Gu Cheng once wrote in a poem: "The grass is bearing its seeds, the wind is shaking its leaves, and we stand and do not speak, which is very beautiful." ”
People who work hard together, don't please anymore, bother maintain the relationship, don't force it anymore.
A comfortable relationship must be close to each other and have a scale, and they are not tired of looking at each other.
With such a person, you don't have to deliberately cater to it, and you don't have to bend over backwards. You can talk about the north and south of the sky, or you can quietly not say a word.
And did you find out?
To have such a long-term relationship, it is often necessary to do these 3 points.
Comfortable relationship, expensive in not flattering
Feelings can not afford to consume, do not wronged yourself for others, people's feelings, should be a two-way rush.
Whenever I say this, I think of Su Qing.
She is not only a talented woman in the Republic of China, but also a famous family. However, her marriage was not so smooth.
After getting married, Su Qing thought that she could live a life of Qinser and Ming with her husband.
Unexpectedly, the other party only wanted to pass on the lineage, and did not have the slightest affection for her.
Su Qing naively thought that as long as she was virtuous enough, she would not worry that her husband would not change his mind one day.
So she gave up the career she loved, stopped reading, and stopped writing poetry.
Every day, she would get up early and willingly walk around the stove to keep her home in good order.
In just a few short years, he added several children to the family.
But Su Qing forgot:
Not everyone knows how to cherish, and people who don't put you in their hearts are futile no matter how much they force it.
Even if Su Qing is tolerant, her mother-in-law will still harshly accuse her of not giving birth to a son.
Her husband often taunted her because she didn't like to dress up, and sometimes, she would even hit Su Qing with her hands.
At that time, Su Qing realized that the original feelings were like a balance, and the more you valued others, the lower others would regard you.
As Mo Yan said: "Deliberately pleasing people, what is damaged can only be the dignity of the self." ”
A really good relationship does not need to expend energy to please each other, and two people are already naturally comfortable.
After the divorce, Su Qing finally no longer had to aggrieved herself to see her mother-in-law's face, and the opposite sex around her slowly began to get along with speculation.
In front of the other party, she can wear coarse cloth clothes at will, and she does not have to whisper softly at all times.
Su Qing finally became that unrestrained self.
Not only that, she also regained her love of books and continued to create, and the work "Ten Years of Marriage" once swept Shanghai.
A comfortable relationship must be because the heart meets the cherished, the payment is responded to, and it can always make people easy to be themselves.
Comfortable relationship, expensive in understanding transposition
I don't know if you have this feeling:
There are always some people around me, no matter how big or small, are especially willing to provoke.
You asked her out for dinner, and she asked, "How much do you earn in a month, go out and enjoy every day?" ”
You ask her what she thinks, and she scolds you, "No, you don't even know this?" ”
To be honest, getting along with this kind of person is really physically and mentally exhausting.
Because the other party always tries to overpower you in words, proving that you are not good, far inferior to yourself.
A few days ago, I saw such a message in the background: "Xiao Lai, I really can't stand her!" ”
In fact, this is not the first time that the reader @ Xiaotong has complained to me, and I can see that she is really confused.
She and her friend, whom she met in college, went to Guangzhou after graduation, and she returned to her hometown of Shanxi.
There was once a video chat between two people.
She told her friends that she had found a new job as an accountant and was particularly satisfied.
As a result, the friend on the other end of the mobile phone poured cold water: "You can earn a few dollars in this work, but it is not enough to eat a few takeaway meals in Guangzhou." ”
I didn't think that just a year ago, my friends couldn't go on mixing in Guangzhou, decided to come to Xiaotong, and every day I opened my mouth and closed my mouth: My work can all count on you!
Xiao Tong was kind, introduced a sales job to her, and could earn a lot of money a month counting bonuses.
But the friend was not happy: "Do you still need to find such a job?" After knowing each other for so many years, not once can I count on you! ”
Xiao Tong told me that he was an honest worker, and his heart was really sour in the face of such sarcasm from his friends.
No matter how good the feelings, they will be ruined by nature, not to mention some things, help is the love, not to help is the duty.
To make friends, isn't it a true heart, and isn't it the acquaintance and companionship of two souls?
It was clear that this reader had met the wrong person.
To understand each other is to be kind to yourself. A comfortable relationship is indispensable to exchange hearts for hearts.
Comfortable relationship, expensive in the no matter
There was a hot question on the Internet: "What are the ways to make friends that you regret not knowing earlier?" ”
Someone replied, "Be sure to stay away from being preoccupied and loving friends who are greedy and cheap." ”
If you think about it, it's true.
Because calculating people have two fatal weaknesses: greed and short-sightedness. If we interact with such people for a long time, we will only suffer losses.
On This year's Double Eleven, Li Jiaqi rode the dust and created sales of more than 10 billion yuan.
Behind the scenery, many people may have forgotten his former good partner: Fu Peng.
At that time, Li Jiaqi was just an ordinary salesman, living in a dilapidated rental house.
Fu Peng, on the other hand, has long been the manager of the store and has good industry qualifications.
But when the two got along, Fu Peng did not dislike Li Jiaqi's identity, but saw his potential and proposed to accompany him to Shanghai to work.
At the beginning, the live broadcast room was very deserted, and Fu Peng had been interacting with Li Jiaqi in the message area in order to give him confidence.
Slowly, Li Jiaqi was red through half the sky, and tens of millions of people watched the live broadcast every day.
And Fu Peng became the one who always paid for him.
He would carefully sort out tens of thousands of lipsticks, so many that the shelves were bent.
Before the start of the broadcast, he will also calculate the price of the product, mark the discount, and facilitate Li Jiaqi to directly say the selling point.
Someone once asked Li Jiaqi if he was afraid of raising tigers.
Li Jiaqi replied without a trace of hesitation: "I very much hope that Fu Peng is more popular than me." ”
I agree with a sentence that Zhou Guoping said: "Only the little wise will be aggressive, and the little good will be calculating." ”
Some friends are the little people who kicked you into the water, while some friends are noble people who pulled you ashore.
You will find that under a comfortable relationship, there are two big patterns of people hidden.
There is one data like this:
In our lifetime, we will meet about 29.2 million people. The probability of two people meeting is only 0.00478%, and the probability of acquaintance is only 0.0000005%.
So you don't have to bring everyone into your own life. Spend the rest of your precious life with people who are comfortable with you.
There is no need to please the relationship, nourish the heart; understand the relationship of transposition, raise people; the relationship of mutual achievement, health.
The sea of people is vast, may you know the right people.