1. Once on a train sleeper, the upper bunk was a young woman, looking good. At night, there were only two of us in the whole train room, and the young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above, and then said to me, you are a good person at first glance, you should not have any thoughts about me, right? I was surprised and said, good people also like beautiful women, you look so beautiful, I have ideas about you is a very normal thing. The beautiful woman said helplessly, then do you have a wife? I shook my head and said, I haven't married yet, and she asked again, do you have a girlfriend? I shook my head and said my first love was still there. She sighed and said, this is deep in the middle of the night, there are only two of us in the whole sleeper private room, you will definitely bully me, forget it, I will still be your girlfriend directly. I have a girlfriend for no reason, and I am quite dizzy, but this is also very good, and finally ended the single state. After getting off the train, I took her to a big meal, bought her jewelry bags and clothes, and her mood was obviously better, she smiled and said, I didn't expect you to be rich. I shook my head and said, I have worked for so many years, I have only saved tens of thousands of dollars, and today I spent all of it on you. She looked at me with a complicated look and said, You are really good to me, but your money has been spent, what should we do in the future? It's impossible to drink the northwest wind, right?
2. Usually I go to bed late, so I often go downstairs to buy a barbecue, today, I went again, the downstairs barbecue seller has not yet come, I called him. The eldest brother said over there: "After selling barbecues for so many years, I have always been free, and since I met you, I actually have the feeling of going to work!" Wait, I'll be here right away! ”
3. Usually you feel that your girlfriend is very weak, even the bottle cap can not be unscrewed, in fact, they are loaded, if you do not believe, you can let her open a courier to try, make sure to tear you apart immediately!
4. There is a roommate in our dormitory who usually loves to snore when she sleeps, and this morning, she asked me again: "I didn't snore last night, did I?" I replied, "I don't know if you snored or not, but last night the voice-activated lights were flashing all the time, and today I guess I'm tired!" I don't know if I can use it at night! ”
5. Inside the park, there is a man and a woman walking, male: I can pick the stars for you or the moon for you, and I can take off the sun for you, and you want me to give it to you. F: Then you show me your phone. M: No! I can promise you anything else!
6. On the weekend a man went back to his hometown, suddenly there was a power outage in the house, he wanted to write but could not see, so he began to imitate the ancients chiseled the wall to borrow light, but after chiseling through the wall, he found that the next door also had a power outage! Ha ha... This IQ is also no one!
7. It's about to be my birthday, and today my wife was very excited and said to me: "Husband, you have a birthday, I really want to pack myself up and express it to you." I replied, "That's not okay, the gifts are too expensive!" I saw my wife's face, and immediately I said, "The courier is too expensive, because you are too heavy!" It costs a lot of money! ”
8. I don't know why, my wife has been learning to cook for a few days, and tonight I made a chopped pepper fish head, let me taste it, I took a bite, and said: What a good dish! Looking at her a little happy, I said again: It's a pity that it was ruined! She said coldly: Then it will be rewarded to you, and there is no leftover! I'll make you feel good when you're left!
9. There is nothing to do at home on the weekend, just lie in bed and watch TV, my wife washed two apples over, I reached out and prepared to pick them up, and the result was that my wife came to say: Next, please enjoy the program I brought you, one person eats two apples! Please applaud me!
10. One day, I was resting at home, and my husband was educating his son: "Look at you, a day is not playing with mobile phones or computers!" The son said: "I play with the phone to give the computer a break, I play with the computer to give the phone a break!" Am I doing something wrong? ”
11. At night, I watched a TV series with my wife, and when I saw the emotion, I said: Wife, I suddenly want to experience the feeling of being loved. When my wife heard this, she slapped me and said: This is the feeling of sadness! Did you get it? #Funny Humor Anecdotes # #幽默搞笑段子 #