What should be energetic youth, but the child is sluggish and old-fashioned, Why?

I don't know if there are such children in the family, obviously they should be energetic at an age, but they sigh and sigh all day long, they are depressed, and they always feel that they can't do anything to lift their spirits? Unfortunately, there is such a young master in my family.

Since I was a child, the young master of my family has been labeled as "old" by his relatives and friends around him, and he always feels more mature than children of the same age. The young master's personality is introverted, he likes to be quiet and does not like to move, what confrontational, violent sports activities are not very liked, play games only play puzzles, for those who play the game of fighting and killing a few times to know how to play it will no longer play. At the beginning, we were all quite proud, how good it was to be mature and stable, and I thought it was due to his personality.

But recently I don't think so, as I grow older, the learning tasks are getting heavier and heavier, the whole person is still quiet and steady, but there are more sighs, and I will complain about the rigidity of the school, complain about the teacher's dragging the classroom, etc., whether it is writing homework or doing other activities, there seems to be no enthusiasm, there is no motivation, but a state of sluggishness, and it is very tired at every turn. My intuition is that it shouldn't be, even if it is introverted, it is completely different from the state before the transfer.

I exchanged this question with the young master, and his answer was that before the transfer, the school was a private school, it needed to live in the school, and various clubs and clubs in the school often held various activities, and he felt that in the original school, he could decide and arrange many things by himself, with a sense of accomplishment and a sense of control. After the transfer, the school curriculum is very tight, there is no lunch break at noon, there is no club and various activities, in addition to learning is learning, he himself feels very boring, in the evening after school, after eating, he has to write homework, every day step by step, there is no time at his disposal, he feels very tired.

At that time, I had a question, it was a young age, this learning task should be able to cope with, right? Why aren't other children like him? Before the transfer, in addition to learning, he also participated in street dance clubs, robot clubs, wind orchestras, as well as various competitions and art festivals in the school, sports meetings and other rich activities, he was also the class leader, to prepare for class meetings, planning activities, etc., at that time did not hear him shout tired Ah, feel quite energetic, as if full of useful energy, now what is wrong?

This problem has bothered me for a while, and I have tried to get him to exercise and try to be as nutritious as possible in his diet, but the situation does not seem to improve. It wasn't until recently that I saw the word "energy management" that I seemed to have found the problem.

We always say that people's energy is limited, yes, but it is true that there is a difference between people's energy, not to mention children, even we adults also have this situation. Everyone has 24 hours a day, but sometimes we will find that some people can complete the task at once, and the daily schedule is full and full of energy; and some people are still standing in place, tired, and do not want to do anything. There may be a problem involved here, energy management. Yes, energy can be managed.

So how is energy managed? We first need to understand what energy comes from, and energy comes from three factors: physical fitness, concentration, and positive emotions.

Physical fitness needless to say, the impact on energy is obvious, eat well, sleep well, the next day will certainly be a hundred times more energetic. From the perspective of the difficulty of adjustment, it is also the easiest, pay attention to nutrition in diet, go to bed early, get up early, exercise regularly, and improve physical fitness is also easy to do.

The second factor is concentration, which needs to be cultivated from an early age, but I feel that it is easier. Generally for children, in addition to pathological reasons, there are high concentrations, as long as adults do not destroy, concentration can be maintained. There are also destroyed ones, which can also be re-cultivated, and now there are many methods, which will not be repeated here.

The third factor is emotion, and positive emotions also have a big impact on energy. I think that this situation will occur after the young master of my family transfers schools, which is positively related to this factor. I first want to do a self-reflection here, I am a relatively picky person, and there are more cases of correction of the young master's mistakes, which also causes his low sense of self-worth. I am still me, there is no change before and after the transfer, it is said that the young master should always be in such a state of sluggishness, so why is there a contrast before and after the transfer? That's definitely the school at work.

In fact, the young master was admitted to the original junior high school, and we obviously felt his changes that year, positive, hard-working, busy every day and humming small songs... These are all related to his life and learning in school. As mentioned earlier, because the school atmosphere is more relaxed and lively, there are many clubs, activities, various competitions and performances that he likes to be known by more people, and then he is the class leader, so he has a lot of affirmation from his classmates and teachers, he has a sense of achievement and control, a high sense of self-worth, these positive emotions make him energetic, not tired, and very energetic.

The current school is a completely different style, after turning around, the original "aura" is not left, coupled with the school pays more attention to test scores, every day is to go to class, write homework, learning tasks so that he has almost no free time, the mentality has definitely changed, "my world I am the master" is an important manifestation of adolescence, this time the "self-identity" is more from the surrounding classmates, teachers, so his sense of self-worth is greatly reduced, which is why he can not do anything to beat the spirit.

Fortunately, the saxophone he had been learning before was not canceled because of the heavy learning task, and now he joined the sports school shooting team by chance, these two items made him not completely collapse, although he paid time in saxophone and shooting, but gained self-confidence, which is also a fortunate thing.

The problem that I used to feel unsolvable, now I have found the cause, sorted out the idea, and then the next thing is to implement, the school we can't change, the family environment can still be changed, so start from yourself, reduce pickiness, create conditions and opportunities for him to have more autonomy, enhance his own identity. It's going to be a tough process again, the hard part is a change in the inertia of my thinking, not being picky seems to be less easy for me to do, but I'm willing to work hard. Every child is an angel sent by Heaven to save us, and they are like a mirror that illuminates our deficiencies and helps us grow. On the road of family education, let's grope and continue to move forward!