1, I girl a piece of paper, today with friends to play dice, lose 20 yuan once, did not expect the last round, I: or lose you to me, I look at you. Unexpectedly, this goods went to double the money for me, saying let me let him go. It seriously hurt my self-esteem, but I seemed to have found a way to get rich.
2, when I learned the driver's license, the coach is a funny and humorous person, once a few of us were practicing running. The sister was driving, and the coach suddenly said to her: See the motorcycle in front of you? Sister Shi: I see. Coach: Hurry up and shout at him: I'm coming ~ hurry up and get out of the way! Shi Jie wondered: Why do you use shouting? The coach had a look of hatred for iron and steel: Then why don't you honk the horn!
3, I am a meter eight of the big masters, because the university is a nursing major, so there are more female girlfriends. On this day, a girlfriend called and cried and told me that her rich second-generation boyfriend had broken up with her, and how I comforted her was useless, in order to prevent her from doing anything stupid, I took her to find a master who counted marriages: "This girl's marriage is far away in the sky, close at hand." "I was about to ask the master what this meant, only to see the female girlfriend on the side crying even harder, and her mouth was still nagging to jump off the building...
4, after graduation, I moved bricks at the construction site to make money, and finally had money to open a brother company, the company's benefits are very good, within two years I bought maybach. In the morning, I saw a former schoolgirl in a friend's hair circle saying that there was no money in the jianghu emergency, I quickly transferred 5,000 to her, and p.s. The student replied: Thank you senior, I love you, be my boyfriend. I was furious when I saw it, and immediately refused, replying: Don't you want to pay back the money to be my girlfriend? Dream big dreams of spring and autumn!
5. After graduation, I delivered express delivery in SF and met a rich woman who lived in Country Garden. On this day, he accompanied the rich woman to hang out in the LV private custom shop and met his ex-girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend flauntingly said: I'm married, what about you? Presumably still alone, right? I looked at the rich woman with a distressed look, who expected her to understand in seconds. The rich woman hugged me and spoiled, honey, people want to buy that global limited edition of the bag! Isn't that nice! Haha, only to see the ex-girlfriend's face immediately blackened.
6. On the day of graduation, the class leader proposed that the whole class sit in a circle, and each person wrote a secret on the note and passed it on to the person on the left, so that each person shared his own secret and also kept a secret of someone else. I deliberately sat to his left. I had a crush for four years but didn't dare to confess, and I consoled myself by knowing one of his secrets. There were only three words on the note that came: I love you.
7, ten years after graduation or nothing, is worried about how to find a reason to push away the demolition of the hometown when the classmates gathered, lost 38 million. So I went with the Maserati I had just bought in full. During the banquet, everyone chatted, and a classmate suddenly said: "During the military training, I accidentally put the toothbrush of the classmate in the same room into the toilet, I picked it up, rinsed it, washed it and put it back on him." Me: "Hahaha! Didn't he feel the smell of the toothbrush? That's stupid! Hahaha! The classmate squinted at me and didn't speak. Then I suddenly remembered that when the military trained him, he was not in the same room as me...
8, after graduating for so many years, yesterday at the party I found out that I am the most important person in our class, and my classmates are eager to see me. The squad leader first shouted: "Chen Yanming, that bastard has come, borrowed me 800 yuan that year, and now it has not been repaid!" Ban Hua also thought of me: "I was also looking for him, when he lied to me that he was a rich second generation, and then he made my belly bigger, and the money for the tire was not given to me!" The study committee member was also anxious: "This bastard used to change my homework book to his own name, which is really shameless." ”
9, after graduation into a software company, recently the company took over a project, the boss let me be responsible. I didn't go home after working overtime for several days every day, and yesterday the project delivery could go home and rest well. When I got home, I saw my favorite plum button meat on the table! I hurried to serve rice, a large bowl of button meat to eat the essence! After eating and preparing to brush the bowl, I found that there was a note pressed under the bowl of button meat: Girl, this bowl of button meat has been hot for several days and no one has eaten, if you have not eaten, come to the big hotel, I and your aunt's family are eating there.
10. After graduation, the mother had to arrange a blind date for her daughter, but she agreed. The matchmaker said: "The other party is an introverted boy who will not please girls, and his requirements are relatively high, so he is not married at the age of 30!" When we met, the daughter asked the man: "You graduated at the age of 22, why did you go in the remaining years, and didn't you fall in love?" The man replied, "I'm waiting for you!" "Matchmaker, you come over and explain, this is the legendary introversion will not please the girl?"
11, Country Garden sent a commission of 100,000 to me, I went directly to the 4S store to pick up a Dongfeng Nissan. Unexpectedly, I just drove the car to the door and was hit by a female owner of a Rolls-Royce, the owner: private! I immediately replied: What is private? I just bought this car, 83460 yuan! The female owner of rolls-royce added my WeChat and said that there was an emergency and rushed away! After I got home, I didn't expect her to really transfer 90,000 yuan to me!
12, after graduation, my cousin opened a physical store downstairs to sell clothes, sometimes online. On this day, a girl went to the store to buy clothes, and finally did not buy them because the price was too high. In the evening, someone bought a piece of the same money online, and the cousin said that the same city can pick up the goods. Early in the morning, the girl who did not buy it yesterday because of the price came to the door again, and looking at her embarrassed look, I really did not have the embarrassment to speak.
13, the cousin at the beginning of last year set up a kiss, gave the woman a bride price, at the end of the year the woman brought a boyfriend back. The cousin went to retire to ask for the bride price, and the woman pulled the skin and refused to return the bride price. Several cousins were angry, but they summed up and decided to go to her house on the second day of the New Year to visit the New Year! Gathered the older single young men in the village, waited at the entrance of the woman's village, half an hour, carrying gifts in line to her home, and called her parents when she entered the door! Before noon, the woman's parents called the matchmaker and promised to return the bride price!