Either forget or give up

Once, it wasn't until my husband found me that I didn't know my good husband had cheated on me. I kept asking him, and my husband confessed truthfully. He said he had worked with a conductor for several years and that the relationship between him and them grew stronger by the day. I'm very angry. With the heroine outside, I can come back and play the role of a good teacher like everyone else. His acting skills can directly win the best actor. I gritted my teeth and asked him, "Have you ever had sex?" "My husband told me truthfully: they once had.

　　At this point, I was so dizzy that I could hardly hold my hands against the wall and watch. Under the double betrayal of her husband's spirit and body. He betrayed me and my original good vows. The anger of the sky overwhelmed me at once. Starting to chase my husband wasn't the best, so I didn't hesitate to follow him. He was just an ordinary bus driver. What I like is his character. It seems that my personality is sometimes unreliable and I feel unworthy. I shouted at him, "Life can't go on, let's get a divorce!" The husband was quick to explain that he and his female colleague had turned off their phones and were no longer partners. He knew he was wrong, so this time I asked me to forgive him.

　　I was too careful to put anything in my stomach and it was uncomfortable. Although cheating is common, I still can't accept it. I sarcastically asked my daughter who she would choose to marry if we divorced. The daughter thought for a moment and said, "Mom, if you divorce Your Father, I will marry your Father." "My daughter knows my weaknesses. I could have done without my husband, but I couldn't have without her. For the sake of the children, we did not go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to renew the certificate.

　　To show all the love before is to slap yourself. The act of deleting WeChat is too obvious and easy to cause a lot of speculation. I quietly set the circle of friends to be visible for three days. Keep the calm of the home surface.

　　But my husband and I never went back.

　　My husband used to bring me a box lunch at noon. I put a lot of ideas in his lunch box. Every day, meat and vegetarian combination, full of color and fragrance. Now, I don't have that heart anymore. At first, I pretended to give him the leftovers from the night before. Later, I simply bought a box of instant noodles and a bag of ham sausages to take with me. That day, my husband said, "These are junk food. Eating too much is not good. I said, "Isn't it nice for junk people to eat junk food?" "I couldn't believe it myself, saying such unkind things out of my mouth. My husband was blue in the face, but he resisted the attack. During the meal, my husband said, "This dish is best served with oyster sauce." I said, "You've got to eat it yourself, the one who likes oyster sauce." "Two sentences will kill you, and gradually we will stop talking."

　　I used to iron my husband's clothes neatly. Now, only a fool would iron a uniform. Watch my husband awkwardly holding a steam iron. I didn't even blink an eye as I passed him. One night, my husband's hand just touched my arm, and I said coldly, "Don't touch me, it's dirty." The husband's hand hung weakly. He was really angry and went to the study with a pillow. One thunderclap night, I covered my ears and shivered under my pillow. When my husband pushed the door in, I was still yelling at him: "Roll! The husband said, "I know you're afraid..." I pushed him out angrily and locked the bedroom door from the inside. This push is tantamount to pushing off the chances of eventual reconciliation. Since that day, my husband has lived in the study. My husband's infidelity was like a thorn in my heart. Although it hurts to think about, I still think about it a thousand times a day. When I got home, I looked at my husband's face and felt even more disgusted. I don't like him.

　　My husband was in a trance and used the throttle twice as a brake. He did not dare to joke about the lives of passengers and applied for a transfer. He liked the steering wheel and the feeling of just starting to park. Now, he can only indulge in his own private car. Since then, I've been unhappy every day and have been drinking. Sometimes, he's pathetic, but the thought of him feeling home in front of a good man and still having sweet talk to another woman makes me sick.

　　As for me, I'm not much better. On the surface, I'm energetic and seem to be very dedicated to my work. Only I know I'm really wasteful. Spring flowers, summer nights starry skies, autumn yellow leaves, winter snow, can not arouse your interest. No matter how delicious the food is and how beautiful the clothes are, there is no desire to buy. I became the walking dead and imprisoned myself. I used to be lively and cheerful, able to speak and laugh, but I didn't know where I went. My body often starts to have small problems and my hair is a lot whiter. We don't seem to be able to get through.

　　What was once a bright and clean home became a mess. The goldfish tank is empty and the leaves of the green plants are dry. In the past, my husband and I had a good life, watching movies together and walking together. Although our family is neither rich nor expensive, we are always happy. Now, we haven't been in the same framework for a long time. The warm home became the grave of the living dead. It wasn't until my daughter came home that my husband and I said a few words, and then we showed up.

　　Daughters at sensitive ages are naturally aware of it. Before going to school that day, she said to me and my husband, "Mom and Dad, I didn't agree to your divorce before because I didn't want our family to break up." If you continue like this, you might as well leave. I support your divorce. She slammed the door shut and left. I let out a long sigh of relief, and the tears flowed silently.

　　There really wasn't a barrier, it was just that I was hesitating. This home is a love nest that my husband and I built little by little like swallows holding mud. Now, are you going to break up? Break up after a fight? I suddenly realized that I hated my husband, but I still loved him. I have an idea: if I can still accept him and live together, then I must completely forget his affair, seal it in my heart, and not let it affect our lives anymore. If I can't accept him, then choose to let go and give up our marriage. I can't sleep. Seeing that the light in the study was still on, I pushed open the door of the study. The husband sat on the floor and poured bottle after bottle into his stomach. My husband and I talked for a long time and came to an agreement: After three months, we tried to start over, and if we couldn't change the status quo, we separated. The next day, I made a beautiful haircut and dyed it a funky color that means "start from scratch." Later, I went to the mall to buy a beautiful dress. Then I went to the supermarket, looked at the shelves full of goods, and finally felt something. I don't seem to be short of money. When I see something I like, I throw it in my shopping cart. At checkout, I pack three bags. I hesitated for a long time before I dialed my husband's phone: "Can you pick me up?" I bought too many things to bring. "It was the first time I took the initiative to call him after my affair. The husband on the other end of the phone was a little excited and said a series of good words. When my husband arrived, he was carrying a heavy shopping bag in both hands, and I followed him empty-handed. No matter how many things he had bought before, he always carried it in one hand and held me in the other.

　　It started to rain outside and my husband asked me to wait while he was driving. I looked at his back and remembered that every time it rained heavily, he would carry me through the puddle in front of the community, and his mouth was not idle: "You are so heavy, you really want to lose weight." I grabbed his ear until he grinned and begged for forgiveness.

　　Maybe I remembered many of his virtues, maybe I thought I might be separated, and I began to communicate calmly with my husband. The atmosphere in the home slowly thawed and began to ease. We talk to each other about what's happening at work and comment on the news on TV. On the day of Tanabata, my husband shyly handed me my favorite yellow rose. I also took out the chocolate hidden in the bottom of the bag and gave it to him.

　　The countdown date is written on the whiteboard in the living room. We reacquainted and accepted each other as we did the first time we met.

　　That night, my husband made my favorite seafood dinner. He's not very good at cooking, but he can eat seafood. What is rare is that my husband actually bought dumpling skins and wrapped dumplings with mackerel filling. After sitting down, my husband peeled the shrimp for me, picked out the fish bones, and silently placed them on the small plate in front of me. He asked anxiously, "Tomorrow is the ninetieth day." Will you choose to go or stay? I asked him, "What about you?" My husband raised his glass and looked me in the eye and smiled.

　　The two drunks were a little drunk. I took a nap and woke up to find my husband lying next to me, snoring like thunder, one hand clutching my hand. I think my husband who suddenly slept was cute.

　　Our two lost lambs finally found their way home. Forgiveness is a difficult process. Those painful days felt like a nightmare. In fact, giving each other a chance is also giving yourself a chance. I'm glad I survived.