If you only had 6 months left to live, would you tell your child?
Some time ago, I knew that the last netizen live broadcast help:
"Moms with only 6 months left to live ask for help on how to tell their 8-year-old that they're dying."
Cassidy Pearson, who was only 27 years old, was diagnosed with advanced skin cancer in August, with only 6 months left to live. 6 years of anti-cancer process, so that she has not been afraid to leave, but is not willing to leave her 8-year-old son, since then there is one less person in the world to love him!
Indeed, for life and death, what happens to any one of us, I am afraid that we cannot face it calmly, let alone know where to start with our children. It's hard to imagine how an 8-year-old would live without his mother.
The deepest impression is the answer of a netizen:
My father died when I was 11 years old.
The incident happened suddenly, there was no time to say goodbye, and I chose to hate, reject and refuse to admit it. Hating our father who left us and passing away, throwing away something related to our father, trying to push away all the painful feelings.
It took almost fifteen years to recover from this loss. When I can look at all this with a calmer mind, I often think:
What kind of person was my dad when he didn't have me;
What happened to him when he was studying and after work;
He was eighteen, twenty-eight, thirty-eight.... What does it look like?
What were the highlights and lows of his life? Does he have any regrets? What was the most important thing in his life... If it is too late, everything about his life, no matter how big or small, I want to know.
If I'm a little more greedy, I'd also like to know that he'll always love me.
I don't need to be so sensible because I "lost my father at a young age", so early on.
I don't need to be good at everything to feel worthy of love.
I didn't need to feel that "love" was the biggest temptation, the biggest fear in the world for me, so much so that I spent nearly twenty years there devoted my greatest energy to the pursuit of love.
No matter who I am, no matter where he is, he will always love me.
Regarding loss, refusing to talk about it is not a good thing. It seems strong, and not a single tear falls off, which is not a good thing. To talk about it, to acknowledge the pain of your loss, to slowly accept this fact, and to let emotions flow naturally is the attitude to face loss.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="49" >1, how to grasp the education of children's growth stages</h1>
The education of sex, the education of love, and the education of death are the three most obscure, the most lacking, and the most necessary three directions in our cultural habits.
When we were children, when it came to death, parents only prevaricated that "they have gone to a very far place", and children will naively believe: "When people die, they will become stars in the sky." ”
I once read a survey in the Southern Metropolis Daily: of the 300 parents surveyed, only 13.6% would seriously answer questions about death, and more than 60% of parents chose to avoid answering.
Sadly, the "China Child Suicide Report" points out that China's child suicide rate is the highest in the world. About 100,000 children die by suicide each year. Every minute, 2 children die by suicide and 8 attempts. Trying because of curiosity, leaving a psychological shadow due to poor guidance, and hanging on to "suicide" because of contempt are all manifestations of the lack of death education. In the face of death, the attitude of avoidance does not make the child feel relaxed, but may lead to tragic results.
How to carry out death education?
It can make it easy for children to understand without anxiety. Piaget, a well-known children's scientist, believes that children's cognition of death can be divided into four stages. At each stage, the 12-character principle should be adhered to: do not advance, do not avoid, do not deceive, and do not exaggerate.
0-2 years: there is no definite concept of death, but there is separation anxiety
Method: Children at this stage do not need to understand "death", only need to alleviate "anxiety". Parents should help their children separate "separation" from "death".
Playing a game of "hide-and-seek" with your child makes him understand that what he can't find for a while doesn't mean disappearing forever. If asked questions about "death," avoid confusing statements like "he's just asleep," which can lead to your child associating "sleep" with "death" and thus fear sleep.
2-7 years old: Thought that death is real, but the deceased also has physiological functions
Method: Parents can explain "death" by analogy with natural phenomena – autumn is coming, leaves fall, life is over. But it used to decorate spring and summer, and next spring, there will be new leaves growing...
It should be noted that children at this stage have certain social cognitive abilities, but more are perceived through the language and actions of their parents. In the face of death, parents should remember not to show excessive sadness or even stagnation, which may lead to fear in children.
7-11 years old: Thought that death is irreversible and happens to everyone, but only in old age
Method: Children at this age are full of curiosity and imagination about the world, and they will also have their own magical understanding of "death", such as "being captured by demons". At this time, we should guide children to correctly view "death" and eliminate fear; at the same time, we should emphasize safety awareness and cherish life.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="164" > 2 and 4 movie recommendations</h1>
Death is part of life, and pain is part of love.
Loved ones will always leave.
I hope that death will bring you not only sorrow, fear, and pain, but also a deeper understanding and desire for life. What do our children think when confronted with this topic? Maybe some children still don't understand the meaning of death, maybe some children have begun to think about the meaning of life and death.
But in any case, children cannot miss life education. Today I have compiled 4 movies related to the philosophy of life for you, and I will discuss them with my children on the weekend, maybe you will all have gains.
"Our Day"
Grandpa William is terminally ill with cancer, and Beth is wondering how to make children better accept this fact and not suffer too much emotional trauma. She asked the child to make a memory box for grandpa and put all the memories related to grandpa into that box.
When you miss your grandfather, you can take out the memory box, see the contents, and recall the time when you were with your grandfather. We need a container for our memories and thoughts.
Before William's death, he arranged for his son to travel back to his hometown with him, and arranged for his two granddaughters to hold a memorial service for him to celebrate this life. Doing something for him and completing a ritual helps to accept the truth in your heart and really say goodbye to him, which is also the importance of the sense of ceremony!
The Tree of Life won the Palme d'Or at the 64th Cannes Film Festival
The protagonist of this film is an 11-year-old boy named Jack, who is amazed by everything in the world, and he does things according to his own thoughts and the instructions of his heart. His mother taught him to face the world with love and kindness; But dad told him that if he wanted to hang out in this world, he had to put himself first. His brother's death changed his family. As an adult, Jack's life did not go well, and when he thought about his life trajectory, he re-faced his memories, began to look at his parents, family, childhood from a different perspective, and finally forgave his father, and had a deeper understanding of life and life and faith.
Film review: The picture and soundtrack are the two magic weapons of this film's success, which vividly and artistically expresses the film's profound, broad and rich ideological connotations, the beautiful and picturesque picture sense is dazzling, and the elegant and moving soundtrack makes people linger. ------------------
Helen the Fox
Genre: Drama / Family
Koji Yajima, the veterinary director who runs the Forest Animal Clinic, is an introverted and somewhat wooden man who lost his wife at an early age and has been dependent on his daughter Misuzu for many years. Yukiji's girlfriend in college, Ryuko, is an avid photographer and a single mom. One day, Ryoko is about to go abroad to work, and before leaving, she fosters her only son, Taiyi, in The Yukiji's house.
Koji was originally troubled by his relationship with Noriko, and Taiichi's arrival made him even more confused. Soon, Taiyi retrieved a small fox from the wild. Again, it was discovered that this little guy had a severe disability. He had hoped that Taiyi would throw away the fox, which had no hope of survival, but the stubborn boy tried his best to cure the little fox and return it to nature and its mother.
Film Review: The Bible Has Clouds: There is faith, hope, and love that exist today. The greatest of these is love, and I have always believed in the power of this love, and this belief depends entirely on the will. As long as you believe, it will always exist, drawing infinite power from it. Because love is happy because of you. - Douban
Dream Quest
Won best animated feature at the 90th Academy Awards.
— Mig, a 12-year-old Mexican boy from a family of shoemakers, has had a musical dream since childhood, but music is forbidden by the family, and they think they are cursed by music. While Mig secretly pursues his musical dreams, he steps onto the land of the dead by touching a guitar. Every year on the Festival of the Dead, the deceased family members return to the human world to reunite with their loved ones, but no one has ever been to the world of the dead. MiG is shocked by the colorful world of the undead, and to his surprise, he reunites with his lost mother and grandparents, and the family wants to find a way to send MiG back to the world...
Film review: For the first time, I feel that the marigold bridge to the human world after death and the Tanabata Queqiao Bridge are the same principle, love is common regardless of species, meeting is because of missing, and existence is because of the power of memory. And only Mexicans have the joyful ability to make the celebration of their ancestors so colorful. Fathers with daughters are welcome to come to the theater and cry. The Day of the Dead Customs Hall is well organized and efficient! Reject the silent afterlife, we want to hustle!
Bucket List
The rich man Edward Cole has made a lot of profits in the privatization of public hospitals in recent years, and his practice of stipulating "one room and two beds" in the ward to save costs is quite controversial, but the strong Cole does not think so, and he was soon diagnosed with cancer, and Cole, who wanted to be admitted to the single ward, had to be in the same room with another patient, Carter Sr. under the pressure of public opinion.
Carter Sr., a car repair technician, was knowledgeable and trained his three children to be talented, but at the expense of his youthful dream of becoming a history professor. Cole, who had been married many times but was now alone, gradually became interested in Carter, and the two old men formed a friendship in the ward. Cole stumbles upon Carter's "bucket list", and he decides to use his power to make those crazy ideas on paper come true, to discover the true meaning of life...
Film Review: What is the meaning of life? No one can draw conclusions, so life is rich and interesting and worth looking forward to. What is death? We have no way of knowing. One day, the mystery will be solved. Then, don't delay to the end, just on the road of life and death, open your heart as soon as possible. Perhaps, that's the only thing we can do. ——Douban Yimei
I have seen such a sentence in the movie: Death is the best invention of mankind.
Death is sad, but it is precisely because everything will end, prompting us to cherish life even more, to cherish every moment of the moment.
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