It's hard for us to "be ourselves" in life, I wear masks to communicate with other people, and when we want to be ourselves, we think, "Are we going to do things that are against the law?" "Being yourself is not what you want to do, you do, we don't care about society and other people.
Being yourself, in psychology, is the concept of self-actualization. In the early stage of psychological counseling, to be yourself is to not care whether others recognize or disagree, when he realizes that he loves himself, it is equivalent to having a connection with himself, and it is easy to establish a connection with other things and others.
A good relationship can make you yourself, if your parents respect from an early age, your sense of self, you will have a high degree of self-acceptance, good can also love to make you yourself, because the other party will tolerate and accept you. If you do not have these external conditions, then psychological counseling is an important way.
The counselor is like a mirror that allows you to see yourself, and when you are deeply connected with the client, your ego is formed in the counseling relationship, so that the client feels inclusive and accepted. We need a mirror to see ourselves, but we don't know, we are looking at a flat mirror and a haha mirror, and we can't tell which kind of mirror I am, the real self.
Chinese parents are like a mirror, hoping that you will do what you want, let you be what they want, if not what they want, they will be disappointed. It also makes you unaware of who you are. Our value always needs to be recognized by others, and only when others approve and please others, we are valuable.
So it is really difficult for us to be ourselves, if we want to become ourselves, we must first establish our own evaluation system, we can't recognize who I am through the evaluation of others? In these two evaluation systems, there are two kinds of evaluation results, whether you are the real self or the masked self.
Our nature is innocent, but when we are in society, subject to various routines, we automatically hide our hearts. A counselor asked his clients to list a few things they wanted to do but didn't. Finished in half a year.
The lady said: In order for the child to take care of the child's learning and his taste, she has not eaten hot pot for many years, has not traveled for many years, has never been to a nightclub, this time must have a good time, she is obedient to the leader, never dare to say no, this time bumped against a time.
After half a year of hard work, he finally finished these things, and she felt like she had unloaded a great burden, felt the vitality of inner life, and became what she wanted to be.
These may seem like small things, but we will find a lot of reasons for ourselves, no time, there are old, there are small, mortgage pressure. In fact, in our subconscious, we will think that being ourselves will make us feel guilty.
We will be sorry for others, we have debts, this is an obstacle that we cannot be ourselves, always feel that there is someone behind us. They may accuse themselves at any time of not doing what you want. Over time, we are who we are in the eyes of others.
If you feel that it is really difficult to fulfill your wish, thank yourself for your body before going to bed, thank every part of your body, and say to them, "You have worked hard all these years. "It feels funny, but you slowly find that you are in a tight connection to the body, and the body is full of energy.
We want to truly live ourselves, which may be our life's work, so please don't rush and don't desperately pursue in order to achieve personal goals. Please keep your inner awareness and grow slowly, and you will surely find the moment when you bloom.