1． At night, I took a bath with my wife and prepared to go to bed together, and it was already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, and my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a wonderful night, we should do it

1． At night, I took a bath with my wife and prepared to go to bed together, and it was already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, and my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a beautiful night, we should do something! So I asked her, what should we do? The wife touched her stomach, smiled and said, I think we should go to a barbecue. My eyes lit up and I said in approval, OK, I want to eat a roast pig intestine, my wife angrily patted my head and said, the pig intestine stinks to death, it is not delicious at all, I want to eat pig brain.

2． Walk the dog in the park at night, today it is a little too noisy to stop. It made my mouth dry, hurried home, entered the door and shouted: Thirsty death, is there still herbal tea? The old mother listened and hurried into the house to get it: yes, yes. Mom took herbal tea from the refrigerator and opened it, I was just about to reach out to pick it up, mom poured herbal tea into the dog basin. The dog's thirsty bar sniffed and drank quickly. When the mother saw it, she was very happy, and while gently stroking the dog's head, she said: Seeing that you are in a hurry, you can't drink slowly?

3.?Fell in love with the newly moved female neighbor, but unfortunately she is now married, and her husband is a well-paid surgeon. But no matter the rain or snow, every morning I remembered to leave a fresh and ruddy apple silently on the blue mailbox at her door, until one day I finally bumped into her. Looking at my embarrassment, she smiled: "This is the most special confession I have ever encountered." I bowed my head: "One apple a day, the doctor is away from me!" ”

4． My son went on a business trip, and I planned to take my daughter-in-law to go shopping. When I got to my daughter-in-law's house, I found that her face was swollen like a bun. I looked surprised: "Daughter-in-law, why is your face so swollen?" Daughter-in-law: "Alas, yesterday your son did not leave, took me to row a boat, and was bitten by a mosquito." Me: "It's so swollen, you must have been stung by it for a long time, right?" Daughter-in-law: "It's not very long, it just stopped in my face, and you were killed by your son with a paddle." "Me:"

5． Today is my thirty-year-old birthday, and I have spent it with my wife and me. Then, I saw that my wife was not happy at all and felt guilty. She said: "Husband today is your birthday, I wish you a happy birthday, this is your birthday gift, this bag I especially like, is the price is too expensive, is your month's salary, I bought it too much." I patted my wife and said, "You have a heart, I don't blame you, but what is a women's model?" ”

6． After graduating from college, I did an internship in a large company for half a year. We had three interns, and the other two had left. Recently, when there was nothing to do, I joked with the department manager: "I see that there is no task here, why don't you dismiss me?" The manager said, "That's not okay, there's no temporary worker, what if something happens!" ”

7． On the weekend break, I went to the park after lunch to walk around, when I saw two people with dogs in their arms walking toward each other. As soon as they approached, the two dogs suddenly stretched out their heads and roared at each other, looking at the posture as if they were eager to go up and bite each other. The two owners were so frightened that they quickly put the dog on the ground....... As a result, as soon as the two dogs reached the ground, they silently looked at each other and turned their heads. This reminds me of the scene when two netizens greeting each other online met offline.

8． Working in a shipyard, I work every day with a safety shield. This afternoon I did not set the fire well, and my eyes flashed and I cried all the time. Our factory director came to inspect me and asked: What's going on? I was blinded by the sun and kept crying. The factory director looked at it and said: Don't say it, I understand! Then very quickly I received a pay slip, dismissed for the reason: crying!

 #Funny##Funny Moment##搞笑段子 #