Today I read a book, which compares feelings to accounts, pay = investment, ask = loan, on this basis, how to correctly "save money"?
The author proposes 7 methods ↓
(1) Understanding
Understanding others is the basis of all feelings, and it is impossible to understand how to talk about friendship?
I saw how feminine Aoyama was, and I expected Aoyama to see me as I should be.
You have equal status in each other's minds in order to maintain a good relationship.
(2) Details
Pay attention to details, maybe you have a heart to heart, but there are some insignificant little things that will cause you to have a gap.
If a house is not swept, why sweep the world.
Feeling is a small thing that doesn't matter to you, but in the hearts of others, it becomes a symbol that you don't value each other's feelings.
(3) Trustworthiness
It is like a loan, after making a promise, the feelings of others are like needles to you, but if you do not achieve it, do not repay the money regularly, then you will be a dishonest person in the future, and the other party will no longer believe you.
If the long-term attribute is equivalent to having a high credit limit, it will believe you, and everything you say will be accepted by everyone.
(4) Have clear expectations
Your association with others, or their association with you, is certainly purposeful.
Such as family affection, love, friendship.
Only by knowing what he wants us to do, what we want him to do, can we ensure that there is no conflict and that we can meet that expectation and make the relationship better.
(5) Honesty
Who's behind nobody's back? Who doesn't talk about people behind their backs?
But we have to keep it in person and behind the scenes is a way of doing things, behind the scenes, then I will also make suggestions in person, praise behind the scenes, and also give praise.
Not being misunderstood is also one of the cornerstones of ensuring that feelings remain unchanged.
(6) Apologize
If you do something wrong, have the courage to apologize.
Responsibility cannot be shirked, but must be brave enough to take responsibility.
Apologies should not be superficial, but should be sincere and sincere, nor can they be stolen multiple times, but explain things at once, or make up for things.
(7) Unconditional love
There is a reason to love you, but your reward is not necessary.
The greatest reward we seek is to be able to grow ourselves from a relationship, not something from someone else.
Conditional love will often cause the other party to resist, and will also oppose for the sake of opposition, conditional love will reflect the immature psychology of people, indicating that they are still constrained and dependent on each other's feelings.
If you want to learn more, just take a look at the original book → "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"