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Today's salary, the female colleague threw me a lump of money and said: "Is it enough to accompany me for an hour?" I roughly estimated that there must be a thousand, and I groaned and said, "It's okay to have coffee and eat."

author:Humorous funny paragraphs are much happier

Today's salary, the female colleague threw me a lump of money and said: "Is it enough to accompany me for an hour?" I roughly estimated that there must be a thousand, and I groaned and said, "It's okay to drink coffee and eat, but the rest is free!" She threw another pile of money and said, "What about these?" I saw that I had already given three thousand, and I was a little moved, but I was the one who had seen the big scene, and continued: "I am not a casual person!" The landlady suddenly appeared and threw me a cowhide bag, I looked at at least fifty thousand, and she said, "If you can guarantee not to talk to other women, these are all yours!" The female colleague sighed and left. I was immediately anxious: "Money." The money is left..." A few thousand yuan, but also money, I quickly chased it, and when I came back, the tens of thousands of the female boss were gone. Life is like this, don't pay too much for your spoon, cherish the present...

2 I accidentally threw away my daughter's certificate at school, and she immediately cried to death. All kinds of apologies were to no avail, so I took out 100 yuan and dangled it in front of my daughter's eyes. She looked contemptuous: I am not your wife, don't think that women are the kind of people who see money and open their eyes! Suddenly, I was shocked by the child's righteousness, and finally used two 100 sheets to calm the storm.

3 The president is 45 years old and not married, and is a standard diamond king. I found the opportunity to introduce my cousin who had just graduated from college to him, and the two fell in love at first sight. The president was very happy, promoted me to the department manager, sent me out on a business trip a few days ago, and my wife was at home alone in an empty house. At 10 o'clock in the evening, I suddenly received a text message from my wife: "I miss you, honey." Two minutes later, I got another text: "I'm smelling you." "I was very happy, thinking that although my wife looked tough, she also had gentle times! I replied with a message: "Where did you smell it?" Five minutes later, the wife sent again: "Our towel, that is, the towel that is not washed often, tastes exactly the same as your body, it is too disgusting, thrown on the ground, you come back and don't forget to wash it!" ”

4 When I was still in school, my father had no money to smoke, so he asked me to borrow living expenses, so the relationship was very good like brothers. One day after school, I went to the Internet café to play League of Legends on the Internet, as long as I played it, there was no concept of time, my parents told me that I would call for dinner, and I said I would go back immediately. My parents waited at home, waited, waited, and finally waited for me to come back. Before they could eat, my dad slapped the table and shouted, "Stinky boy, come back so late and punish yourself with three cups!" ”

5 The new manager of the company is so handsome, I pursued him so hard that I finally got married. To save him money, I still ride an electric car in the winter. On this day, I sat on the tram and waited behind the kindergarten door to pick up my son from school. When my son walked out, I was freezing. The son saw this and asked, "Mom, why are you shaking all over your body?" I said, "Because it's too cold today." The son continued: "Mother is really timid, and the cold weather is frightening." ”

6 Today I want to plant bud rice, and early in the morning I am working in the field, and the newly married daughter-in-law next door is also there. Chatting and talking about watching the little daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law not go home at noon, the heart is secretly fighting, she does not return to me and do not return, can she still do her? Finally it was twelve o'clock, and I couldn't help asking: It's noon, don't you go home and cook? The little daughter-in-law smiled and said: I don't need it, the mother-in-law at home is ready, I will go back to eat immediately! Walt..... I'm going to cook.

7 My cousin had previously had a ligature. I remember that my cousin and my cousin were just a month old, and my cousin was pregnant. The cousin not only did not get angry, but also took good care of the cousin. This surprised me that the man in love was so humble. When I was drinking last night, I asked a brother, "Dude, how humble can you be in the face of love?" The brother took a deep breath of his cigarette and said slowly, "She gave me a slap and I asked why her hands were so cold!" ”

8 Last time, I took advantage of the rest to go to Tai'an to play, and after going to Fangte, I went to climb Mount Tai, and I met my former classmates at the top of the mountain. He said let me shout a few times at the mountain, sure to be happy and unexpected... I shouted three times in faith, and my classmates laughed and clapped their hands at me and said: You are still the same mountain cannon as you were then, how do you feel now? Crack your throat, right? I have a golden throat and mineral water, 50 bucks to sell you!

9 College classmates who have graduated for four years actually asked me to borrow money today. I asked: Is two hundred thousand enough... Not enough to say. Classmate Le blossomed and immediately replied: Enough, or brother you have a way, you rest assured, I will definitely return it to you in the future, more than four years have not seen what are you doing now, so rich? I smiled: It's okay, not enough for you to talk, I'm borrowing online loans now! 

 #年度搞笑名场面 #

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