This is the third article of "Letterhead Story" and the end of the story.
The first two links:
Child, this is not love, this is a sexual assault--- "Letterhead Story" view of the feeling one
What kind of children are more likely to be sexually assaulted - "Letterhead Story" view of the second feeling
After the second article was published, there was an in-depth discussion with a reader. Q: "Are literature-loving children more likely to be sexually assaulted?" Kids love to read and write now. Do you want to continue to cultivate in this area? A little scared. ”
The heroine in "Letterhead Story" is a child who loves literature. Lin Yihan, the author of "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", is also a child who loves literature. So is it possible to conclude that literature-loving children are more likely to be sexually assaulted?
Not really.
First, it is undeniable that children who love literature are more delicate in their minds and sensitive to life, otherwise they would not be able to create works. This can indeed be a weakness that can be exploited by the Wolf Master. But every child has weaknesses, and that's just one of them. Love of literature can be used, sports can be used, even willpower training can be used.
Example 1: Larry Nassar, a former team doctor on the U.S. Olympic gymnastics team, and john Geddert, former coach John Godelt, sexually assaulted thousands of gymnastics kids.
Example two: In the past 72 years, more than 7,800 former team leaders of the Boy Scouts of America have been implicated in sexually assaulting more than 12,000 children.
So the key is not to love literature, any hobby and activity of the child becomes a connection point with the bad guys, but this is only possible, can not because of the existence of possibilities to inhibit the child's hobbies and activities.
Or back to the second sense of the aftermath, the key is that parents and children to establish a close relationship, do a good job of sex education, always pay attention to the changes of children, and have stable emotional communication with children.
Second, parents should be aware that a literature-loving child may have an overly high imagination of human nature and unreasonably project this imagination onto the person with whom she/she interacts.
There was an interview video 8 days before Lin Yihan committed suicide, and she described the wolf master Li Guohua in the interview: "I have always believed that people who read Li Du's poems will be good people. She said that "what people say is believed", and the words spoken by the poet are credible, because behind them there is "a thousand hammers and a thousand tempers of sincerity." ”
The truth, goodness and beauty reflected in literary works are not necessarily related to the author's character. Generally speaking, poetry and beautiful language do convey the author's emotions and hearts, but many times, this is just an image deliberately created by the author. Ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, many authors have written works that have gone down through the ages, but in life they are scum of people with corrupt moral character and abandoning their wives and children.
Third, why do we have the impression that "children who love literature are more likely to be sexually assaulted"? Because children who love literature have the ability to create literature, they can write down their own experiences, form literary works, and widely disseminate, and because they are the author's personal experience, they are more shocking to the audience, and it is easier for people to associate sexual assault with love literature. The rate of spread does not equal the rate of occurrence.
Therefore, children's love of literature does not need to be too nervous, parents should continue to support, just pay attention to maintaining good emotional interaction, and guide children to correctly look at the distinction between character and works.
Back to the point.
Another feeling that "Letterhead Story" brings to me is that adolescence is really a rather troublesome age. Getting along with adolescent children requires great wisdom and patience.
Puberty is the process by which a child leaves his parents and becomes an adult. They crave independence and are eager to control everything like adults. They are curious about the adult world and long for their parents to see themselves as adults. But their minds are not as mature as adults, they cannot fully understand the consequences of the choices they make, but they still can't wait to make them.
Just like Jennifer in the film.
When Bill invited Jennifer to stay at his house for the night so they had more time to discuss life, Jennifer agreed. The film fictionalizes a conversation between an adult Jennifer and her young self.
Adult Jennifer: Why did you make this decision?
Young her: Because this is my life, I can make my own decisions. I want to prove to them that I am mature enough. ...... Bill won't hurt me.
Adult Jennifer: What if you're wrong?
Young her: This is my life! Let me live my life!
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Going your own way, sometimes the price is extremely high.
Every child grows up rebellious. When children are young, parents are almost all-knowing and all-powerful gods, providing the environment on which children live and defining their children's existence. During adolescence, children urgently declare their independence, and parents step off the altar to become the first stop for children to declare war on the world.
How to guide children through puberty smoothly to become a truly mature person? How to help children understand their parents, understand that everyone has their own weaknesses and limitations, experience the difficulties and tenacity of parents, and reconcile with each other? To be honest, I didn't think about it. My children are still young, and I don't have much practical experience with adolescence.
Adolescence is full of contradictions, anxieties, struggles, and chaos. Children seem to be scrappy and indestructible, but in fact, their hearts are extremely eager to be accepted and loved. That's my current understanding.
Stay tuned.
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About the author: A middle-aged woman with two treasures at home, a former lawyer, now living in the United States, living a life of looking up to God's grace with a left-handed diaper and a right-hand rag.