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1. There was a young woman downstairs in my house, divorced for a year, very beautiful, I wondered if I could chase her in hand, one day in the community, I saw the young woman carrying two suitcases, it seemed a little

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1. There was a young woman downstairs in my house, divorced for a year, very beautiful, I wondered if I could chase her in hand, one day in the community, I saw the young woman carrying two suitcases, it seemed a little difficult. I'm a clever one, isn't this an opportunity coming? Quickening the pace, he said very gentlemanly, Beauty, I will help you get it. She turned her head and smiled faintly: "Thank you, don't bother, I can do it myself." I said, along the way I was also in this building, Room 501 said after handing me one of the suitcases in her hand, she said: "Oh.... Oh, thank you. The elevator quickly stopped on the third floor, and the young woman walked out of the elevator with a luggage bag and headed toward Room 301. The young woman took the bag in my hand: "My name is Ge Juan, and I am a middle school teacher who has been living here for the time being. I wiped my hands on my jeans and said, my name is Hu Bian, I am also a teacher, I teach primary school, we are the same profession, and I will often ask you for advice in the future, add a WeChat! After adding it, they went back to the room. In this way, we often talked in our leisure time and became familiar with each other. At ten o'clock in the evening, when I walked in the room for the first time and took her into my arms, I found that she had a very strong fox odor. But I still loved her very much, at that time I was ready to take a deep breath and kiss her again, who knows sucking too much, I just fainted.

2. Wrapped around 1314 flowers, I asked the school flowers: "Xiaomei, what flowers do you like?" The school flower replied shyly, "I like two kinds of flowers. I asked eagerly, "Which two?" I send it to you. The school flower whispered: "There is money to spend, and it is easy to spend." I said stupidly, "You're so beautiful." The school flower said, "I am beautiful." I said affectionately, "The beauty of thinking..."

3. At the beginning of the month, my wife gave me pocket money, and I excitedly planned to buy a LOL skin for 288 yuan. I didn't expect my wife to deduct my pocket money again, saying that she would give me 600 per month, and this month she would buy clothes and deduct 500 yuan from me! I was angry and asked him on the spot: "Have you ever considered my feelings about this little bit of money?" "She said: Of course I have considered it, but I am afraid that you will not adapt to deducting it for a month, so I will deduct it every month in the future." Well, what I said actually made me powerless to refute...

4.?The brother went on a business trip and came back early, wanted to surprise my sister-in-law, and found a pair of strange men's shoes at the door. Gritting his teeth and knocking calmly on the door, my sister-in-law was really surprised. My brother smiled and said, "Go change your clothes and I'll take you to dinner!" "While my sister-in-law went to the bathroom to freshen up, my brother found a piece of glass glue and sealed the wardrobe door up and down. When going out, the sister-in-law picked up the pair of men's shoes and put them in the house, smiled and said: "A person at home, I had to put a pair of men's shoes at the door, your shoes are expensive, afraid of losing, online 1."

5. Some time ago, I met a beautiful girl on the subway, and the woman came to me and asked if I had any change. I said no, a week ago, we met again, my sister asked me if I had a phone, just I didn't bring it, again said no. I told my friend, my friend scolded me for being stupid, the next time I met, no matter what I asked, I said yes first. The third time I met my sister, the sister actually stopped talking, and I deliberately stepped on her twice. The girl turned back and asked: Are you sick? I smiled and nodded vigorously, and then there was no then, I felt that my IQ was going to make me desperate...?

6. At night, I went out to run Didi, pulled a beautiful girl, and after getting into the car, she said: "Brother, run as you like!" "I said girl, let's dodi, not rent. The girl was arrogant: "Brother, I am not bad for money, just run, just listen to me!" I immediately got angry, pulled the girl along the city wall, and an hour later, I kindly reminded: "Sister, 300!" The girl looked at it and said, "Brother, are you taking a detour?" You pull from the south gate of the city wall to my goose pagoda, how can you have so much money? I suddenly became vigilant: "Sister, you said to run casually." The girl was not pleased, and said, "If you can prove that I said that, I will marry you!" "I said I couldn't prove it, count me unlucky, I don't want money." The girl was anxious: "Brother, Didi Car recorded the whole process, you check ah, must have said, you check it and you will know!" "I'm getting more and more vigilant, even if I paste 300 upside down, it can't prove it, do you say I did the right thing?"

7. My wife respected me more, so I was the head of the family at home. She made rules at home, she decided the big things, I decided the big things... In her eyes, there are no small things, as long as there are things, it is a big thing, I can raise objections, but the result must be raised to vote, the daughter's vote is always unswervingly following the footsteps of her wife. One day I quietly asked my daughter, "I'm so good to you, can't you support me once?" Daughter: "Dad, don't be stupid, is my support useful?" It angered my mother, cut off my snacks, and you can't find a place to steal food! "I was speechless...

8. When I went to dinner at noon, I didn't expect to meet the CEO in the elevator. From the 25th floor to the 8th floor, I was assigned two tasks, and I was not at ease with eating. As soon as I got out of the elevator door on the 8th floor, the moment the door closed, I angrily turned toward the CEO than a finger upwards. I never expected this elevator to be too sensitive, and I opened it again!

 #Funny##Funny Moment##搞笑段子 #

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