circles, my sense of security and community is still very strong, and I don't feel like I'm lost or afraid in a big school.
There is a theory in psychology that proximity effect is said, that is, people communicate and interact with each other, which produces proximity effects, and it is particularly easy to produce good feelings for people and things that are close and have high exposure. What is called getting along, seeing each other for a long time, dealing with feelings, is getting along. What is a friend, a friend can share happiness. What is a good friend, a good friend can really communicate, solve problems, and grow together.
My advice to everyone is to say a new environment, find a group, so that the probability of generating a common language is relatively high, and then have the courage to introduce yourself to others and actively communicate with others.
Again, making friends can go in the form, making good friends yourself to go to the heart.
Many times you don't have to be afraid to share, because the difficulty of sharing yourself can show trust. Sharing happiness can reflect your positive energy. One of my best friends now, I've been sharing as roommates since I fell out of love.
About the topic
Many international students say that the language barrier has passed, but they don't know what to say when communicating with others, which is actually a good problem.
First of all, when you are in China, do you sometimes not know what to say to others? So don't worry about this, because it's normal, there's nothing to be upset about. You are uneasy and nervous, but it is easy to affect the mood, and then everyone goes out to play how bad you make you tremble and tremble, and maybe it also affects your language play.
When you meet new people, you can generally deepen your understanding of each other from two topics. The first is a preconceived self-introduction, and the second is a common denominator.
The landlord said that making friends is to be heartfelt, and if you want people to treat each other sincerely, then you must also make friends with people sincerely. After meeting new friends, you may wish to be generous about your background and preferences, and then ask and care about them. Sharing your background and interesting experiences has two benefits, the first is to get them to know you, to create a sense of familiarity with you, and to give you a chance to get to know them. Second, sharing interesting experiences will make others interested in you, and give everyone a good opportunity to seek common ground with you.
When college first starts, there are a lot of people coming and going, so you'll hear a lot of opening remarks like where are you from (because no one knows anyone), and every semester for a new class is a good time to meet new people. In junior high school and high school, you may be interested in your Chinese background, you may wish to endorse China for everyone. The more we talk, the more we get to know each other.
Landlords who meet new friends are generally chatted like this. It doesn't have to be very formal to say my last name, well, where I came from, where to go, a few people in the family, a few acres of land per capita, a few cows in the field... You can be a little more spontaneous, think of what to say, you can also take the initiative, how to take the initiative? Just ask your own questions. Do you play ____ ? Do you know ____ ? What did you do in ____? Did you hear _____ ? Landlords do not recommend that you have been passively waiting for others to take you to play, you can completely organize the topic ah ~ find common ground is easy to do, the first topic ideas are more, the second sense of closeness is multiplied, and the third has a small playmate after that. Everyone has a crush on people who have the same experience and the same hobbies, because it's a certain recognition of themselves. Landlords know that it is a little embarrassing to open up to others, and may not be safe. But the landlord always believes that the true heart is still a minority. Many people always feel lonely as if no one can share the loneliness and trouble, but they don't know that they don't give others a chance to care about him. The landlord will complain to the friends according to the severity of the matter, share the little darkness, so as to give himself a little comfort, but also share a trust with others. How many girls have been upgraded to girlfriends because they share love experiences, and how many boys have become buddies by sharing game cheats, not only because of similar interests, but also because they have shared a part of their lives with each other, so they feel closer.
Landlords also know that not everyone talks a lot (such as me...), if you are not used to it, there is no need to ask yourself to be wordy. I just want to say that it's important to be alone, friends are important, and it's even more important to have a group of people who can share it for themselves. When you meet someone who is a good fit, it's good to share a little sincerity. In Western countries and in the West, there are many people who are slow and hot, so don't worry about whether you can't keep up with everyone's fiery dating frequency because you are a chronic child.
<h2>Schrödinger's cat</h2>
A school of 1,000 people is not only the only Chinese in the school, but also the only Asian in the school... Isn't that a bit powerful? The first experience is... Mom Egg herself must be the person with the smallest eyes in the whole school; Mom Egg herself must be the person with the lowest appearance in the whole school. I worry about a lot of things: being bullied by school, not being able to understand in class, being discussed by classmates, not being able to communicate, and most importantly: no friends. But that didn't happen... Because it is seen at a glance that it is a foreigner, the classmates and teachers are very caring, and the respondent is also very good in the domestic high school, and the subjects selected are also good at themselves, so they have completely passed the addiction of a bully. And the teacher gave some special care... Like what...... The first history exam teacher printed a Chinese version of the paper for the respondent (home page fungus: WTF...). Good humanity... ）
Of course, it is inevitable to be discussed by classmates... Most of the students here have only seen Asians on TV... So as the only Asian, it is inevitable to be bombarded with a bunch of strange problems such as whether to eat dog meat, cat meat and snake meat... Then when the history class talked about some Sino-US issues, some students liked to look at me with good intentions and smiled... But the most complained about is still the childish face, and the appearance of a newcomer is actually a senior... Many classmates treated me like a freshman... There are definitely some problems that can't be integrated, but it's not so miserable, there are little girls on the school bus for lunch and changing classrooms, and there are classmates who chat casually in class... But the chat content of the little girl circle is: 50% Boy Friend, 20% makeup, 20% Gossip and other 10% messy little things, you know... Of course, without Boy Friend, without makeup, without gossip, I can only... Listen to the laughter...
In fact, then again, the most serious problem is that I haven't spoken for too long Chinese, and I have some inarticulate Chinese getting more and more inarticulate... Several completely different "there is only one I have a Chinese" experience in the whole school, each of which looks good, although there must be such and such integration problems, psychological problems, but after all, studying abroad of course has to go into the countryside and follow the customs... Seeing this, I can't help but burst into tears, remembering my lonely afternoons in the apple trees on campus, looking at the sunset, silently thinking of a boat sailing alone on the sea, it neither seeks happiness nor escapes happiness, it just sails forward, under the calm blue sea, and overhead is the golden sun...
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