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Mao Jian | you can always believe in bad movies

author:The Paper

Hairy tip

Cinematically, 2021 is a strange year. The hottest Spring Festival file in history, the most crowded May 1st file in history, the strongest National Day file in history, anyway, are epic. At the same time, it was another year of bad movies and rotten new bottom lines. However, in the era when everything is fluttering, life and love are like kites, and the virus may be rewritten at any time to write down the next second of the era, as if it is a bad film again, only a bad film, is stable, reliable and strong. They are eternally rotten, always insulting our intelligence, forever bullying our three views, and always letting us go out of the cinema with the luck of a eunuch trying to poison.

No Chinese can escape the siege of the bad film universe, and the team that joined the bad film army this year has grown unprecedentedly, just to give an example, "Turandot: The Origin of the Spell".

Mao Jian | you can always believe in bad movies

Turandot: The Origin of the Spell poster

First show you the cast: Jiang Wen, Hu Jun, Sophie Marceau, Zou Zhaolong, Dylan Spliss, Guan Xiaotong, Vincent Perez and a large tandem army, yes, Jiang Wen is the Jiang Wen you know, Sophie is also the Marceau you have seen, plus the director Zheng Xiaolong, the director of the strongest TV series "Zhen Huan" in ten years, but what we see. I can't see anything, and I think the actor must have a financial problem before he will take such a film. Jiang Wen's two lumps and ten braids made me think about it and beg him to put down his plan to play Chairman Mao. The plot of the earth-shattering ghost god, adapted from the Italian opera, tells the story of an oriental princess cursed by the tricolor bracelet love and hate, set love, magic, suspense, palace fighting, war, martial arts, ethics, song and dance, western, science fiction, thriller, fairy tales in one, all the actors do not let each other pull hind legs, in fact, just by serving the Tao, you can apply for a will, or apply for humanitarian destruction. Anyway, after reading it, I want to say a word to Zheng Xiaolong, Jiang Wen, and Sophie, and from then on, we don't owe each other.

The rot of "Tu Rotten Duo" is very representative of 2021. This year's movies are either all kinds of magic changes or all kinds of blind continuations. Maybe because of the epidemic, the production companies are more conservative, have switched to big IP, the same is true for overseas theaters, a large number of sequels out, out of a bad one, such as "Venom 2", such as "The Matrix 4", such as "Chainsaw Horror 9", all the big coffee gathered, all filmed into garbage. Moreover, all of them are low-end routines, and the one that makes me most desperate is "Hacker", when Wachowski was more awesome, leading the global theory master wolf to run and suddenly can't keep up, and this year there will be a desperate poor routine love. And domestic films, this year's remake volume has reached a new high. "Door Lock" is a remake, "Sunshine Sister Tao" is a remake, "Your Wedding" is a remake, and they are all direct transplants regardless of the national conditions and the times, and finally end with the love of the gods and gods.

Mao Jian | you can always believe in bad movies

The Matrix Reboot Chinese mainland poster

It was really out of the tiger stripe by the love of this whole year. Have you seen "Moved Her 77 Times", a sequel to "Forgive Him 77 Times". After the separation of the male and female protagonists, the male protagonist did not die, the whole APP called "touched her 77 times", which is even if it is counted, all kinds of inexplicable twisting wall bang twisting wall bang, finally, good things are close to the wedding preparations, the result of the painting style turned, this is a sunset love wedding they made for the heroine's terminally ill mother. The so-called broken intestines in the end of the world should refer to the people who come out of the movie theater.

"Touched" can kill us seventy-seven times, and the love in "August Weiyang" can kill us eight hundred times. Xiao Qiao and Wei Yang are girlfriends, and one day a man appeared. Later, as you all know, men talk about marriage with one, and one can't stop. This movie was filmed, that is called an atmosphere, all kinds of random rotten bridge sections, out of the city center, escape a few hooligans to the wilderness, there must be lighthouses in the wild, in order to resist the cold to go in, cold frozen dog men and women can also sleep naked in the lighthouse, with lines so that the audience want to do for Skywalker. Listen to:

F: Why me?

M: From the first time I met you, I knew that I was doomed.

Mao Jian | you can always believe in bad movies

"August Weiyang" promotional poster

I hope that the relevant parties can permanently ban "in the doom" and permanently prohibit the plot of "scumbags trigger girlfriend blood cases", otherwise the moonlight of the whole screen will be green by this scumbag. The lower limit of domestic youth films is so endlessly declining, it is really bald. Look closely, none of those youth obstacle courses on the screen are real dilemmas. "Your Wedding", a Korean remake, a fifteen-year love run between the male and female protagonists, can't see where their obstacles are, but our choreographer is two people who are natural to break up in heaven and earth. Well, they won, listening to the sporadic cries in the movie theater, "Your Wedding" successfully transformed your funeral, and I silently left early.

Conscience of heaven and earth, as a semi-professional film critic, my ability to endure bad films is more than ninety-nine percent of the Chinese, especially this kind of movie with weddings, good villains also have to wait for the dishes to go together. In the end, one of the criteria for bad movies is that the dishes are better than people, and the animals are better than people, but this "Wedding" is really a bad movie family barrel, and like "Sunshine Robber", even tigers can't save them.

Mao Jian | you can always believe in bad movies

Stills from "Your Wedding"

However, none of the above is the worst of the year. The most incontinent in 2021 is "The Sun Never Sets on the Hotel", the plot of the nonsense we all skipped, Shen Teng written in black and white on the credits, the audience in order to see Shen Tengjin's cinema, where is Shen Teng? It was on an advertisement for cans. This kind of fraud should have dialed 110, but then I thought about it, give the Chinese audience a lesson, look at it, this is the comedy we want. No matter how bad it is, The Chinese audience will call the consumer association sooner or later. Just like in "Autobots" that year, even the credits were copied, and Chinese audiences finally called the police online.

Mao Jian | you can always believe in bad movies

"Shen Teng" in "The Sun Never Sets"

Anyway, the tone of most movies in 2021, when practicing listening in foreign languages, Chinese, when looking at travel advertisements. It can be seen that the bad film choreographers cannot be school bullies, because the schools in their lenses are dancing and playing ball every day to engage in club activities, just like "The Sky of burning wild boys". Playing with bad movies will never win. "Detective Chinatown 3", I didn't understand it, because the choreographer said that the core of this movie is anti-war.

In the past, there were a lot of pseudoscience in movies, but now not only is the science pseudo-literature pseudo-love pseudo-love, but even people and even dogs are pseudo-themes. Bad films are all kinds of wayward, per capita large villas are the norm, the powerful thing is that while living in large villas, while going downstairs is a slum, of course, such an environment is common in movies, so that the domineering president can go downstairs to take Cinderella, just like our crime movie, the princess Wang Sun involved in the case is finally taken away by the subtitles of justice.

A generation has a generation's screen memory, and a bad film has the eternity of a bad film. Many years later, at least we can tenaciously say that in 2021, the epidemic is still raging, and the bad film is still there. So, come out of the cinema, don't say anything more, just gently ask each other: "Oh, you are here too?" ”

Editor-in-Charge: Ding Xiongfei

Proofreader: Zhang Liangliang

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