1. Last night I finally lived with my girlfriend and woke up the next day, I hugged her and looked at her carefully for half a day, asking her how she removed her makeup and how it was different from usual? My girlfriend shyly threw herself into my arms and told me, you

1. I finally lived with my girlfriend last night and woke up the next day, I held her and looked at her carefully for half a day, asking her how she removed her makeup and how it was different from usual. My girlfriend shyly threw herself into my arms and told me that you have eaten instant noodles for so many years, don't you know that the packaging pattern is for reference only?

2. A man and a woman are on a blind date... F: Do you have a room? M: I don't, but my son has a dozen villa women: Do you have a car? M: I don't, but my son's car can be half a parking lot woman: so what do you do all day, how much do you earn a month! M: Hey, there's no job, it's just getting up early and counting the pocket money women my son gave me: Then you see, what do you want from me? M: I'm a relatively simple person, that is, you can give me such a son. F: Roll!!

3. The sister-in-law's husband has mild mania and beats the sister-in-law. After I learned about this matter, I immediately went to teach my brother-in-law a lesson. At that time, I drank some wine, and with the strength of the wine, I beat my brother-in-law twice, and my brother-in-law never fought back. When the sister-in-law's anger was almost gone, she took me out to eat. When she came home from eating, she said: "Brother, you said that the men under this day are stupid to you, don't you know that you save some private money, eat with me, and actually let me pay for it myself. I glared at her and said, "What kind of person is your sister, don't you know?" ”

4. As the only single woman in the office, there are things that the leader always likes to make me do. Today, the leader came to me and said, "I'll give you half a day off, and you'll go to a parent-teacher conference for my kindergarten son." I hesitated for a moment and said, "Your son's parent-teacher meeting, isn't it appropriate for me to go?" The leader smiled and said: "I am giving you a chance, if you go to meet a single handsome guy, is it not just to solve your single problem?" "As soon as I heard that there was a handsome guy, I gladly agreed, but I always feel that something is wrong now.

5. Today I met a sister I have a crush on for a long time at a coffee shop. She blinked her big watery eyes and asked me: "So, do you have a girlfriend?" I thought quickly in my mind. Secretly wondering, if I said no, she might think back that I was the man no one wanted. I felt sorry not to let her look down on me. So I told her very firmly: Yes, how can I not have a girlfriend?

6. After graduating from the Transportation University, I went to drive a bus, worked 4 hours a day, and paid 8,000 yuan a month. In the car today, a girl and a foreigner talked in English. They talked loudly, and the girl's expression was exaggerated, and she laughed from time to time, and it lasted for a long time. The sister suddenly asked me with Chinese: Master, has Wan reached it? Me: Girl, that stop is long past. The girl was angry: Why don't you report to the station? I said calmly: I'm sorry, I'm afraid you can't understand Chinese.

7. I bought a few apples a few days ago to go to my sister's house, and after washing them, I called my little nephew and said to him: Let's divide the apples. Which one are you going to take? Little Nephew: I want the biggest apple. I said in a serious tone: You should be polite, you should be small, and give the big one to others to eat. The little nephew said with a naïve face: Isn't this asking me to lie? "

8. Xiao Li is a rare single man with good taste and wealth in the company, one day the female director of the department took the initiative to ask Xiao Li to go to the beach couple restaurant to eat at night, although Xiao Li was unwilling in his heart, but it was not easy to refuse, in order to avoid embarrassment, Xiao Li had to let two friends also go to the couple restaurant and pretend to meet by chance. Seeing that the two friends sat down together, the female supervisor was immediately embarrassed and had to pull Xiao Li alone to say a few words. The female supervisor said shyly: "I really didn't expect that once our brother had dinner, you wanted to introduce me to your good friend, so it was too fast, there was no psychological preparation at all!" ”

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