1． After a year of business trip, when I came back and found that my girlfriend was pregnant, I was furious and slapped the table: "Tell me quickly, who the hell is this child?" The girlfriend said with a look of disdain, "Yes."

1． After a year of business trip, when I came back and found that my girlfriend was pregnant, I was furious and slapped the table: "Tell me quickly, who the hell is this child?" The girlfriend said with disdain: "Does it matter who it is, who Jesus' father is, do you know, did not become the founder of Christianity; who is Sun Wukong's father, do you know, did not become a fighting Buddha; Liu Bang's father is a big snake or Liu Taigong You know, people do not still become emperors!" Therefore, it doesn't matter who the son says, as long as there is a job, call your father on the line, you don't take advantage of it and sell it! ”

2． Working in Xiaomi's factory, and the supervisor of the workshop often joked. After that dinner, everyone went to the KTV to sing together. The man took the wheat and said to me, "How do you look so much like my son?" I also picked up the wheat and said, "Nonsense! Obviously your son looks like me! Suddenly, there was a burst of laughter from inside the box.

3． The father-in-law bought a two-color to ask for the first prize, immediately forced his mother-in-law to divorce, and then married a young beautiful model. Within a few days of getting married, his father-in-law began to suspect that his wife had someone outside. The father-in-law returned early from a business trip and knocked on the door for half a day before his wife opened the door. The father-in-law found that his wife's face was red and had not yet gone down, and directly pushed her open, under the window, the cabinet, the kitchen, all looked for it. In the end, nothing was found, and the dog hiding in the toilet was shivering!

4． Today I went to the hospital for examination, and after going home, my girlfriend said to me: Tell you a good news, I am pregnant, I was angry at the time, looking at the infertility report in my hand, I can't help but give my girlfriend a slap! Why didn't you say it earlier? I was scared to death by this report! Girlfriend: People are not worried that you don't want this child! Hurry up and throw away that report, the current hospital pit people are very bad, let's go home, I will make dumplings for you to eat! I feel very happy to see my girlfriend's flushed little face!

5． The boyfriend was scolded by his boss and went out for a drink with a few colleagues in the evening. Eventually he drank too much, and his colleague called me to take him home. It was already more than twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, it was still raining lightly, and he sat on the side of the road and refused to go home. I got angry, got up and went home, and when he saw me gone, he quickly chased after me. When I got home, the man said, "Now it's time for you to chase me."

6． Today is my husband's twenty-eighth birthday, and as soon as I came home, I saw a surprise. The wife not only bought a lot of good dishes for her husband to make and eat, but also invited several of her good sisters to celebrate her husband's birthday! After eating, I went to sing until midnight before I came back... If the husband didn't need to wash the dishes at home and wash a lot of clothes, the husband would definitely have followed... Does the wife really still love herself!?

7． Fang Zhan knew a rich woman, and every time the rich woman went to visit Fang Zhan, Fang Zhan urged her to find a boyfriend. There was really no way, the rich woman handed Fang Zhan a photo of the star and said, "This is my boyfriend." Fang Zhan grabbed the photo, looked at it carefully for half a minute, frowned and said, "If you don't look for it, you don't look for it, why do you want to lie to me with the photos of my youth?" The rich woman gave Fang Zhan a blank look: "I don't understand the style, no wonder you are single." ”

8． Today the abbot ate an elbow, and as a result, the high blood pressure directly soared. At night, I went to the hospital for injections, the little nurse asked him to hit the hand, the abbot said casually, said that he had last infusion, said that he had infused his right hand, and the nurse had not pierced it. Later, I changed my left hand, but I still didn't tie it, and finally I directly tied my arm. I don't know if the nurse has a bad look........ After saying that, the abbot looked at the little nurse, and the hands that had just been stretched out "whizzed" and hid behind him. Then he whispered, "Do you have a nurse in your hospital?" ”

 #Funny##Funny Moment##搞笑段子 #