1. Dad had long felt that my son didn't look like me, and eventually hid it from me and took my son to do DNA, and the results showed that the grandfather and grandson did not have a half-cent relationship. The wife cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I personally did a DNA test with my son, and the results showed that the two were father and son. Then my dad and I went for DNA testing, and it turned out that we didn't have a half-cent relationship. The old mother cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I did a DNA test with my mother, and the results showed that we were also not related to half a cent. Excluding genetic mutations, there is only one possibility in the hospital to hold the wrong child. Overnight our family rushed to the hospital where I was born. The old nurse flipped through the yellowed paper file and finally said that there was only one boy born that day and at the same time as me, called xxx. My wife was stunned, and so was I. Carefully checked all the information of the little boy, and finally determined that the little boy was the wife's "brother". The wife trembled and called her father-in-law and mother-in-law and her "brother-in-law." Her "brother" was abducted to do DNA testing with my father and mother," and I was abducted to do DNA testing with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. The results showed that my father-in-law and mother-in-law had a father-son mother-son relationship, and my wife and brother-in-law and my parents had a father-son mother-son relationship. In other words, my wife is my sister, and I am my wife's brother. But we are brothers and sisters, and the children are the products of close relatives, so why is there nothing unusual? In the end, I had to do another DNA test with my wife. The test results showed that the two did not have a half-cent relationship. Fortunately, my wife is not my sister. I'm not my wife's brother either. so...... Who the hell is she? With doubt, I looked at my father-in-law's mother-in-law's biological parents. The wife was very excited, and tearfully forced the two old men to ask who they were. The biological father said, "You... I actually picked it up from the garbage heap. ”
2. After graduating from New Oriental, my cousin went to Quanjude as an apprentice, and as a result, the gas tank aged and exploded, and my cousin unfortunately died. My cousin remarried me with the 6.8 million yuan that the restaurant owner lost, and today my brother followed her home for dinner. During the meal, she suddenly said to me, "Honey, kiss me." I was shocked that she had this request: "Ah??? So many people, not good??? She said, "Oh, kiss me!!! I was directly a big mouth: "Let me kiss your aunt's chin for a while, and then let me kiss your mother, your brain is sick!!! ”
3. After Lanxiang graduated, I worked part-time to rent a house in Biguiyuan for convenience. One day, my girlfriend came to the rental house to play with me. Chatting and talking, my girlfriend actually told me that she was going to lie down on my window and try whether the window was warm or not. I was startled at first, and then decisively threw her out. Looking at the back of my girlfriend leaving, I let out a long breath. What are you kidding? If she found out that I peed out the window last night, would she want me to live?
4. The brother-in-law bought a house and forced his father-in-law and mother-in-law to repay the mortgage. My father-in-law and mother-in-law had to agree and went to work in other places. As soon as the old couple got off the train, they were kidnapped by a robber who demanded 5 million. My father-in-law said, "I can only come up with $50." The kidnapper shouted: "Less pretending to be poor, I just heard you on the train saying that 600,000 yuan to your son and daughter-in-law, but also travel, buy cars, eat seafood." The father-in-law said helplessly: "Cough, you didn't hear the previous words, I and my daughter-in-law are talking about daydreams after winning the lottery!" But we don't have extra money to buy lottery tickets! ”
5. Yesterday my father told me that in fact, our family is very rich, he did not tell me before because he was afraid of my pride and did not want to make progress, and now that I am grown up, it is time to tell me the truth. I didn't believe it, my father transferred 10 million to me, and I believed it, so I took the 10 million to the 4S store to buy a car. The test car was very smooth, that is, when the payment was made, I was woken up by the urine.?
6. My younger brother, who went to college in Guangdong, had a hard time taking a vacation, and as a result, he angered his mother on the first day he came back. The brother pulled the suitcase and said to my mother: Pack my clothes for me, I want to run away from home, hurry! My dad and my mom were having a lot of fun, and then my mom took my brother into the room. A few minutes later, my brother came out in a little pants, Mom: Let's go! You've been cleansed!
7. The female manager knew that I was a graduate student at a well-known 985 institution, and then transferred me to her as an assistant. The other day, I accompanied the female manager on a business trip to the south and stayed in a five-star hotel at night. I've never stayed in such a nice hotel, and the life of a high-class person like me really can't enjoy it. After going to the bathroom and coming out of the toilet, the waiter at the door actually handed me a towel. There was no way, so I had to go back and wipe it again with a towel, then fold it and give it back to him.
8. Watch TV at home at night, and buy a cigarette box at a convenience store in the community when there is no smoke. After choosing it, I just gave the money and wanted to buy an ice cream. The little Lori next to me looked straight at the ice cream in my hand. So I asked her: Do you want to eat? Little Lori nodded fiercely. I said: If you say something nice, I'll give it to you. Little Lori hesitated for three or four seconds, and said weakly: Husband.
#Funny##Funny Moment##搞笑段子 #