1. I was in the same class with my daughter-in-law and her girlfriend, they both chased me that year, but I chose my daughter-in-law, today she came to my house to play, and in the evening the three of us ordered a barbecue and ice beer to eat. At this time, the wine came up, and she proposed: Let's play Truth or Dare together. Three hit it off. She asked my daughter-in-law: If I give you two hundred thousand yuan, will you let your husband take me? After I listened to it, my heart was happy, and I really didn't see that she still had a bad idea about me now. My daughter-in-law glanced at me and said, "You don't need two hundred thousand, you can do it." At this time, she took the mobile phone and after a bit of operation: she said to her daughter-in-law, OK, one hundred thousand for you to turn over. Then he said to me: Your daughter-in-law sold you to me, come back with me. After saying that, he was ready to take me away with him, when the murderous eyes of his daughter-in-law came. Oops, do I want to go with her girlfriend?
2. The girlfriend found a rich second generation on the Internet, and the two got married not long after they met. After the marriage, the girlfriend drove a Porsche to wait for the rich second generation to go out for a ride, and there was a car accident on the road. Fortunately, the girlfriend was not in any serious trouble, but the rich second generation was seriously injured and faced death. The girlfriend held the hand of the rich second generation and could not speak for half a day, and the second generation of the rich said intermittently: Honey, can you promise me one thing? Girlfriend: You say, no matter what it is, I will unconditionally agree with you. The rich second generation said with difficulty: You... Can...... No...... Laugh so much... so...... Happy?
3. On this day, my wife was sent abroad by the boss to study for two days, and I suddenly felt that the whole person became brisk. I was looking for my brothers to touch two mahjong, but my father-in-law came and said he would invite me to drink. There was no way, I could only greet him first, I couldn't drink his old wine worm at all, and after a while I was on my head and lying on the table in a bad way. In the confusion, I suddenly heard the voice of his phone call: "Daughter, the task is complete!" ”
4. Yesterday I went to the mall without any trouble, and saw a hook sports brand doing activities, and I also went to join in the fun. As a result, looking at the crowd of people rushing to buy, I could only look away. I suddenly noticed that there was an uncle next to me staring at me, and I glanced at him with my eyes. He felt embarrassed to explain to me, "Boy, don't misunderstand me! I'm not malicious! I look at your shoe size is similar to mine, and I'm waiting for your shoes to be squeezed out! I almost made a pair of left shoes! "After saying that he took out a right shoe from behind...
5. My cousin is a college student who goes to hire programmers after graduation. At the end of the interview, the boss asked: "What are the requirements for treatment?" The cousin said: "There is no requirement, commute to work and assign me a 200,000 car." Accommodation should be a single room, with a monthly salary of 8,000 on the line! The boss said, "Boy, I'll give you a BMW." Accommodation for you to get a villa, monthly salary to open you ten thousand, how? The cousin was stunned and said, "Boss, aren't you kidding?" The boss said coldly, "You joked on me first!" ”
6. On the street, I met Fa Xiao, and we haven't seen each other for more than 20 years! I asked Fa Xiao: Gangzi, remember me? Fa Xiao shook his head and said: "I don't have an impression!" I said: I am your elementary school classmate, and I fought with you in the third grade! Send a novel: still not impressed. I said: When I was in the fifth grade, I won the first prize in the city's Olympiad competition. Send a novel: Really not impressed. I said: Sixth grade class pee pants, got slapped twice by the teacher that! Tweet: Oh! I remembered, it's you!
7. When I was just in class, the teacher told us a big truth. The teacher said: The ancients were right, "great wisdom is foolish", from my experience, especially intelligent people usually look stupid. But this sentence, on the other hand, "great foolishness is wise", is not necessarily correct. I said: Teacher, how is it not correct, "big stupid and weak knowledge", especially stupid people are not all "weak knowledge"? The teacher said: ...
8. Yesterday I broke up with my girlfriend who had been talking for four years, and when I was in a bad mood, I went to Phoebe's bar to get drunk, but I didn't expect to run into my brother-in-law. At the door, I saw my brother-in-law driving a valuable Maserati. I was very surprised and asked: Brother, how did you get this car? The brother-in-law said quietly: I met a beautiful woman at a bar that day, and at night she drove her Maserati to the top of the mountain, and then she told me that I could do whatever I wanted, so I drove her Maserati. I pondered for half a day and silently gave a thumbs up: Brother, you are doing the right thing, you can't wear her clothes!
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